How To Be A Good Boyfriend?


How To Be A Good Boyfriend

  1. 20 Ways to Be a Better Boyfriend. Here are 20 tips on how to be a good boyfriend:
  2. Listen to Your Partner.
  3. Connect Daily.
  4. Practice Non-Verbal Communication.
  5. Understand Attachment Styles.
  6. Learn Each Other’s Love Language.
  7. Respect Their Mental Health.
  8. Show Empathy.

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What a girl wants from his boyfriend?

Thinking of what can make you the perfect boyfriend? Read these 10 qualities that every girl wants to see in her ideal boyfriend. – Every girl has certain expectations from her boyfriend. After all, expecting things from someone who claims to love you is only natural. Every guy should possess these 10 traits to get in the list of perfect boyfriend material.

  1. Being generous while complimenting: Guys, don’t be a miser here and shower compliments on her. A girl wants you to tell her when she looks beautiful; she wants you to admire her new dress. A girl loves it when a guy flatters her.
  2. Man of integrity and truthful: No girl would want a guy who lies to her and does not stand by his words. Girls love guys who are honest, even if it is something that is different from their opinion and judgment.
  3. Pure heart connection: Build a deep pure connection with her. Don’t fake it front of her. A girl is seeking 0a pure connection, for someone who will genuinely stand by her side and would not hurt her sentiments.
  4. Makes time for you – Everybody knows how busy you guys are but girls are looking for someone who, despite of the busy schedule, manages to take out time for her. She needs you and your time.
  5. Introduces you to his friends and family proudly: Transparency is important for a healthy relationship. You always have the opportunity to make your girl feel more confident by introducing her to your friends and family.
  6. Pushes you to follow your dreams – Girls, look for guys who are supportive and constantly push their girl towards her dreams and passions.
  7. Respects you and your decisions – Respect is something that every girl demands. Every guy who respects a girl, her decisions and her choices gains respect himself.
  8. Stands by your side and doesn’t leave you alone – A girl wants a boyfriend who will stand by her side no matter what and would not leave her alone in any circumstances. She wants your presence to be felt; if not physically, at least mentally and psychologically.
  9. Consistent – Fickle-minded guys are never the type for girls. Girls want someone who is consistent and stands by his words as a boyfriend.
  10. Open-minded – An ideal boyfriend is supposed to be open-minded. He should not be conservative, should learn to give space to her girl. Over-possessiveness of a guy in a relationship is something like committing suicide as you cannot breathe.

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What is a girlfriend supposed to do?

Download Article Download Article Whether you’re in a new relationship or you are approaching your five-year anniversary, there are numerous things you can do to improve your role in the relationship. To be a good girlfriend, you have to be open and honest with your partner, supportive of their wants and needs, and willing to demonstrate your love and affection for them.

  1. 1 Be affectionate, There are various ways to show your affection; some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately.
    • Pet names like “Baby” or “Sweetheart” are a cute way to show your affection for your partner. Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a major turn-off if you call them “Mr. Cuddle-Bear”, especially in public. Of all things, good communication is the vital part of any relationship, so make sure that they know how much you like them.
    • Regular lovey-dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. These types of things do show you’re into them, and you want it to last forever, but don’t come on so much that you scare them!
  2. 2 Be seductive. Don’t be afraid to be seductive. Most people find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy and confident. Confidence means being happy within your own skin; you will exude this without trying if you are accepting of yourself and feel secure about your own worth. You don’t have to force yourself to be the most popular, bubbly personality if that isn’t your style; rather, be the best you on show by taking good care of yourself and trusting that you’re worth their attention. Advertisement
  3. 3 Give them gifts. When you’re in a relationship, it’s fun to give each other small gifts. Everyone loves to get presents and giving them one shows that they mean a lot to you. Don’t overdo it – just give them a gift when you’re feeling loving and want to let them know how much they mean to you. You don’t want them to think you’re trying to buy their affection.
    • Make them something by hand. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that whenever they look at it, they’ll think of you and smile, If you’re the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play them a song or two (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself). Add a private video of your song to YouTube.
  4. 4 Don’t get jealous. You should be loving, but not to the point where you start seeing red the second your partner talks to, or even just mentions, another girl. Nothing will turn your significant other off faster than a girlfriend who is so insecure that she can’t stand the thought of other women existing in the universe.
    • If they’re out with their friends, don’t text them every two seconds to make sure they’re not talking to other girls. This will only make your partner see how little you trust them.
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  1. 1 Take an interest in their interests. Remember what they like to do and what they like to talk about. You don’t have to act like you love their hobbies, but at least try to understand why they’re such a fan. If they love a band, try to understand why. If they just love to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be their way of releasing stress.
    • You don’t have to take an interest in all of their interests. If they enjoy watching baseball but you just can’t get into it, that’s fine, too.
    • Just asking about their interests and talking about the things that matter to them can be enough.
  2. 2 Learn to work as a team. As in any healthy relationship, you’ll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.
    • In times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things.
    • Avoid having a “one track” relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
  3. How To Be A Good Boyfriend 3 Compliment them more than you criticize them. If everything you say around them is a criticism or an attack, they won’t look forward to seeing you and they’ll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don’t always have to agree with them just because they are your partner.
    • Though you can bring up a valid criticism when it feels right, you should say at least four positive things about them for every negative thing you say.
    • Don’t nag them just because you’re in a bad mood or things aren’t going perfectly.
  4. 4 Learn to compromise. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to learn to compromise instead of fighting or being angry the second you don’t get your way. To compromise well, you both have to be able to calmly and rationally discuss a situation while understanding the other person’s perspective.
    • You don’t want to be that girl who always gets her way just because your partner would rather give in than stand their ground because you get so angry and upset whenever things don’t go your way.
  5. 5 Give each other space, You should support your partner, but you should also be able to “be there” for them in spirit when you’re not actually around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your own thing, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to see your partner.
    • You should support your partner if they just want to have a night out with their friends instead of trying to intrude. It’s important to allow your significant other to have time to spend with their friends and hang out without you.
    • If you feel entitled to all of their time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend, Don’t be an overly protective girlfriend; let them go out without them feeling watched.
    • Remember that they don’t need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When they need some space, don’t take it personally–recognize it for what it is–their time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure they know that you’re always there for them. They need to know you will always be there.
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  1. 1 Don’t be too open in the very early days. Easing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you’re right for one another. If you try too soon to “make” something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare them away and spoil what is ‘there’ to be a good thing.
    • Don’t push them to classify your relationship too soon. You don’t have to have the label girlfriend or boyfriend after a couple of dates; this risks causing them to feel that the decision wasn’t their own. Be patient and let them make up their own mind as to when the definitions, like going steady, exclusive relationship, serious dating etc start being bandied about. If the two of you are compatible, your relationship will develop soon enough.
    • Don’t start talking about marriage or starting a family before you’ve even met their close friends and parents. Raising such issues prematurely can create tension from the outset and may stall or even bring to an end an otherwise productive and caring relationship.
    • Don’t feel the need to show off or impress them. You don’t need to prove anything to them; you simply need to be present and engaged in listening, being attentive and sharing your interests.
  2. 2 Be honest. While being honest to your partner is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself, If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize, If you’re feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to them in a non-accusing way,
    • And the most important thing here is that you will be open about your feelings as much as possible. For example, if they do or say something that bothers you, be open about how it impacts you, without being accusing or asking them to change.
    • If you establish solid lines of communication from the outset, you’ll know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will endure or fizzle out.
  3. 3 Speak your mind. Don’t be afraid to make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with your partners’. You don’t and shouldn’t exist solely to please them. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep them interested in getting to know and understand you as a person.
    • Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn’t attack anyone else’s opinion or lifestyle in any way––you can be humble and outspoken at the same time by using assertiveness strategies and remaining considerate of their feelings too.
  4. 4 Be yourself, Don’t create a fake you just to impress them. It might be tempting if you think they’d prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you’re likely to be wrong. After all, they want to date you, not some imagined form of perfection.
    • If they actually say such things to you in a badgering, persistent manner, then it is not love, but an attempt to control you.
    • Don’t pretend that you share their interests if you don’t. It might be amusing or “safe” to do so initially but it’s extremely hurtful when they learn that you don’t really love what they love; they could be basing their thoughts about your role in their future on something that isn’t real and it’ll end up hurting both of you.
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Add New Question

  • Question How do you keep a new relationship strong? Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily,, and The Good Men Project. Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Answer Learn more about your partner by asking questions and really listening. Too often we get into conversations where we’re looking for own chance to speak. However, if you can ask a variety of questions about their upbringing, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs, you can learn a lot more about them. For instance, you could ask something like “If you had unlimited money, what would you do with the rest of your life?”
  • Question How do you support your partner in a relationship? Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily,, and The Good Men Project. Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Answer Try to be as accepting as you can. For example, many men are culturally conditioned to believe that showing sadness is a sign of weakness. If your boyfriend talks about feeling sad, you could support and accept his feelings instead of judging them.
  • Question How can I be a better partner? Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily,, and The Good Men Project. Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Answer Take time to work on yourself and identify your own attachment style. For example, you might have a tendency to feel anxious and lean into your relationship, or be avoidant and lean away from your partner. Once you understand your attachment style, you can communicate it to your partner so they don’t take your behavior personally.

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  • Defend your partner. Showing loyalty and support is a key part of building a relationship’s strength.
  • Appreciate all the things that are good in your relationship. Everyone feels more comfortable when there’s appreciation. Wouldn’t you? Learn to thank them for things they do even of it means saying thank you for a ride home. The things that they do for you all resemble the respect they have for you. Not all women have a good relationship, appreciate yours.
  • If your partner is acting passive toward you, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you. It most likely means they are shy or introverted. Perhaps they have never been in a relationship before and just doesn’t know how to act. Or maybe they just aren’t the kind of person to shout from the rooftops but they still feel deeply for you. Talk to them about what causes them to act that way and be understanding, Perhaps they’re expecting you to take more initiative, because you’ve had more experience with relationships than they have. Or perhaps it really is just their way and you need to get used to it.

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  • Don’t be annoying. Annoying includes constant calls, getting angry when they spend time with friends, pestering them to spend more time with you, whining, complaining about other people all the time, asking for validation all the time (for example, always ending your sentences with “don’t you think so?”), etc.
  • Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion. Don’t intentionally make them jealous. That will result in ultimately undermining trust for the long run.
  • Don’t compare your current partner to your past one. Nobody appreciates such comparisons, even if you’re trying to make your current partner seem better. They’re not peas in a pod and you’re not the judge of people in relation to each other; think about how much this current relationship works for you in the now instead.
  • Don’t conduct secret tests on your partner to see what they’ll do. It’s humiliating, disrespectful and unfair. Plus, you wouldn’t want them to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your partner with sex.
  • Never flirt with their friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure them that they are the only person for you. If you feel the need to flirt with them, it indicates that you’re not ready for settling into a monogamous relationship.
  • Never lie. Don’t just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don’t leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. There is such a thing as lying by omission––sometimes you need to say something for the sake of clearing the air where leaving it unsaid would lead them to think the wrong things.
  • They will want a little space sometimes so don’t be offended if they ask for it.
  • It’s fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about them, but remember to be respectful of them by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don’t kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends updated on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything and let them help you to leave them. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure they know about it and is allowed to do the same with their friends; but don’t let them talk about you like an object.
  • Don’t look at their phone unless they make it clear that it’s okay. Expect the same in reverse.
  • Don’t be insecure about your appearance. If they’re dating you, they obviously think you’re attractive.
  • Know the difference between constructive criticism and criticism that simply lays waste to a person’s character because you’d prefer they’d act differently from who they are.

Advertisement Article Summary X To be a good girlfriend, be honest with your partner about your desires, needs, and opinions, so they can understand what you think and feel. If you make a mistake, apologize right away to show you care about them and want to be the best girlfriend you can be.

You should also be affectionate, by giving them hugs, kisses, and complimenting them to remind them that you care. While spending quality time together is a must, it’s equally important to have time apart from each other so you can maintain healthy friendships and pursue your personal hobbies and interests.

For more tips, including how to show an interest in your partner’s hobbies, read on! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,890,951 times.

How do u know ur bf loves u?

Download Article Download Article If you’ve been together with your boyfriend for a little while, you might want to know if it’s getting serious. Your boyfriend might say he loves you, but you aren’t sure if he really does. If your boyfriend doesn’t say he loves you, there are ways to determine whether or not he feels love toward you. Look at your boyfriend’s actions, and then consider his words.

  1. 1 Ask yourself if he treats you with respect, When your boyfriend really loves you, he’ll be interested in you. He will respect your ideas and opinions, even when he doesn’t agree with them. He’ll pay attention to details about your likes and dislikes, and he’ll accommodate your needs to the best of his ability.
    • Does he ask you about your life?
    • Does he appear to genuinely care about your feelings and opinions?
  2. 2 Observe his ability to compromise. If your boyfriend respects you, he’ll initiate compromises even though you haven’t asked him to. Whether he compromises on little things, like going to see a movie he doesn’t care for because he knows you’ll like it, or bigger issues, compromise is an important sign that your boyfriend really loves you.
    • True compromise doesn’t mean “I’ll do this for you, if you do this for me.” It’s not a negotiation.
    • Does he insist on being right on a disagreement of opinion? Or is he okay with letting you have the last word?


  3. 3 Notice where your boyfriend touches you. Most people in love have a need to touch the object of their attention, even without sexual activity. Does he seem interested in touching you? Does he feel interested in you when he’s touching you? Public touches are a public display of affection, and demonstrate to the world that the person cares for you.
    • If you’re not sure how he feels when he touches you, check with your own feelings. Are you feeling loved? Or are you feeling like he’s trying to “stake a claim” by touching you in public?
    • If he’s shy, or if he’s from a culture where public touching isn’t acceptable, he may love you and yet rarely touch you.
    • When a man touches a woman’s face, this is often a sign that he wants to be closer to her.
    • A touch on the shoulder or hand isn’t necessarily an intimate touch in most cultures. However, if he touches you on the lower back, or gently moves his hand along your leg, this is often a sign of attraction.
    • If he only touches you in private, this is a warning sign. If he touches you ONLY in public, never in private, this is another warning sign.
    • Respect is required in the way he touches you. If you don’t like the way he touches you, and he does it anyway, he’s unlikely to really love you.
  4. 4 Make sure he wants you to spend time with his friends and family. If your boyfriend wants to keep you all for himself, not share you with his friends and family, he’s unlikely to really love you. If he really loves you, he’ll want to include you in all areas of his life.
    • Including you in his family life may be difficult at first, especially if his relationship with his family is unsettled or rocky.
    • If he treats you differently around his family and friends, ask him why this is. If he’s really in love with you, he’ll be proud of you no matter what company you’re in.
  5. 5 Confirm that he wants to spend time with your friends and family. Someone who loves you will be interested in your family and friends. Even if he doesn’t like them, he’ll be willing to spend time with them if you want him to.
    • If your boyfriend avoids your family and friends, he might be shy. If he tries to get you to avoid them as well, he may be overly controlling. This is a bad sign.
    • If he doesn’t care to get to know your family and friends, this is a sign that he doesn’t really care about you.
  6. 6 Notice if he does things you want to do. Someone who loves you will try to do the things you want to do, even if he doesn’t care for them. For example, he’ll eat in restaurants because you like them, or go to cultural events because you’ve asked him to. If all your activities revolve around his interests, this may be a sign that he doesn’t really love you.
    • Doing things because someone else wants to is an action of generosity. If he insists on your doing something for him, because he did something you enjoy, this isn’t generous. It’s a form of manipulation,
    • A man who really loves you will pay attention to what you like and dislike. He’ll try to make sure you’re happy, because your happiness matters to him.
  7. 7 Avoid him if he hurts you. Sometimes people say that they are doing hurtful things “because I love you.” If your boyfriend says this to you, this is a warning sign. Learn to Recognize a Potentially Abusive Relationship and ask for help.
    • Abusive behavior isn’t limited to physical violence. If your boyfriend really loves you, he will treat you with respect. He won’t degrade you, call you names, or put down your accomplishments.
    • If you aren’t sure whether to trust your boyfriend when he says he loves you, ask a parent or a trusted friend for advice.
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  1. 1 Listen for his use of the word “we” rather than “I”. When someone loves you, he considers you when he’s thinking about his daily life. When he makes plans for the future, he includes you.
    • Does he include you in his plans, or does he make plans for himself alone?
    • When he talks to his friends or family on the phone, does he mention things you’ve done together? Does he let them know when he’s with you? Or does he avoid talking to his friends when he’s with you?
  2. 2 See if he apologizes when he’s wrong. Some men have an easy time saying they’re sorry, but their actions might not change. Some men refuse to say they’re sorry, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. Notice how your boyfriend reacts when he’s done something hurtful or insensitive. Does he apologize?
    • If someone apologizes easily, but seems to repeat the same behavior patterns, his apologies aren’t very meaningful.
    • A boyfriend who is stubborn may have a hard time apologizing for when he’s wrong, but if he loves you he’ll be uncomfortable until things are right between you again.
  3. 3 Check out whether his words match his actions. The boyfriend who says things that his actions don’t back up is essentially untrustworthy. Someone whose actions and words doesn’t match has a disconnect with his thinking. This disconnect is demonstrated through his actions and words.
    • When someone’s words and actions don’t match up, he isn’t trustworthy. Even if he loves you, you won’t be able to trust him.
    • Many times, a boyfriend will try to explain away this disconnect through confessing his negative life experiences. This often has the result of girls feeling sorry for him and trying to help.
    • Other times, someone caught in a disconnect will try to blame you. He’ll turn your conversation around to accuse you of negative thinking. This is a warning sign.
  4. 4 Remember that saying “I love you” isn’t enough. Someone who says, “I love you,” but doesn’t act in loving, caring ways doesn’t really love you. The words “I love you” are sometimes used in dishonest, manipulative ways. When someone says, “I love you,” consider if their actions match their words.
    • If you aren’t sure whether you should trust someone’s words, ask a trusted person for help figuring it out. Maybe they’ve noticed something that you haven’t.
    • If you feel convinced your boyfriend really loves you, then you’re ready to think about whether or not that’s good enough for you. If your boyfriend loves you, it doesn’t mean that you have to love him back.
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Add New Question

  • Question How do you test if your boyfriend loves you? John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. Dating Coach Expert Answer Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer. Look for these signs that your boyfriend might not be in love with you anymore: he isn’t showing up for you the way he used to. He’s not taking your calls or answering your texts. He’s starting to pull away. He doesn’t want to spend as much time with you or has too many excuses to not see you. He’d rather hang out with his friends than you. He’s not as playful with you as he used to be.
  • Question What if my boyfriend doesn’t speak to me? Ask him what’s going on. He’s probably bothered by something else and does not realize you are affected by it. You’re in a relationship, and one of the pro’s for that is that you should always be there for each other. And most importantly, listen.
  • Question I always call my boyfriend rather than him calling me. This makes me feel sad but if I complain it starts an argument. What can I do? Tell him your feelings without blaming him for them. Tell him you fear that the relationship is one-sided. If he values you, your happiness will be important to him, and he should make an effort to please you.

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There are many online quizzes that claim to tell you whether or not your boyfriend really loves you. Take them if you want to, but consider their results with caution. These quizzes might be most interesting to help you think about your relationship in a new way.


  • If you find yourself regularly doing things you don’t want to do, or saying things you don’t want to say, because of your boyfriend, you might be in a bad relationship.
  • Remember that abusive relationships take many shapes. If you aren’t sure if you’re being abused, consider doing some research into the warning signs of abuse.

Advertisement Article Summary X If you want to know whether your boyfriend really loves you, think about the way he treats you. For example, if he respects your ideas and opinions even when he doesn’t agree with them, that’s a good sign that he loves you.

You should also think about the way he touches you. If he only touches you in private, but never in public, this could be a sign that he’s not truly in love with you. Along with his actions, you should pay attention to what he says, especially when he does something wrong. If your boyfriend loves you, he should be able to apologize without being dismissive or finding ways to put the blame on you.

Most importantly, make sure he says “I love you” while acting in a loving and caring way, and not because he’s trying to manipulate you into something. For more advice, including how to tell if your boyfriend is being abusive, keep reading. Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,410,380 times.

How should you behave in a relationship?

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? Share What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power.

Respect for privacy and space. You don’t have to be with your partner 24/7. Your partner encourages you to spend time with friends without them, and to participate in activities that you enjoy. You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner. Your feel physically safe and your partner doesn’t force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Your partner respects your wishes and feelings and you can compromise and negotiate when there are disagreements or conflicts.

The foundation of a healthy relationship includes:

Boundaries: You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s’ needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with. Communication: You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged. Trust: Building trust can take time and allows couples to be vulnerable with one another knowing that they can rely on the other person. Consent: Most commonly used when you’re being sexually active, giving consent means that you are okay with what is happening, and that no one is forcing you or guilting you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. Consent can be given and taken back at any time, and giving consent once does not mean you automatically give consent in the future.

See how these things go hand in hand by exploring the other sections to your left. Please keep in mind that in some abusive relationships, trying to enforce boundaries, honest communication, trust, and other healthy behaviors could put your safety at risk.

  • Remember, abuse is about power and control and someone who is abusive might not want to give up their control over you.
  • Be careful.
  • If you feel like someone is disrespecting you or is being abusive, check out the “Get Help” section.
  • You’re not alone.
  • Having boundaries is like drawing a line.
  • One side has the things you are okay with and the other side, those that you are not okay with, don’t feel ready for, or make you uncomfortable.

This line looks different for everyone, so it is important for you to know where yours needs to be drawn. Setting boundaries is a way to teach your partner about your needs, and let you know when something doesn’t feel right. You are allowed to put your needs before someone else’s needs, especially if their needs make you uncomfortable.

Step 1: What are your boundaries? Think about these categories and what they mean in terms of your relationship. Physical: Are you okay with public displays of affection? Does affection make you uncomfortable? Do you hate it or love it when your partner tickles you? Do you need a lot of alone time? Learn more about,

Emotional : Are you able to share what you are feeling right away or do you need some time to think about it? Do you need your partner to be available anytime you have a crisis? When are you ready to say I love you? Learn more about, Sexual: Do you need to get to know your partner a while before engaging in any kind of sexual activity, or are you okay getting physical right away? What sexual activity are you okay with? Learn more about,

  • Digital: Are you posting your relationship status? Is it okay if your partner uses your phone? Do you want to share passwords? Learn more about,
  • Material: Do you like sharing your stuff? Are you okay paying for your partner or vice versa? Spiritual: Do you like to practice your religion with a partner or alone? Does your partner need to have the same beliefs as you or can they be different as long as yours are respected? Are you waiting until marriage before you have sex? Step 2: Letting your partner know what your boundaries are.

You don’t have to sit down with your partner with a check list of all of the things that make you uncomfortable, but you do have be open and honest. Some of these things might come up early in the relationship, like if you are a virgin and don’t want to have sex until you’re ready.

  1. Some of these things may not come up for a while, like if your partner wants to share passwords after dating for 6 months.
  2. When your needs are different than your partner’s, have a conversation; you don’t need to give an explanation.
  3. It may be awkward, but having the tough conversations is a part of having a healthy relationship.

When your partner listens to you and respects you, it builds trust. Step 3: Recognizing when the line has been crossed. Sometimes, boundaries get crossed even after you’ve talked with your partner; this is where trusting yourself comes in. You may be sad, anxious or angry or you may not know exactly what you are feeling.

Always trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t. S tep 4: Responding. If a boundary has been crossed by your partner who didn’t know where your line was drawn, have an honest conversation. It could be something as simple as saying, “Hey, I really don’t like it when you _.

This makes me really uncomfortable. Do you think next time you can _ instead?” This might take some back and forth before coming to an agreement that meets both of your needs, but your relationship will be stronger because of it. If a boundary has been crossed even though you had already been clear about your boundaries,,

  • Crossing a line might be obvious, like if you say no to having sex, but your partner uses physical force to make you do something you don’t want to do.
  • But it can also be more subtle, like if your partner guilts you into something, begs you until you give in or threatens to break up with you unless you do what they want.

Open and honest communication is an important part of every relationship because it allows you to share who you are and what you need from the people around you. Miscommunication is common, but can often lead to problems, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.

These tips will help you talk to your partner honestly. Speaking: Be open and clear about how you are feeling; if you don’t understand something, tell them; use “I statements” so that the other person doesn’t feel like you are blaming or attacking them (“I feel that.); be honest, even if you think the other person might not like hearing I how you truly feel; apologize when you are wrong or hurt the other person; when talking about something negative, also mention something positive.

Listening: Pay attention without distractions (put your phone away) when the other person is talking; listen to what they are saying instead of just thinking about how to respond; wait for them to finish talking before you say something; use acknowledging statements like “interesting,” to let them know you hear what they are saying; ask questions if you don’t understand something to avoid confusion and misunderstanding; don’t leave them hanging (if you need to think about what they said before responding, tell them that); be prepared to hear something that you don’t like and really think about it before responding.

  • Body Language: Make eye contact; face them; give your full attention and lean in as they are speaking.
  • Digital Communication: Don’t have an important conversation over text or online.
  • When chatting online, focus on the conversation instead of being distracted by other things or having multiple other conversations; if you can’t respond, let the other person know so you don’t leave them hanging.

Where and when to have an important conversation: When talking about something important, talk when you are feeling calm or take some time to cool down if you had a fight. Talk about your concerns before they become problems and get worse. Make sure you are talking privately so you can be open about your feelings.

If you feel that your partner doesn’t do these things, or, be careful when using these tips and check out our section. It can take time to build trust. And while it can be hard to trust someone, especially if your trust was broken in the past, you can’t blame your current partner for something someone else did.

Here are some ways to help build trust: Be reliable: If you needed your partner to listen to you because you were having a bad day, or if you needed a ride home from school, would they be there for you? Would you be there for them? Respect boundaries: When you tell your partner that something makes you uncomfortable, do they respect that? Does it go both ways? Be honest: Does your partner tell you how they feel instead of just giving you the silent treatment? Do you tell your partner how you feel, and make an effort to talk things through? If you made a mistake, would you tell your partner? Would your partner tell you? Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk: Do what you say and say what you mean,

  1. Consent is an agreement between two people, given through words or actions, that they are both clearly and enthusiastically willing to engage in sexual activity.
  2. Silence or lack of resistance does not count as consent.
  3. Some people aren’t able to give consent, such as individuals who are drunk, sleeping or unconscious, and some people with intellectual disabilities.

Consent involves active communication, and knowing that one person always has to right to withdraw consent. This means that someone can consent to one activity (kissing) but not consent to another (sex). Consent, like sex, should be about respecting each other to make their own decisions about their body.

What 3 things make relationships better?

Having healthy relationships comes easy to some people. For the rest of us, they’re about as easy a drooling third-grader trying to pass an astrophysics exam. Not only have we set ourselves up to fail, we lack the perspective to even know where to begin in creating healthy, loving relationships in our lives.

Mutual respect Mutual trust Mutual affection

We’ll cover each component in more detail throughout this article, but briefly, here’s what they look like in a healthy relationship: Respect in the relationship means that you both hold each other in high regard. When you respect someone, you admire them for certain qualities they possess and/or the character they embody.

  • Trust in each other means you take each other at your word.
  • If one person says they’re going to do something, the other person assumes they’ll do as they say.
  • If someone makes a mistake, the other person expects them to be honest and tell them.
  • In fact, trust really just comes down to each person being completely honest with the other, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Affection in healthy relationships is freely given and received. Healthy couples don’t need to remind themselves to show their partner that they love and appreciate them. They just do, And the recipient receives affection with affection rather than turning it away or taking it for granted.

  • If physical contact and sex are important for the relationship, each person engages enthusiastically (of course, no one will always be “in the mood,” but for the most part, this should hold true).
  • Problems in any or all of these areas could mean that one or both partners have an insecure attachment style or it could mean that the relationship is flawed in some other fundamental way.

Notice that love is not a core component of a healthy relationship. This comes as shock to a lot of people when they hear me say it. How could this even be possible? Well, first consider the fact that you can love someone who is absolutely terrible for you.

  1. People stay in horrible, toxic, even abusive relationships because they love each other,
  2. And it’s not that they’ve simply convinced themselves that they love the other person, they actually do love them.
  3. You can love a friend or relative who’s addicted to drugs or alcohol, even when they’re hurting you and everyone else around them.

Children can love their neglectful and even abusive parents. So in much the same way, we can love a partner who’s terrible for us. By itself, love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Love is not the reason two people should stay in a relationship. Instead, true, unconditional love is the wonderful product of two people creating a healthy bond with each other.

  • So with that caveat—that love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship—let’s turn to how a healthy relationship can begin to break down.
  • Then, we’ll look at how broken relationships can possibly be fixed.
  • I call these three qualities of a relationship “core” components because they make up the real foundation of the relationship.

And just like a foundation of a building, if one component falters, the others soon follow. For example, if your partner begins to withhold affection in your relationship, it will likely lead to an erosion of trust. You might wonder why the sudden change? Are they eyeing or even seeing someone else? Are they really more interested in the mailman than they say they are? Is something wrong with me ? This can eventually cause one or both of you to lose respect for one another: your partner becomes uncomfortable with all the second-guessing and starts to doubt your “stability” as a partner (whether that’s an accurate assessment or not).

  • And now, after all your second-guessing, you’re triple-guessing whether you chose a good partner—you’ve lost respect for one another.
  • Another example: say your partner joins what, to you, is clearly a get-rich-quick pyramid scheme.
  • Up to this point, you’ve respected their intelligence and level-headedness.

That respect has now taken a blow as you question your own judgment of them. This causes you to lack trust in them with financial decisions (and maybe other decisions as well). Their long-term prospects as a partner are called into question: Will they make stupid financial decisions down the road? Will I get caught up in those bad decisions? What if we get married and have kids—can they make good decisions for our family? As you can see, when you lose one of the core components of a healthy relationship, a downward spiral ensues.

  1. The good news is that the spiral can work in the other direction as well.
  2. Every relationship, at some point, is bound to run into problems with one or more of these core components.
  3. Two different types of things tend to happen when there is a breakdown: either a) one or both people change or b) mistakes are made.

And I don’t mean they change their hairstyle or what they eat for breakfast. I mean real-deal, identity-level changes. Maybe your partner finds religion and decides to devote a lot of their time to the church/temple/mosque. If you’re not religious, this will certainly create tension in the relationship.

  1. Maybe you decide that the world is going to hell and you’re going to devote all of your time to preparing for doomsday by building a bunker in the backyard and stockpiling guns and food.
  2. If your partner isn’t prone to this lifestyle, they’ll understandably start to question being with you.
  3. Identity-level changes like these tend to make people lose respect for the other person.

Something you admired about them is either gone, not very important to them anymore, or replaced with something you don’t respect as much as they do. This creates a vacuum of respect in the relationship. I’ll be blunt: it’s very hard to overcome these sorts of issues in the relationship.

But if you’re willing to work with them and their new identity, you’re going to have to find new sources of respect in the relationship. If they’ve turned religious and you used to admire their secular, humanistic worldview, you might find a way to still respect their compassion for others. If they decided to go full-blown, hippie-dippie, tree-hugging vegan and you just love to eat meat and drive a gas-guzzling monster truck to get groceries, well—I don’t know what the fuck you two are doing together, but maybe you can respect their recycling habit? The point is that any respect that was lost in the transformation of one person must be made up in some way or another.

No one is perfect. I know that’s obvious, but it bears repeating because sometimes our standards for others are just not reasonable. At any rate, when legitimate mistakes are made, trust in the relationship is violated. Whatever mistake was made, a few things need to happen for the relationship to be fully restored:

Give it some time. The sting of the mistake just naturally wears off with time. If you fucked up, give the other person some space to process the situation. If they fucked up, tell them you need a little time to think it over. Make sure it’s a one-time mistake. Acknowledging your mistake is one thing, but being responsible and accountable for it by committing to not doing it again shows the other person you’re serious about the relationship. Repeat offenders—when it’s something that truly threatens the relationship—should be avoided at all costs. The other person must be open to forgiveness (eventually), Even if some time has passed and the person who made the mistake has given an honest, true effort to never do it again, it doesn’t mean that the “victim” must be willing to forgive them.

Now, mistakes vary in degree and severity and, therefore, vary in how easily they’re overcome. Minor mistakes—like snide comments made at the wrong time or forgetting to run an errand for the other person—usually take very little time to get over, they’re easily avoided in the future, and easily forgiven by the other person.

  • Bigger mistakes will take a lot more work on both ends of the relationship.
  • You’ll have to ask yourself if it’s truly worth it (and be brutally honest in your answer).
  • One of the most common types of questions I get is about relationships.
  • They always have a backstory to tell, a moment when they realized things weren’t going all that smoothly, a specific incident they think illustrates their problem just right.

But really, they’re all asking the same question. Namely, how can you turn a toxic relationship into a healthy one? If this is you, or if you’re not sure if your relationship is toxic or not, check out my articles on toxic relationships and how to fix them: If you’re finding the same issues popping up over and over in your relationships, I encourage you to check out the following books:

What are the 3 things a woman wants in a man?

What Experts Say Women Actually Want in a Man In the age of, finding love has never been more accessible. It can be as simple as filling out a compatibility quiz, or swiping right if that’s more your speed, but online profiles don’t always tell the full story, and meeting up with someone you connected with online can lead to some surprising discoveries.

  1. Getting to know the real person behind the profile is an important step, and before you can decide whether or not to, you need to know what you’re actually looking for and what they themselves are looking for in a partner.
  2. Any good relationship is built on some basic, down-to-earth qualities,” says licensed counselor,

While superficial qualities like good looks and sexual chemistry are some of the early indicators of compatibility, there are a few more significant, must-have characteristics women look for in the man they hope to spend the rest of their lives with—characteristics that aren’t as likely to lessen with time.

  1. While no two women are the same, we rounded up eight of the essential qualities that experts say all women want in a man.
  2. Read on if you need a few pointers.
  3. When a man believes in himself, knows who he is, and knows what he wants, it’s very appealing to a woman, and is usually something she can tell simply from the attitude he exudes.

It’s important to note the key distinction between having high self-esteem versus an over-inflated ego. While women want a man who is confident and self-assured, they don’t want a man who is overbearing, has to be the center of attention, and thinks he’s the most important person in the world.

  • Being means being comfortable with who you are and believing in yourself and that you’re worth taking the time to get to know.
  • Women respond to the positive and upbeat energy a confident man is putting out in the world, so long as that confidence doesn’t overextend into egotism.
  • When a man doesn’t feel the need to compete with or belittle others to lift himself up, it will go a long way in winning a woman’s attention.

When a man is honest and, he instantly becomes more appealing and desirable to a woman. If he’s dependable, truthful, genuine, and speaks from the heart, he’s a guy who is worth pursuing, as people can take him at his word. “Trust and trustworthiness allow relationships to deepen,” says Degges-White.

  • After all, a woman needs to know that, if a relationship is to last long-term, she’ll be able to rely on her man just as he should be able to rely on her.
  • Having integrity means acting virtuously and having a strong moral character.
  • Women desire a man who is honorable, fair, and ethical.
  • In terms of relationships, having integrity can help strengthen the bond a man has with a woman, as his moral principles will guide his behavior and help him to be the best partner that he can be.

Bonus points when that integrity extends beyond the relationship and a man can treat others with fairness and kindness. A man who is compassionate and empathetic is one step ahead when it comes to attracting women. Women want a man they can open up to, whether it’s about a bad day at the office or in regard to their deepest hopes and fears.

  1. Having empathy means that you’re able to understand another person’s point of view and can sympathize with what they are going through.
  2. Women are highly interested in a man who has the ability and desire to show care and concern for others, too.
  3. Women desire a man who is rather than a man who is cut off and emotionally unavailable.

While fully and openly expressing feelings may seem strange or awkward at first, it’s important to be able to show a vulnerable, emotional, and human side of yourself in order to build a lasting relationship. Women prefer a man who isn’t afraid to show their true feelings and discuss them openly, instead of a man who keeps everything bottled up inside of him.

  • And yes, sometimes this means talking about previous relationships and sharing parts of your past.
  • In order to have a healthy, happy, and, both partners have to treat each other with respect.
  • If a woman feels taken for granted, dispensable, or treated poorly by a man, she’ll likely drop him in order to avoid a broken heart.

“When a person is made to feel disrespected or patronized, the relationship is likely to end sooner rather than later,” Degges-White says. A woman will be more drawn to a man who shows her care and gives her the respect she deserves. A woman will be paying attention to your ability to show respect not just to her, but to others as well, especially her friends and family.

A man who can show respect to others is ahead of the pack, and that won’t go unnoticed. You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian or a comedy writer to capture a woman’s attention, but having the ability to goof off, joke around, and have a sense of humor is highly appealing. “When two people are laughing at the same thing, they are basically saying, ‘I share your perspective, your values, and I certainly share what you think is amusing’,” says Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas.

Hall’s study into the relationship between humor and romance found that the more times a man tried to be funny and in turn the more times a woman laughed at his jokes, the more likely she was to be romantically interested. It’s simple science that a man who exudes a happy, lighthearted, and into the world will make a woman want to be around him.

Odds are that if the above traits apply to you, you’ve probably already got the maturity part down. It’s important to show a woman that not only are you emotionally mature and able to keep an open line of communication, but also that you’re mentally mature and capable of behaving like a grown-up when it’s time to do so.

You can show this by thinking rationally, not overreacting, and solving problems together after careful discussion. That’s not to say you can’t have fun and be silly together, as allowing that side of yourself to show is a sign of maturity in itself. Brides takes every opportunity to use high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles.

Hall JA., Evolutionary Psychology,2015 Sept;13(3). doi:10.1177/1474704915598918.

: What Experts Say Women Actually Want in a Man

What a girl needs in a relationship?

Traits of Relational Sensitivity –

  1. Women need men to show kindness, patience, understanding,, and compassion. Regardless of the type of relationship, men and women should be considerate of each other’s feelings. Recognize that a partner’s trials and tribulations matter to her and that partners’ roles are to cherish and care for and about one another.
  2. between men and women is also desired. Being a friend to your partner means treating her in the patient, accepting manner in which you treat other close friends.
  3. Emotional maturity is essential. It’s okay to have some childish fun when it’s appropriate, but it’s important for women and men to behave like grown-ups when it’s time to do so, too. Being aware that brute strength does not equal is also helpful in maintaining healthy communication and connection. Sometimes it’s better to sit back and think through problems before trying to manhandle your partner into a forced solution.
  4. Being supportive of the women in your life can do a world of good. Supporting your partner is a primary role. Whether your partner or a friend needs emotional or practical support, be there to assist in small and big ways. Whether it’s taking time to listen, or more active involvement in major decisions, child-rearing, finances, etc., make your presence a positive and supportive one.
  5. Sensitivity, coupled with validation of your partner’s experiences, is essential. The cultural experiences of adults vary greatly based on, Recognize your own biases in how you view other women and imagine how your partner might be negatively affected by a world that sees women as less than. Don’t assume she is making things up when she shares stories of prejudice,, or unfair treatment. Gender roles constrain behavior; playing a part in breaking down harmful gender roles at home and in the workplace benefits both men and women. Don’t make women jump a higher bar to prove themselves – women and men should be afforded the same rewards for the same investment. Gender shouldn’t be a disadvantage in a relationship or a workplace.