How To Look Good In School?

19.04.2023 Grady A. Lowry 0 Comments

Download Article Download Article It can be difficult to look good for school with all those strict rules and short time to get ready in the morning. However, this article will show you how to put the glam back into your school look easily and effortlessly!

1 Start from the inside out. If you want to look good for school, or just simply look good in general, you have to be healthy and maintain a good image!
- Make sure you drink lots of water each day. Drink at least six to eight cups. This will give you beautiful, glowing skin and clear up any acne or blemishes you have.
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Make sure to eat lots of fruits and vegetables and eat fat or sugary foods sparingly, especially at breakfast. A healthy breakfast will put you in a good mood for the day, therefore lightening your expression and preparing you for a long day of learning.
- Exercise daily for about thirty minutes a day. If you’re a busy person, simply go for a quick walk or jog. You can exercise at home too like jogging on the spot. If you are overweight, consider losing a few pounds. Don’t diet obsessively though, just exercise.
- Get enough sleep each night. At least nine or ten hours. A pale face with dark under eye circles isn’t exactly pretty.
2 Be hygienic.
- Shower daily. To save time in the morning, you might want to shower at night, but showering in the morning can help you wake up – it’s your choice! Wash your hair on a regular basis and clean your face and body. To have beautiful hair use hair products that are designed for your hair type. Use skin products that will work well with your skin type and use scented soap to achieve a subtle scent.
- Wear an antiperspirant-deodorant. Apply it every morning to the underarms to help stay fresh.
- Get rid of any unwanted body hair. Shave or wax your legs, trim your bikini line and do your eyebrows.
- Wear panty-liners/pads/tampons and always carry spare in your purse just in case.
- Brush your teeth. If you are unhappy with your teeth, consider investing in braces or whitening toothpaste. Never get a dark color of braces like orange, black, green, or anything like that. Go with a cuter color or clear. If you don’t need braces, just brush your teeth, whiten them once a month (Use this sparingly, teeth whitening can weaken your teeth), use mouthwash and floss.
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3 Try to keep clear skin. Cleanse your face every morning and night. When cleansing, don’t scrub. Instead, gently glide your fingers over your skin with a feather-light touch. Cleansing should be quick. It shouldn’t take over ten seconds. If you take over ten seconds, you’re stripping your skin of it’s natural oils which leads to more pimples! Every morning apply a moisturizer. Make sure you don’t use too much though or your skin will look oily. Use a spot treatment every night, regardless to whether you have acne or not. Using a spot treatment when you don’t have acne will prevent you from getting any spots.
4 Put on makeup. Keep it natural and light. Maybe some mascara,highlighter, lip gloss, and blush. Make sure your makeup matches your outfit and your skin tone/type. Nothing looks worse then flaky, orange foundation. Be sure to invest in good quality makeup, you don’t want clumped mascara or eye-liner.
- Add an element of eyeshadow or liner. If you really want to play things up a bit, apply a thin line of black eyeliner on your upper lash line with a tiny flick at the end. Don’t overdo it though.
- Apply some lip balm and then a pretty lip tint. Lip tint is a great option for school as it lasts a long time. Be sure to apply lip balm when you use lip tint because lip tint can really dry out your lips making them look chapped, which is not so attractive.
- If you need extra coverage, apply a tinted moisturizer or B.B cream.
- Curl lashes and apply a couple thin coats of brown mascara. If your school says no then don’t put makeup.
5 Do your hair. Comb it until soft, and style it accordingly. Have your hair in a different style everyday for school. This is glamorous. Wear cute headbands or hair accessories! You could curl it, put it in a ponytail, a bun, a side ponytail, french braids, Dutch braids, one braid, two braids, a messy bun, ballet bun, neat bun,low ponytail, high ponytail, the list is endless! You could just put it down either, or ringlets if you can.
- When you wash your hair, use a good quality shampoo and conditioner that smells nice. When rinsing your hair, use slightly cool water. This will maintain the shine in your hair.
- Brush your hair daily. This will bring the oil from the roots of the hair to the tips, making it look super shiny and healthy. If you don’t brush your hair daily, the oil at the roots will collect, making your hair look oily.
- Consider going to a hairdresser. Get your hair cut stylishly (layers are cute) and if you’re allowed to, highlight or dip-dye your hair a natural colour. If you want to look really cool, and if your school allows it, highlight or dip-dye your hair a cool colour like red if you have dark brown or black hair, blonde for light brown hair and pink for blonde hair.
6 Consider perfume or body spray. A hint of scent is nice. Apply a sweet smelling perfume to your neck, wrists and elbows and spritz some over your clothes.
7 Pick an outfit the night before. Check the weather. If it’s warm a skirt and a cute top could look good, but even better if you add accessories like a ring, necklace, earrings or some bracelets! If the weather is a little chilly, this is an excellent excuse to bring out the scarf! Scarves are super cute and convenient during winter.
- Don’t forget about nice shoes! Kitten heels, flats and boots are super cute. Some schools only allow black or brown shoes.
- Accessorize. Wear earrings. Some schools only allow studs. Change your earrings everyday. If you’re allowed to, wear necklaces and bracelets.
- Choose clothes that you like that fit your school’s dress code. Try to be unique and creative. This will help you stand out from others.
8 Keep your nails looking good. Clean, trim, file and buff your nails weekly. If you’re allowed to, paint them a pretty colour. If you’re not allowed any bright colors or would like to go for a more natural look, apply clear polish.
9 Focus on confidence and the right attitude! Walk in the hallway with your head up, shoulders back and your back straight. It shows you are confident, and hopefully you are! Confidence is attractive, but be sure to not be overconfident, this can come off as cocky and people generally will not like you for it.
- No one will approach you if you’re mean. Be kind and remember to smile. Practice smiling in front of the mirror to get that perfect smile.
- Have a good start of the school day; wake up fresh and happy. Smile and try not to act grumpy or drowsy. Try to think of all the things you are looking forward to at school. Waking up happier can make you look kinder and more approachable.

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Question What if you don’t have any hair products? It does not matter, just wash your hair very well and put on condition that smells nice. You can also make a good ponytail or braid.
Question How can I boost my confidence and look good? If you look good and you love yourself, your confidence will boost by itself.
Question What can I do if I can’t wear makeup for school? Try to keep your skin as clean as possible and keep your hair in great shape.

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Contents

1 What makes a girl look smart?
- - 1.0.1 How to be a cute shy girl in school?
2 What makes a person unattractive?
- 2.1 What are attractive eyes?
- 2.2 Do guys like smart or pretty girls?
  - 2.2.1 Do guys notice what a girl wears?
  - 2.2.2 How can I look pretty for my crush at school?

What makes a girl look smart?

Download Article Download Article This guide will cover mainly physical appearance plus tips and advice on how to act in school. A smart girl can have the world at her feet if she works hard for her goals. This article assumes that you are already a smart girl and want the world to know it, but for more tips on increasing your actual intelligence, please see the related articles.So are you ready to distinguish yourself from the rest of the girls by turning into a smart girl even by your looks?

1 Envision yourself as the “smart girl”. Observe other brainy girls carefully. What do you like about them? What do you dislike about them? Make a list of the pros and cons before you consider the change.
2 Cut your hair to a medium length. Studies have shown that medium length hair is perceived as intelligent. If your hair is medium length, you can neatly braid it, wear it down and natural or put it in a neat looking bun. If you would prefer to keep it long, that is okay, but, you should make sure it’s clean and neat. Whatever your style, make sure it doesn’t take too long to manage. You will want to spend more time learning and less time standing in front of the mirror. Keep it natural looking and avoid excessive hair product (including dye, except in a natural colour). A small leather headband is good too. Advertisement
3 Dress intelligently. Cotton polo shirts, T-shirts with the names of museums or with university logos on them, plain and tailored looking pants, knee-length and above the knee skirts and clean, neat, clean-cut and sensible leather shoes/sandals are all nice. Navy blue, plaids and brown also look nice, but don’t do it every day. Avoid trends and flashy clothes. Dress modestly. Don’t show too much skin.
4 Keep your make-up clean and not excessive or elaborate. No glitter or shine. Imitate the makeup of women of stature. Look for inspiration from fashion websites that address makeup for working women, and only use makeup in that section. You don’t have to wear any makeup if you don’t want to. Avoid excessive piercings.
5 Wear glasses if you need them. Sometimes it makes people seem more intelligent, especially rectangle and rounded frames. Keep them clean. Thick frames are especially good. However, if you don’t need them, don’t be pretentious.
6 Carry these items: a practical backpack of reasonable size, a good book to read, an address book to put your friends’ phone numbers in, notebooks for your various needs, school paper, some pencils with good erasers, some ball point pens, a hand held manual pencil sharpener that doesn’t need to be used over a trash bag, some good art erasers, some good eraser caps and a study/day planner.

1 Impress your teachers, Start to study very hard and keep trying to raise your grades. Ask your teachers what you can do for extra credit. Your teachers in high school will write recommendations for you for college. Keep that in mind! Become a “do-er” at school which means win the science fair, run for office or organize the school dance. Write good articles for the school newspaper.
2 Show enthusiasm about school. Many teens show, or pretend to have, a very negative or bored attitude about high school and working hard. They think it is “cool” to be indifferent. Be the opposite. If you don’t take delight in school, why waste your time? You are there to learn.
3 Build a “homework cave” for yourself at home. Keep all your work/books/supplies in one place, along with a desk and a strong desk light. Insist on peace and quiet from other family members. If it is too loud at home, study at the public library. Organising your schoolwork and making lists helps you, not just in school, but in life.
4 With your principal’s permission, start a project in your school. Try to raise money and awareness for worthy causes such as “Stop Hunger in Africa” or “Cure Childhood Cancer”. You will also feel like a better person for it.
5 Find a smart woman for a role model, Ask if she will “mentor” you during school.
6 Set Goals, It’s much easier to get things done if you clearly outline to yourself exactly what it is that you need to do.
7 Always have your stationery out in lessons. Have your planner out, then put your pencil case on top in front of you. Get your ruler and pen/pencil out, ready to learn.
8 Volunteer to answer questions in class. Teachers will think you are really trying and it could be the few marks you will need to move from a B to A.

1 Work hard to get into university. University admissions look at the High School you went to, your transcripts (grades and SAT scores), your teacher/counselor recommendations and what you tell them in your essays about yourself. Finish college applications early when you are a Senior.
2 Broaden your hobbies. Discover interesting things to do with your close friends and when you are by yourself. Try to pick a music, a sport, a craft, and anything else you love.
3 Practice time management, It will leave you more room for fun. Figure out where you are losing too much time in your day and fix it.
4 Develop poise, Work at becoming steady and confident. Try to some have composure at all times. Giggling, gossiping and insecurity make you look silly. Practice staying calm under pressure and being comfortable in a variety of settings.
5 Exercise as much as you can. It will give you much-needed focus and make you more relaxed. Eat protein sources: egg white, tuna fish, chicken, power bars, etc. Try out for a good team sport like soccer or something you enjoy. Get good at it and enjoy it. Attend sports camps in the summer for at least 2 weeks. Try to jog, slowly building up to 5 kilometres (3 miles) a day to help your endurance. Also run stairs if you can to build up your leg muscles. A great side benefit is how thin you will stay or become and you will feel great about yourself. Also working out at a gym can build strength and confidence.

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Always try your best to be noticed but not too attention getting. Take lots of notes in class and listen to your teachers. Sometimes you have to go out of your way to get special recognition at school. Be the first to finish your class projects. Don’t just look smart but be smart, Win some awards and praise from the school teachers. Set goals to improve your grades but don’t stress out too much!
Start writing all the time. Anything you want to write is fine. Most high schools and colleges reward very good essays. They might even read your story aloud to the class!
Be more competitive. Try to see what scores other people have, and try getting yours even just a bit higher than theirs.

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To do this you must be steady and consistent. Your behavior and your language should be softer and not aggressive.
A big turn off of hanging around smart people is they risk becoming “know-it-alls” and bragging too much about themselves. Keep clear of that obnoxious behavior and fly low under the radar. Never brag about your high test scores or awards. Surprise people when they didn’t know you had it in you! Wait until they hear about it from your mom, best friend or teachers.
Don’t let the day that the college admissions offices release their results make you too upset. The competition these days to get into certain universities is almost impossible, almost, Don’t take it personally!
It’s hard if you are shy but smart kids ask their teachers questions. It might be extra hard to ask a teacher a question about the subject that he or she is teaching — especially if, in your culture, a) girls are discouraged from asking questions, and / or b) asking questions implies that the teacher doesn’t know what s/he’s doing — but try it anyway. Then listen very carefully to the answer.
When you go to a party do not drink. Alcohol destroys brain cells not to mention your liver. Many kids who are under pressure or stress from school drink to forget their problems. Don’t be a crowd follower, as it makes you look and act stupid and you might do things you will regret. Don’t get off your goal oriented track. Better yet, just drink soda instead, as alcohol is awful for you, not to mention illegal if you’re a minor.
There will be people and events that will seem, or actively try, to stop you in your goals and dreams. If you want it badly enough, you will be successful.
A typical day of a smart girl is tough. You might have AP or honor classes to study for, then a sports practice or a club session. During the summer try swimming and biking to build your physical endurance. Exercise helps the brain function better.
If you feel burned out and are seriously unhappy, ask your parents if you can take the entire summer off.
If your parents start to pressure you about grades and the like, tell them you are working on yourself and show improvement. If they are obsessed about you and everything you do at school, you may have a problem, especially if they won’t back off. Tell them very nicely and gently that they need to get a new hobby besides you. Smile at them and give them a hug, You are not only smart and lovely (inside and out) but a lady as well. Remember that.
Always do your homework and turn everything in on time. It’s pretty much a given that smart girls are responsible about deadlines and this is crucial to your image of intelligence.

Various pens and pencils
Backpack
Book
Planner
Address book
Erasers
Hand held pencil sharpener

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How to be a cute shy girl in school?

How to Be Shy at School: 15 Steps (with Pictures)

1 Be meek. To be meek means to be quiet, or to have a kind of gentle demeanor. Even though these are traits of a shy person, they can also be good qualities to possess. Meekness can lend itself to approachability, which can actually make you appear more marketable during things like job interviews in the future. Keep to yourself, especially if there is any kind of drama going on. Be humble and kind, and don’t let your ego get inflated.
- Even if your goal is to keep people at a distance and not interact much with others, it still pays to practice being approachable for the future when it will pay off in your favor.
2 Avoid speaking too much. In class, you might sit closer to the back of the room and keep to yourself. Avoid raising your hand and volunteering during class discussions. If people are hanging out and talking in the hall, don’t join in. The less you speak up, the more shy you’ll appear.
- Don’t let acting shy make you also appear rude. Don’t blatantly ignore someone if they speak to you, especially if it’s a teacher or person of authority.
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3 Avoid participating at events or activities outside school. Shy people tend to stay away from social situations. Shy people can be socially awkward sometimes, and gathering in groups can be a source of anxiety. You can choose to not attend these events, but if you do go, keep to yourself at them. Sit quietly by yourself. You could bring a book to read or play on your phone. This will make you appear shy.
- Events like parties, pep rallies, and sporting events are usually full of people being loud and crazy, so if you want to appear shy, you’ll want to act the opposite.
4 Let other people start conversations. Shy people have trouble initiating conversations. If you want to act shy, don’t approach people and start conversations. Let others talk first, whether one-on-one or in groups.
- Shy people also have trouble keeping conversations going. Keep your conversations short and to the point.
5 Keep a small circle of friends. Since many shy people have difficulty getting close with people, try to only keep a few good friends that you spend time with regularly. Having a huge group of friends might make you come off as a popular or outgoing person, which isn’t really what you’re going for.
- Feel free to act more like yourself around these close friends. Just because you want to act shy at school doesn’t mean you’ll want to cut yourself off from having any meaningful relationships at all.
6 Keep a book with you at school. Keeping your nose in a book when you’re in social situations can help you appear shy. It will make you look studious, rather than just socially awkward sitting there silently doing nothing. If you keep a novel with you to read at lunchtime, for example, it can help you keep to yourself.
7 Keep to yourself in class. As mentioned, you’ll want to avoid participating in class discussions, and only answer if the teacher calls on you directly. If the class breaks up to do group work, hang back on your own and do your own work. If you must be part of a group, do your work quietly and keep your eyes down on your paper.
- Don’t avoid speaking to the teacher if they call on you. You don’t want to end up getting scolded or in trouble because you are acting shy.

1 Wear muted or neutral colors. Rather than wearing bright or neon colors, wear lighter, more neutral tones. These tones are usually black, white, shades of brown, or even gray. These colors are far less likely to stand out in a crowd. Shy people want to blend in rather than stand out, so neutral clothing colors are a way to do that.
- The advantage to stocking your closet with neutrals is that they are great universal colors. On days you want to stand out a little more, or maybe when you’re outside of school, these neutrals will pair well with brighter colors in outfits.
2 Avoid wearing flashy prints. Again, the goal is to blend in rather than stand out. Loud or flashy prints on your clothing don’t do a very good job at helping you blend in. Try to stick to solid colors, or simple prints like horizontal stripes. Consider avoiding t-shirts with logos, band names, or any other writing. These things could act as conversation starters, or reasons for strangers to approach you and ask about what’s printed on your shirt.
3 Wear simple outfits. Keep your hemlines modest, and try not to show too much skin. Try comfortable cardigans, simple jeans, and plain shoes. Try to avoid layering on accessories like costume jewelry. If you wear makeup, keep it to a minimum. Stick to neutral and natural colors.
- Fashion is a quick way to draw attention to yourself. From the colors and prints of your clothing to how you style it, it’s best to always lean towards the muted, and subtle side of things when trying to act shy.
4 Keep a simple, traditional hairstyle. If you’re trying to blend in, dying your hair bright pink or putting it in a mohawk won’t really help your case. Keep your haircut simple and traditional, like a bob for girls or a simple crew cut for guys. Anything that doesn’t really stand out is a good option.
- You still want to feel comfortable and good about yourself, so you’ll still want to pick a hairstyle you actually like!
5 Keep it modest. If you’re trying to act shy in a way that makes you come across as cute, then you’ll want to make sure the clothes you choose are modest. A cute, shy person wouldn’t wear revealing clothing. This kind of clothing would end up drawing attention to you rather than diverting it. A shy person in modest clothing can appear cute, approachable, and innocent.

1 Avoid too much eye contact. When walking in the hallways, making eye contact, especially with people you know, could result in them starting a conversation. A shy person will want to avoid this. Keep your eye contact to a minimum so you can keep to yourself. Not looking at people is a sign to them that you aren’t interested in talking or interacting.
- If you’re at lunch and want to be left alone, consider reading a book or doing homework. This way, you won’t find yourself looking around and end up inviting attention or unwanted conversation.
2 Keep some distance between yourself and other people. Even in crowded school hallways, try to keep to yourself physically. Shy people are sometimes made anxious by being physically close to other people. By keeping some distance between yourself and others, you’ll also be sending the message that you don’t want to interact with them.
- If you are talking to someone, don’t stand close. Keep a few feet between your bodies. This will send a signal to the other person that you’re ready to leave at any moment, and they might end the conversation sooner.
3 Fold your arms. Folding your arms across your body is a defensive signal in body language. It’s sort of like you’re trying to protect yourself from the outside world, which is exactly what a shy person would do. Folded arms generally mean someone doesn’t want to be approached.
- Remember: you’re trying to look shy, not bold or irritated. Fold your arms loosely, sort of like you’re giving yourself a hug, rather than folding them tightly and looking assertive. Keeping your shoulders a bit slouched and your head down will also help.

Question How can I be shy and cute? Licensed Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). Try being quieter, stay in the background, and be more agreeable and less dominant. Appreciate others and their ideas.
Question How do I overcome social anxiety and shyness? Licensed Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). Social anxiety and shyness are different things. Shyness is sometimes a developmental thing or a personality thing, and the person is generally accepting of it. With social anxiety, contact with others is terrifying and painful and causes a lot of worry.
Question How do I stop being shy at school? Licensed Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). Try to start conversations with one person at a time. During lunchtime, don’t look down into a book; make eye contact with others to be more inviting. And say “yes” when someone asks you to join them for a conversation, class project, or have lunch.

Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by, Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.

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Updated: November 13, 2022
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 77,785 times.

“I was always chattering out of fear. This taught me to show others that I am afraid, and I don’t want to talk to anyone, which allowed me to have more meaningful friendships with people like myself. Thanks to the writer!”,”

: How to Be Shy at School: 15 Steps (with Pictures)
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What makes a person unattractive?

According to scientific studies, most unattractive traits aren’t physical. Some of the guaranteed ways to turn people off involve dishonesty, not having a sense of humor, and even sleep deprivation. Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories.
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What are attractive eyes?

When broken down by gender, men ranked gray, blue, and green eyes as the most attractive, while women said they were most attracted to green, hazel, and gray eyes. Despite brown eyes ranking at the bottom of our perceived attraction scale, approximately 79% of the world’s population sports melanin-rich brown eyes.
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Do guys like smart or pretty girls?

Do Men Actually Not Want to Date Intelligent Women? Source: LDprod/Shutterstock Each year, Match.com releases data on American singles (not just those on Match.com), which the media gobbles up immediately. With identifying as single/dating, trends make for great headlines. But the came with particularly heavy fanfare from women’s magazines.

I still remember when this piece of research hit my desk, and I leaned forward a little bit in my chair to read its seemingly feminist ink.
After looking into the mating preferences of more than 5,000 men and women by way of survey, researcher and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., writes that we are seeing a “Clooney Effect” in this country — a nod to the recent marriage of America’s favorite bachelor, actor George Clooney, to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin.

According to Fisher’s numbers, men desire smart, strong, successful women; 87 percent of men said they would date a woman who was more intellectual than they were, who was better educated, and who made considerably more money than they did, while 86 percent said they were in search of a woman who was confident and self-assured.

around the web followed, saying (and men, too), but there I was in early 2015, reading those headlines with an eyebrow raised and an air of skepticism. I am lucky to be surrounded by some brilliant women — verifiable “catches.” Gorgeous women my guy friends always ask me about. I have also watched these same smart, independent women struggle in bad relationships or fly solo for extended periods of time, despite their best efforts to land a good guy.

So, what did this mean? If 87 percent of men were actively looking to couple with them, why were they still single? Plus, the ladies of my friend circle who were actually in healthy relationships did not exactly fit the description laid out by Fisher.

Although they were super smart and attractive in their own right, the perpetually matched in my sphere did not fit a clear-cut profile, and I would not automatically group them into the same category as very -oriented, put-together Amal.
Clearly, they had some secret sauce of, but what? I wasn’t sure.

I began floating casual questions by the guys in my life to try to gain a better understanding: “So, like, what’s your type?” (I was breezy about it, I swear.) As one of my male friends put it, the general consensus was: “The smarter and more successful, the better! There are no limits.” I’d then hear about a doctor, nearing 30, who was about to give up on dating, because she didn’t feel like men valued her brains.

Huh.
So now I was confused by the research, the real-life relationships around me, and the response from men — gaps, gaps, gaps between all these pieces that seemingly did not fit together.
The Science of a Changing Landscape

I finally did what any skeptical journalist would do: I kept my eyes open for more research. In late 2015, emerged in the and Social Psychology Bulletin, which had further clues into all the holes I was seeing firsthand in this new theory of dating. The study proposes this: Men like more intelligent women in theory — when they imagine them as romantic partners, or when they have psychological distance from them.

However, when they actually have to interact with such a woman, something interesting happens.
In the study of 105 men, researchers laid out several scenarios.
In the first, they told men that “a woman down the hall,” whom they never saw, either outperformed or underperformed them on an test.
Then they were told to imagine this woman as a romantic partner.

Unsurprisingly, the guys more frequently desired the woman who outperformed them (#feminists). However, in the second round, men were given an intelligence test and then told that they were about to meet a woman who had bested them on the same exam. Ah, yes.

The mythic smart, successful, beautiful woman every guy supposedly wanted.
In the study, the men didn’t go after this awesome woman, according to lead researcher Lora Park, a professor in psychology at University at Buffalo.
When the woman was psychologically near — a real-life face-to-face interaction — men moved their chair further away from the woman, as an indicator of less interest in her, and reported less romantic attraction toward the woman when she outperformed versus underperformed him on a test,” she tells me.

The way Park explains it, men only think they know what they want — or they know what they want in theory, not what they’d choose when put to the test IRL. “Men seem to be influenced less by their ideal partner preferences and more by their emotions or feelings at the moment,” she says.

“Specifically, when men were outperformed by a woman in a domain that they cared about — intelligence — they felt threatened, assessed by diminished self-ratings of masculinity, which then led them to act in a way counter to what their expressed ideal preferences were.” In other words, these guys felt way inferior in the smarter woman’s presence, and so they went rogue; they ditched their self-described dream gal for someone who didn’t best their intelligence.

Wow, I thought. Eureka! This study actually helped explain Fisher’s “Singles in America” numbers from a psychological perspective — and then explained what I’d been seeing anecdotally. I was a contributing writer for Yahoo Health at the time, and I immediately pitched an idea to my editor — which she cleared me to write.

I began researching a story with this question at the center: Are men intimidated by a woman who is the full package? I talked to many men. And when all was said and done, I was forced to acknowledge that I was onto something bigger — a paradigm shift that I couldn’t explain in one simple article. My research complicated the we were being fed about what men are looking for in a partner, who they date, and why they date them.

Saying that men like smart women encompassed about 1 percent of the nuanced reality. As a writer, I’m constantly chewing on questions. People ask me about my job, and I usually say, “When I don’t have answers, I see if someone will employ me to find them.” Well, this question became the center of my work life.

And, eventually, my real life as a dater.) Modern-day dating dynamics, in a world where women can do and be anything, are so layered and fascinating you’re likely not even aware of some of the phenomena in play. I began finding connections in every new data set I encountered and on every date I ventured out on.

When I began my research, almost all the guys I interviewed or chatted up insisted that when it came to the women they wanted, “the more, the better.” They also said that while they were not personally intimidated by smart, successful, attractive women, they felt most other men were.

But as I got guys talking — really talking — they started to say some more revelatory things.
I talked to my good friend Jack, a witty and self-aware 27-year-old consultant.
When I asked him what he was looking for in a lifelong partner, he said that, of course, he wanted a smart, independent, successful, beautiful woman (yada yada).

However, later in our conversation, he also said that if he didn’t feel like he could win over a girl who fit the bill, he’d “start looking for reasons to discount her.” And he told me, “You can pretty easily convince yourself that you never really wanted her to begin with.” I went on a date with a handsome real estate broker a few years my senior, someone with the fearless facade of a man hardened to rejection and immune to the effects of deflected,

He acted entirely secure in himself — but off the cuff, when I casually brought up the question of whether he would be intimidated to date the quintessential accomplished woman, he was quite candid.
I want her to be smart and successful,” he said.
But not as smart and successful as I am.” One of my girlfriends (a lovely, brilliant-yet-soft-spoken entrepreneur) once went on a first date with a guy who runs in our social sphere.

He made her a sushi dinner, in fact, and they had five hours of great conversation before calling it a night. Interestingly, though, he seemed to push her away very quickly afterward — right into “friend” territory. He wasn’t going to date her, yet he’d drop everything to meet her for a last-minute happy hour after work or hand over his football tickets to her friends as a show of respect.

Relationship expert Susan Walsh, founder of the popular dating site Hooking Up Smart, once told me, “When a man tries to convince you not to date him, listen.”
Still, if men know a great thing when they find it, why don’t they pull the trigger?
The Love Gap
You’ve probably been discussing this dating gray area with your friends for eons, but allow me to finally define and label it for you:

The Love Gap, n. — the reason men don’t always pursue the women they claim to want; frequently, women like you. The Love Gap is a thoroughly modern phenomenon that now exists between the sexes — which is why we’re focusing on heterosexual pairings here.

The dynamics are unique to 21st-century men and women with evolved desires for a relationship, who also have to get around generations and generations of the ingrained male provider/female nurturer framework.
What lies in the Love Gap? Oh, I don’t know,
Let’s start with a few things.
Psychological distance.

Timelines. Past heartbreaks. Ancient roles. Socialized differences in the sexes’ view of love, emotions, and vulnerability. A lack of genuine “relationship-nurturing” qualities today. Games, because everybody wants “the upper hand.” How the sexes respond to their partner’s “reflected glory.” I could extrapolate for days — and I will, because we need to identify the Love Gap in our daily lives, so that we can understand and navigate it.

If we want to finally build fulfilling relationships with compatible partners, we need to grasp why we believe what we believe — and parse out why those beliefs are not always accurate.
This entire modern landscape starts with you in all your awesomeness.
I want to introduce you to the “End Goal” woman, a.k.a.

you — EG for short. End goal, n. — (1) a smart, successful, “full-package” woman whom men admire, date, and deem aspirational; she contains the sort of substance and carries the type of connection they want to lock down — someday; (2) a modern woman who knows what she wants in love and in life; she has an ultimate objective in mind for her future, and she is unwilling to settle in getting there.

Before this book was even a sparkle in my eye, I was consistently baffled by the dating stories I’d hear from career women.
Women who had their lives together — for the most part.
It’s not like they didn’t ever make questionable decisions; we all spend unreasonable amounts of cash on six new lipsticks at Sephora or forget to call our mom sometimes.

But these women had substance, charm, and that they were actively reaching for. In fact, many of these girls were my favorite people in the whole world! Women who always filled my life with fun and positive energy. And yet, I was still fielding sob-filled phone calls about men who were breaking their hearts.

I listened to a lot of their stories — and then, to help me understand, I started talking to a lot of guys.
Eventually, I mapped out an explanation, a conclusion I’d felt for the entirety of my adult life, but never identified before in black and white: Men don’t always date the women they claim to want at any given time in their lives.

And it’s not because they’re “just not that into you.” Let’s dig deeper. Excerpted from the book THE LOVE GAP: A Radical Way to Win in Life and Love by Jenna Birch. Copyright © 2018 by Jenna Birch. Reprinted with permission of Grand Central Life & Style.

All rights reserved.
Facebook image: LDprod/Shutterstock References U.S.
Census Bureau, “Facts for Features: Unmarried and Single Americans Week: Sept.18–24, 2016,” news release, August 26, 2016,,
Match.com, “Singles in America: Match Releases Its Fifth Annual Comprehensive Study on the Single Population,” news release, Feb.4, 2016,,

Zahra Barnes, “Why ‘The Clooney Effect’ Is Amazing for Your Love Life,” Glamour, Jan.13, 2016, ; Tanya Basu, “The Clooney Effect,” Atlantic, Feb.26, 2015,, Lora E. Park, Ariana F. Young, and Paul W. Eastwick, “(Psychological) Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder: Effects of Psychological Distance and Relative Intelligence on Men’s Attraction to Women,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 41, no.11 (Nov.1, 2015): 1459–73,, Robertlamphoto/Shutterstock Budding romantic relationships are often laced with as much anxiety as excitement: There’s the pounding heart before a first kiss, the internal calculation to share confidences and intimate revelations, the nervousness about meeting a new partner’s family.

Perhaps no early relationship milestone is as imbued with meaning—and trepidation—as the first utterance of “I love you.” The fear of nonreciprocation after saying it is enough to prompt many people to hold back, says Art Markman, a psychologist at the University of Texas, Austin.
If one person is feeling an intense emotion and the other is not, then declaring love can create a moment of truth for a relationship, where reservations have to be discussed.” And because saying it flags not only an intense emotion but also one’s level of commitment to a relationship, experts find that the phrase is loaded with different signifiers, depending on who says it first and when, as well as how one reacts to hearing it.

In heterosexual relationships, it’s commonly assumed that the woman is the one who says “I love you” first. Yet studies show that it’s actually men most of the time, and one reason for that may be that they feel love first. In a 2011 study published in The Journal of Social Psychology, Marissa Harrison, an associate professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University, Harrisburg, found that men reported feeling and confessing love as early as a few weeks into a new relationship, while women’s timelines were substantially longer.

Women are predisposed to postpone the emotion,” Harrison says. “It’s an inherent protective mechanism, giving them time to accurately assess a partner’s mate value.” Men, however, may also have adaptive impulses that drive them to less than truthfully say “I love you” before having sex as a way of boosting their reproductive chances, says Joshua Ackerman, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan.

In a 2011 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Ackerman and his colleagues considered the timing of declarations of love in relation to the onset of sex in relationships. They theorized that when men said it first, before having sex, it was a way to gain their partner’s trust and thus ease the way to sexual activity—an impulse that the men may not even have been conscious of.

The decision to say they feel love first can make sense strategically,” Ackerman says.
Expressions of love can serve other kinds of gains, like short-term romantic relationships.” But women’s internal alarms tend to go off when they hear love proclaimed too early in a relationship, Ackerman found.
They may rightly interpret it as an insincere ploy for sex without the commitment to back it up—a critical factor since women have the higher burden of bearing and raising children.

Women felt significantly happier hearing postcoital declarations of love, perhaps because they had already incurred the potential cost of a sexual encounter. “From an economic perspective, if you have a higher cost, you want to be choosier,” Ackerman explains.

“From a parental-involvement perspective, in terms of the risk, men tend to have lower necessary investment.” And the same risk that makes women wary of too-early declarations of love may also be the reason they’re more likely to withhold their own expressions of love while assessing if their mate is going to stick around.

When women did declare love early on, men interested in short-term flings reported feeling happy about it even if they knew the woman was seeking more commitment than they were prepared to offer. The reasoning? Men presumed sex was on the way, though their happiness declined postcoitally.

By contrast, men interested in a long-term relationship reported feeling happy when their partner declared love before ever having sex, but having even more positive feelings if she said it after they’d slept together.
It may not only be adaptive instincts that undergird expressions of love.
Markman thinks men more often say “I love you” first for a cultural reason—the expectation that they take the lead in relationships.

They’re the ones traditionally assumed to ask for an initial date, buy the ring, and propose marriage, so it makes sense that they should also take the plunge with a statement of commitment. “Men believe that women need to be reassured of an emotional connection,” Markman says.

It may also be that men have more idealistic attitudes about love than women. “Men tend to have more romanticized views of relationships in general, which means they’re more likely to believe in love at first sight and that love conquers all,” explains Gary Lewandowski, a psychologist at Monmouth University in New Jersey.

As a relationship progresses, each person should feel more at ease saying “I love you,” Markman says, adding that such “emotional expressions of commitment” are particularly important in Western societies, where romantic love is the presumed basis of relationships.

But, he says, demonstrations of caring are ultimately more important than declarations.
Resource commitments demonstrate that someone is willing to sacrifice his or her own short-term well-being to invest in the relationship—that’s one of the signals that an engagement ring creates,” Markman says.
The meaning of the phrase “I love you” also changes over time, he adds.

After starting as an expression of intense emotion, it evolves into a commitment to keep engaging in behaviors that benefit and strengthen the relationship. So when should you first say it? There is no hard-and-fast rule, though the unsurprising advice from Karla Ivankovich, an adjunct psychology professor at the University of Illinois, Springfield, is to say it when you really mean it and not when you don’t.

That could be after two months or twelve, but the timing matters less than the authenticity of the feeling and the accompanying commitment.
In relationships, there’s an inordinate amount of pressure to get to this stage and even more pressure to reciprocate once it’s been stated,” Ivankovich notes.
Expressing it before you actually mean it can cause the relationship to fail.

But when you avoid definitively stating the emotion, you also put the relationship’s progression at risk.” Facebook image: Dean Drobot/Shutterstock Relationships: Magic Words There’s more to saying “I love you” than sharing a powerful emotion. There’s more to saying “I love you” than sharing a powerful emotion. Psychology Today Magazine Exclude from Most Popular More from Psychology Today Robertlamphoto/Shutterstock Budding romantic relationships are often laced with as much anxiety as excitement: There’s the pounding heart before a first kiss, the internal calculation to share confidences and intimate revelations, the nervousness about meeting a new partner’s family.

Perhaps no early relationship milestone is as imbued with meaning—and trepidation—as the first utterance of “I love you.” The fear of nonreciprocation after saying it is enough to prompt many people to hold back, says Art Markman, a psychologist at the University of Texas, Austin.
If one person is feeling an intense emotion and the other is not, then declaring love can create a moment of truth for a relationship, where reservations have to be discussed.” And because saying it flags not only an intense emotion but also one’s level of commitment to a relationship, experts find that the phrase is loaded with different signifiers, depending on who says it first and when, as well as how one reacts to hearing it.

“Women are predisposed to postpone the emotion,” Harrison says. “It’s an inherent protective mechanism, giving them time to accurately assess a partner’s mate value.” Men, however, may also have adaptive impulses that drive them to less than truthfully say “I love you” before having sex as a way of boosting their reproductive chances, says Joshua Ackerman, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan.

“The decision to say they feel love first can make sense strategically,” Ackerman says. “Expressions of love can serve other kinds of gains, like short-term romantic relationships.” But women’s internal alarms tend to go off when they hear love proclaimed too early in a relationship, Ackerman found. They may rightly interpret it as an insincere ploy for sex without the commitment to back it up—a critical factor since women have the higher burden of bearing and raising children.

“From a parental-involvement perspective, in terms of the risk, men tend to have lower necessary investment.” And the same risk that makes women wary of too-early declarations of love may also be the reason they’re more likely to withhold their own expressions of love while assessing if their mate is going to stick around.

By contrast, men interested in a long-term relationship reported feeling happy when their partner declared love before ever having sex, but having even more positive feelings if she said it after they’d slept together. It may not only be adaptive instincts that undergird expressions of love. Markman thinks men more often say “I love you” first for a cultural reason—the expectation that they take the lead in relationships.

But, he says, demonstrations of caring are ultimately more important than declarations.
Resource commitments demonstrate that someone is willing to sacrifice his or her own short-term well-being to invest in the relationship—that’s one of the signals that an engagement ring creates,” Markman says.
The meaning of the phrase “I love you” also changes over time, he adds.

That could be after two months or twelve, but the timing matters less than the authenticity of the feeling and the accompanying commitment. “In relationships, there’s an inordinate amount of pressure to get to this stage and even more pressure to reciprocate once it’s been stated,” Ivankovich notes. “Expressing it before you actually mean it can cause the relationship to fail.

Do guys notice what a girl wears?

What a woman’s outfit really says to members of the visually-driven and not-so-fashion-savvy sex (men!) Ask most guys what they like to see on a woman, and they’ll probably joke: “Nothing!” But men are known to be the ‘visual gender’ and not only do they notice what women are wearing but also draw conclusions about you from how you dress. I think most men develop a life-long liking for a certain type of dressing in a woman after a seismically sartorial moment in their adolescence.

It could be a boy who watched his mother apply scarlet lipstick and cat eyes in the 60s, or a teenager who caught a glimpse of a saree-clad siren. While I may prefer women in no-frills undies because they reveal a confident woman who knows how to let her body speak for itself (think Jennifer Aniston, Gisele and Kate Moss), some of my more testosterone-driven amigos salivate over Victoria’s Secret lingerie replete with frou-frou paraphernalia, towering heels and mini-dresses.

Every man is different, and so are his preferences. Then what is it that men actually want to see women wearing? While women are inclined to cover up what they perceive as their less-than-perfect bodies, men don’t see women nearly as critically. Women may see a tummy and thighs they wish were firmer, but a man will see a woman that he’s crazy about! Apart from speaking to some high profile male designers and fashion industry wallahs, The Express Tribune also polled about a dozen men aged between 22 and 55.

‘Fitted’ was a word generously used — with pencil skirts, tight jeans and body hugging dresses all favourites. Men like to see that there is a body under there, even if it’s not perfect. It all goes back to playing up one’s assets. Belted dresses and jumpsuits were also popular choices, while churidaar pajamas and tunics nipped at the waist were deemed appealing for the workplace. All the men agreed that the classic black dress — albeit fitted — was a good choice. Casual wear favourites were again figure-hugging with skinny jeans being popular — but only if they were coupled with heels or knee-high boots. Simple vests were also a hit, while tops with necklines that reveal the décolletage were favoured — especially strapless, bandeau numbers V-necks. Short skirts were also, unsurprisingly, a crowd pleaser. Some men cited seductive underwear as a party-pleaser. Some of the married men felt that the comforts of a long-term relationship had lulled their partners into giving up their lacy push-up bras for the comfort and support of stodgy undies. So go out and buy some fun lingerie and get a little gussied up every now and then; no one has to see it but your partner in the privacy of your own home. I would add a smile to the equation. There’s nothing attractive about a scowling sourpuss, even if she is wearing a short skirt, a plunging neckline and high heels. The footwear of choice was the high-heeled court shoe. Heels create height and, more importantly, a flattering wiggle to a woman’s walk. Toe shapes were a sensitive subject with the panel. Many of the men questioned were not in favour of the dangerously pointy stiletto-type shoe nor did they share any fondness for the round-toe shape of seasons past. A compromise between the two — which, in the fashion world, is regarded as the ‘almond’ toe — was favoured. As far as jewellery goes, there were some clear favourites. Some men said they liked the wedding ring on their wives’ fingers, some of which matched their own. Artistic silver ankle bracelets or anklets were commonly considered sexy as were hoop earrings and delicate diametre necklaces of the type that sit very close to the top of the chest or bottom of the neck and are embellished with stones.

What men don’t want women to wear

Those massive androgynous flip flops with toe wells and the oddly popular Gladiator sandals modeled after the ones worn by Biblical heroes. Clothing that got the big ‘no no’ from our panel included smocks and tunics, anything that smacks of a muumuu and, in general, any long, unconstructed tent-like garment that hides, camouflages, or shrouds, which many men thought made a woman look pregnant. Baggy, androgynous trousers and denim were considered too masculine in many cases. Capri-pants looked stupid in a mistakenly shrunk- in-the-wash way. Oversized Jackie O shades were considered “ridiculous.” Wearing too much makeup was cited as a huge mistake. We all know that woman who cakes it on —smoky eyes, red lips and bronzer all at the same time. And we all know what we think of her! A little bit of make-up goes a long way. Sure, even out the skin tone and use a little under-eye concealer, but really to cover your face in paint just seems unreasonable. No man I’ve ever met would prefer a woman with a tonne of make-up. In fact, many say women are at their most attractive when they’re a bit undone.

What’s on a man’s mind? What a woman’s outfit really says to members of the visually-driven and not-so-fashion-savvy sex (men!)

In my mind, logo overload screams: “Let’s go shopping!” Many women carry their LV totes, Hermès Birkins or Chanel chain-bags like part of their anatomy. But there is nothing less appealing than having an oversized designer name splayed across your chest or hooked pretentiously on your arm. Men interpret a woman’s need to announce the ‘fabulousness’ of her stuff as “insecurity or plain ugly shallowness”. “If labels are a woman’s priority, she’s completely lost me,” says Aamir, 22. “When I notice designer tags on a woman, I personally worry about my credit card balance should we actually get together. If the only gift I can afford from her favourite label is a key chain, her birthday isn’t going to be any fun for either of us.” Most men believe that sky-high heels suggest a woman is “high-maintenance”. Women tell me that stilettos make them feel powerful and emboldened. But when you teeter on your tiptoes with only a thin six-inch bar to balance on, it begs the question: How much fun can you be having standing in one place looking, yes, va-va-voom — but precariously balanced? Tariq, 29, agrees: “The entire time my wife is walking, I’m thinking: Is she going to twist her ankle, and am I going to have to spend all night with her in the emergency room?” Revealing clothes announce to me that a woman might wear sequin capris to my dadi’s funeral! Don’t get me wrong, I find sexy clothes appealing — but the milieu and context is all-important. If a prospective date dresses in a Pampers-sized mini for a GT with my work colleagues, I would wonder about her judgment and imagine myself needing to cover her up at a prospective Eid dinner with my family. Yes, that vamp in the Guess ads looks hot in her cropped cowboy shirt and super-tight jeans. But she also looks like she might run off with the photographer! Red lipstick signals a woman who is self-assured and empowered. Red lips are a sign of strength, prowess and assertion. Consider Jean Harlow’s red pout in the 1930s, Veronica Lake’s in the 1940s and Marilyn Monroe’s in the 1950s. None of these actresses was known for playing the girlish ingénue. They were women with overtly feminine power. They were knowing. Dressing your lips in red draws people’s attention to you, especially your mouth, and subsequently, the words that come out of it.

“A man likes a woman to look hot if she is his girlfriend; cute if she is his sister; graceful if she is his mother and sultry if she is his wife. Men know best how a woman needs to dress because men fantasise about women all the time!” said an anonymous 45-year-old educationist and retired Army Major.

“Clothes say a lot about a woman’s exposure, lifestyle and confidence. The way she wears her hair and make-up says a lot about her sense of style and sophistication. Her choice of fragrance and pair of heels say a lot about her personality and taste,” said Usman Dittu, womenswear designer. “These days, everyone has a ‘designer bag’, original or fake — so big deal!” “I love to see women wearing blazer suits and a button-down shirt.

I think there’s just something extremely hot about a woman who knows how to carry ‘power dressing’ in a feminine way,” said Munib Nawaz, menswear designer. “I also like to see a woman wearing a man’s dress shirt or T-shirt. The clothes that I like to see women wearing represent power, authority, and elegance, yet still maintain an air of femininity and seduction.

These women are subtle in their moves and extremely smart. They know how to command any situation or milieu without being in your face.” “I like to see women in high heels but a maximum of 4 inches; anything over that looks weird!” said Arsalan Iqbal of Arsalan & Yahseer, fashion designer. “Backless and sleeveless clothes are adventurous options, but I prefer an elegant silhouette with minimalist design.

A perfect form-fitted gown is a big turn-on for me. I hate women in jumpsuits although they are on-trend these days! Minimal make-up with lighter shades of lipstick and a bit of contouring does it for me. Excessive foundation and overly experimental hairstyles on women are major turnoffs.

Less is more!” In conclusion, when I like a woman I like every inch of her.
I also want her to like herself.
So if she wears a cluster of fabric that obscures her shape, I worry that she may be ashamed of herself — her beautiful, natural, perfectly flawed self.
Former Vogue Paris editor Carine Roitfeld has said that she hates perfection and, when casting for fashion editorials always looked for models with some flaw.

Twenty-two year-old Aamir is with me on this one as well. “The most beautiful thing about a woman is her body, its silhouette and lines,” he says. “Don’t put a sack over them!” Having said that, one woman can wear a slinky halter-dress and look self-conscious in it, and another can totally rock a voluminous trapeze dress like it’s her second skin.

At the end of the day, a woman is going to look her best in something she feels good in, which is the most important point of all: If you’re comfortable in your skin, in your body, you’re on a winning streak.
Any messages I or any man might read into your clothes can be superseded by a smile, an inner glow, a canny coolness and poise that says, “I don’t really care what you think, Zurain, I love this outfit.” Chances are then, I probably will as well A fashion journalist and social commentator who has contributed to various international publications including The Washington Times (Style Section), Harper’s Bazaar and The Seattle Times.

Published in The Express Tribune, Ms T, August 19 th, 2012.
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How can I look pretty for my crush at school?

Download Article Download Article When you have a crush on someone, it’s natural that you’d want to look great whenever they’re around! Luckily, there are plenty of things you can do to look your best, from taking good care of your body to wearing clothes that flatter your figure.

1 Keep a regular sleeping schedule so you get plenty of rest, Sticking to a regular sleep schedule can help you get a better night’s sleep, so try to go to bed at the same time every night, and wake up at the same time each morning. When you’re well-rested, you’re going to look refreshed, youthful, and energetic, so you’ll look great even if you run into your crush first thing in the morning!
- If you can, try to stick to the same schedule every night, even on the weekends. However, if you stay up late one night, try to make yourself wake up at your normal time so you don’t disrupt your schedule more than you have.
2 Maintain your personal hygiene every day. If you want your crush to find you attractive, it’s important to make sure you keep your body clean and cared for. Each day, take a shower or a bath, brush your teeth and floss, and wear deodorant.
- You should also wash your face and apply a lightweight facial moisturizer twice a day. Choose face products that are formulated for your skin type, like a gentle cream cleanser for dry skin or a foaming cleanser for oily skin.
- To make sure your hands look nice, keep your nails clean and trimmed.
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3 Try wearing the color red to catch your crush’s eye. If you know you’re going to be around your crush, try grabbing an eye-catching color from your closet. For instance, you could go bold with a bright red top, or you could wear a neutral shirt with red accents for a more toned-down look. Red is the color of passion and love, so it’s a great way to send a signal to your crush!
- You can still impress your crush when you wear other colors besides red, especially if you see your crush every day. Try to pick colors that look good with your skin tone. For instance, if you have a warm skin tone, you might complement that by wearing colors like orange, yellow, and beige. If you have a cooler skin tone, you might look best in blues and greens.
- Remember, no matter what your personal style, you’ll look your best if your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free. Also, opt for clothing that skims across your figure for the most flattering fit. If your clothes are too tight, you might seem uncomfortable, and if they’re too baggy, you may come across as sloppy.
4 Take the time to style your hair before you see your crush. While the way you do your hair will depend on your haircut and your personal style, you’ll look your best if you take at least a little time in the mirror each morning. If you need to, use a product like mousse or hairspray to help your hair hold the style you choose.
- For instance, if you have short hair, you might use gel to create a spiky hairstyle if your style is edgy, or you might comb it behind your ears and hairspray it for a put-together look.
- If you have long hair, you might tie it in a neat braid or ponytail to keep it out of your face, you could straighten it so it lies flat, or you might use a curling wand to create beachy waves,
Having a Bad Hair Day? Try using a scarf, headband, or hat to cover your hair!
5 Use accessories to show your personal style. When you’re getting dressed, try to pick at least one accessory to jazz up your outfit. Sometimes the smallest touches can elevate your look from basic to amazing! For instance, even if you’re wearing a basic jeans-and-tee combo, you could change the whole feel of the outfit just by adding a pair of bold earrings, a choker, a cocktail ring, or a thick belt.
- Try to pick accessories that you feel reflect your personality. For instance, if you’re independent and rebellious, you might look for rockstar-inspired pieces, like a leather or canvas cuff bracelet, a flashy belt, or a studded choker.
- If you’re reserved and polished, you might prefer tasteful, classic jewelry, like pearl earrings, a pendant on a chain, or a nice watch.
6 Opt for natural-looking makeup if you wear any. It’s fine to use a little makeup to hide any blemishes or accentuate your favorite features. However, keep in mind that you want your crush to like you for you, so if you do wear makeup, it’s a good idea to keep it light and natural.
- For instance, for a simple everyday look, you might dot a little concealer on any blemishes and under your eyes, then fill in your brows with a brow pencil. Use your fingers to swipe a little highlighter across your cheekbones, then define your lashes by brushing on a light coat of mascara.
7 Practice taking selfies for a fun way to boost your self-image. When you have some free time at home, take a series of selfies of yourself. Practice making different faces and shoot the pictures from different angles until you find the most flattering shots. Seeing cute pictures of yourself is a great way to improve your confidence, so you’ll seem more self-assured when your crush is around.
- For a bold approach, try sending your favorite selfie to your crush. If you’re not quite ready for that, post it somewhere you know they’ll see it!
- If you choose to share your selfies on social media, just pick 1-2 of your favorites. If you share too many pictures of yourself, you might seem self-centered.
Tip: A selfie session is the perfect time to experiment with different outfits, hairstyles, and makeup techniques!

1 Smile and make eye contact when you see the person you like. Even if you’re talking to someone else, whenever you see your crush, try to glance their way to see if you can make quick eye contact. If you do meet eyes, give your crush a brief smile, then go back to what you’re doing. This will show that you’re confident and self-assured, and it will also show your crush that you noticed them.
- If you notice your crush is looking at you, make eye contact and hold their gaze for a few seconds, then smile and look away.
- Smiling can actually make you feel happier, so it might be worth it to force a smile even if you aren’t having the best day.
- Having a good sense of humor can make you seem cuter, too. When it’s appropriate, tell jokes or funny stories to get other people laughing, and don’t be shy about laughing at other people’s jokes!
2 Give your crush your full attention whenever they’re talking. Show your crush that you care about what they say by being a good listener, Whether you’re around your friends, your crush, or someone you hardly know, try to give others your undivided attention when they’re talking.
- For instance, if your crush says, “My aunt is having surgery on Thursday and I’m really worried about her,” you might text them early on Thursday to say something like, “Hey, I’m thinking about you and your family today.”
- Being a thoughtful person toward others—not necessarily just your crush—will make you seem more likable to your crush.
Tip: For an extra flirtatious approach, try leaning in close to your crush while they’re talking.
3 Compliment your crush to make them smile. Whenever you get the opportunity, try to point out when you notice something nice about the person you like, whether it’s their outfit or a great personality trait. If your crush sees that you’re generous with compliments, they may see you as a positive, kind person.
- For instance, you might say, “Jenny, I can’t believe how hard you worked on that presentation yesterday! You did so amazing!”
- You might also say something like, “Hey Chris, I love that haircut!”
4 Share your likes and dislikes with your crush to show your personality, Sometimes when you like someone, it can be tempting to try to relate to the things they like to try to impress them. However, you’ll seem more confident—and therefore more attractive—if you have your own unique interests.
- If you hate avocados and your crush loves them, don’t pretend to like them. Instead, show your independence by telling the truth. For instance, you could say, “I just can’t stand plain avocados, but I do love guacamole!”
- If you do have some of the same interests as your crush, try to focus on those, rather than things you might have different opinions on.
- It’s okay to hold a little bit about yourself back, too, so don’t feel like you have to tell your crush everything about you. Acting a little mysterious might even make your crush more interested!
5 Hang out with your crush’s friends to get to know your crush better. If you want to put yourself right in your crush’s line of sight, try making friends with people who are friends with your crush. Strike up a conversation with them in class, for instance, or sit by them while you eat lunch.
- Only do this if you actually like the other people. Otherwise, there’s a chance it could backfire, since they might annoy you or talk bad about you to your crush.
- Try not to give the impression that you might be interested in dating any of your crush’s friends! For instance, you might avoid being too physically affectionate with them, especially in front of your crush.

1 Take a deep breath if you start to feel nervous around your crush. Even if you seem cool and confident on the outside, sometimes you might notice that you get butterflies when your crush is around. Whenever you start to feel a little anxious, inhale slowly so the breath goes deep into your belly as you count to 4, then count to 4 again as you exhale.
- When you breathe deeply, it sends a signal to your body that everything is okay, so it will be easier to relax.
2 Strike a power pose around your crush to seem more confident. To have good posture when you’re sitting, try to sit up with your back straight, shoulders back, and head up. When you’re standing, place your feet about shoulder-width apart, push your shoulders back and your chest out, and hold your head high.
- If you look confident, you’ll feel more confident, and adjusting your posture is a great way to do that.
- Everybody can recognize a confident person by the way they carry themselves. In most circumstances, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, as long as you feel proud wearing it.
- Keeping your body language open is another good way to show your crush you’re interested. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, for instance, which can make you look unapproachable.
3 Use positive affirmations to help build yourself up. Spend time thinking about what makes you special. As you come up with things that you like about yourself, write them down, then repeat those things out loud to yourself. This will help boost your self-esteem, and that confidence will be visible to other people—including your crush.
- You might choose to say positive affirmations in the mirror each day as you get ready, or you might use them when you’re feeling especially vulnerable or anxious, like when your crush is around.
- For instance, you could tell yourself, “I’m smart and funny, and it’s going to be a good day!”

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Question So I’ve liked this boy at school for almost a year, and I’ve never said a word to him. He lowkey knows I do but how should I approach him? Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. Dating Coach Expert Answer Be honest about how you feel! This way, your friend can confirm if they feel the same way.
Question How do i get my crush to like me back. Heres my situation: well i kinda told him i liked him and asked him out and he said we should get to know eachother more before going out but i think he likes me Amy Gremillion Community Answer Spend time around him! Be yourself, so that way he can get a chance to get to know the real you. Then, he can decide whether he feels like you’re a good fit for each other. If he doesn’t, that’s okay—just keep being you and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to find someone to date.
Question What do u do when your crush smiles at you back Amy Gremillion Community Answer Try walking up and saying hi! If you’re feeling shy, you could also wave at them as an extra acknowledgment.

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Remember, even if your crush doesn’t like you back, it’s not a reflection on your worth as a person! It just means the two of you aren’t a good fit for each other.

Advertisement Article Summary X When you have a crush on someone, look and feel your best in front of them to really catch their eye. Keep a regular sleep schedule so you get plenty of rest, which will help you look and feel refreshed and energetic. You’ll also want to maintain your personal hygiene by showering or bathing daily, brushing and flossing your teeth regularly, and wearing deodorant.
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Grady A. Lowry