How To Make Friends In Middle School?
Have a look at some of our ideas to help you start building new friendships at school.
- Use Conversation Starters to Get Chatting.
- Spend Time with Your Friend’s Friends.
- Speak to Someone Who’s on Their Own.
- Look for Common Interests.
- Be Approachable.
- Ask Open Questions.
- 1 Can 14 and 12 be friends?
- 2 Do middle school friends last?
- 3 What age do kids make friends?
- 4 How can I find friends at 12?
Why does my 12 year old have no friends?
Dr. Wolf: My child has no friends From “Every weekend, when I know most of the kids in his grade are out doing stuff with friends, my Ryan is always home. Nobody calls him and he seems to have nobody to call. He’s a nice kid. He just doesn’t seem to have any friends.
- It breaks my heart.” One of the hardest things for a parent to watch is their teenage child seemingly having no friends.
- Week after week – when not in school – there he is in his room by himself again.
- There are many reasons why a child may not have many, or any, friends.
- She might be noticeably different, either physically or intellectually.
He may lack social skills or a have a personality that puts off others his own age. He might not share the same interests as his classmates (for example he may hate sports). Or maybe the family has moved and their teen has never been able to break into any social group.
And of course there is the phenomenon of early adolescence, where kids seemingly divide into two groups. There’s the popular kids – usually kids with outgoing personalities and advanced social skills – and then everybody else, who often feel left out. This situation has a built-in cure, for by the middle of high school, though the popular kids remain, most others have formed smaller groups based on similar interests, and these groups usually hold up through high school.
But what if it is pretty evident that your teenager just doesn’t have friends? What if you have known all along that your kid is seen as different by his peers? What can you do? Certainly you want to try to find activities where your teen might meet others his age.
Often the most available source can be school clubs. If that doesn’t pan out, you’ll want to keep trying. If your kid has poor social skills, you may want to seek out resources that provide social skills training. Again, your kid’s school can be a good resource. But often there is not an easy or fast solution, and you are stuck with the reality that your child is mainly alone.
That said, you still have an important and very useful role. First off, you need to deal with your own pain at seeing your child’s plight. Grieve, feel badly for him – but privately. Communicating your pain to him can only make him feel worse. “I don’t have any friends and I make my mother feel bad.
Now I really feel like a loser.” You need to recognize that his solitude is not necessarily a tragedy. Recognize his pain, by saying things like, “I know that maybe sometimes you feel bad being alone a lot.” But you also need to help him build a life that he can feel good about. What helps build self-esteem? Having numerous friends certainly does.
So too can having a sense of accomplishment after you’ve tried something and met success, as it creates the belief that you have the potential for a good life ahead of you. Self-esteem can also come from having hobbies you care about. No, I am not Ryan with lots of friends.
No, I am not Ryan who is really good at ice hockey. But I am Ryan who is the biggest Maple Leafs fan in the world. How do you help with this? Focus on what can build him a better life. Make sure he does as well as he can in school. Encourage him to get into activities that seem best suited to his interests and skills – a sport, a musical instrument, an artistic endeavour, a job.
Share his enthusiasm. It is a paradox, of course, because for many teens sharing anything with you is the last thing that they want. But persist. Also, though she might not always want it, be there for her as a companion. Your company may be her second choice, but it can still be an enjoyable and sustaining one.
I don’t want to play down the sadness that a teen who is often alone may feel. But I want to emphasize that it’s not necessarily a disaster. Nor does the kid himself want to see it that way. “Yeah, I miss having friends and sometimes that gets me down. But most of the time, when I am just by myself, I have a good time.
I really do. The last thing I want is to always feel sorry for myself.” Lastly, one of the most important things you can do is to reflect a joy for his life as it is, so that he may see it that way, too. While you may want to cure him of not having friends, it’s important to support him in creating an enjoyable life.
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Is it okay to not have friends in middle school?
4 Ways to Live Without Friends During School Years
- 1 Be creative. Use your free time to develop a creative skill, such as drawing, writing, sewing, or sculpting. If you’re more into tech than art, try editing pictures in Photoshop or coding your own video games. Creativity gives you an outlet for your emotions, and your skills could even help you get a job someday.
- 2 Get some exercise. Working out is a great solitary hobby that improves your mood and self-esteem, as well as your health. If you don’t want to join a sports team, try running, biking, or swimming. You can also get a gym membership and lift weights or use the cardio machines.
- If you want to work out with a buddy, you could ask a family member to play soccer or tennis with you, or take your dog for a long walk.
- Joining a sports team might feel intimidating, but it can be a great way to meet new people.
- 3 Explore your town. You don’t need a group of friends to get out of the house and enjoy yourself. If there’s a museum in town you’ve never visited or a new restaurant you’re dying to try, treat yourself to a solo day out. You can also go to the movies, shop at your favorite store, or just stroll through a park on a nice day.
- If you can, consider getting a change of scenery by taking a bus or train to a different city for a day.
- 4 Learn a new skill. Keep yourself busy by mastering something you’ve always wanted to learn. Consider studying a new language, working on your cooking skills, or taking a free online course on a subject that interests you. You’ll feel good about yourself when you make progress, and your skill might come in handy in the future, too.
- 1 Consider the reasons why you do not have friendships. Not having friends may be from a variety of different causes. Take some time to consider your reasons. Also, keep in mind that you can choose to change your situation and seek out friends if you want. Some questions you might ask yourself to determine the reason why you don’t have friends at the moment include:
- Have you undergone a significant change recently? Going away to college or moving to a new city can be part of the reason why you may not yet have friends. Likewise, having a falling out with friends can lead to isolation. Did you recently lose a friend or group of friends for some reason?
- Are you naturally introverted? If you tend to prefer your alone time to spending time with other people, then you might be an introvert. If this is the case, then not having friends may be due to a preference for solitude. However, you can still have friends and maintain your solitude.
- Have you been struggling with emotional turmoil lately? If you have been feeling down for a while and unable to motivate yourself to go out and seek friendship, then this could also be part of the reason why you don’t have friends. If so, it is important to seek help. Talk to your school counselor, someone in the counseling center at your college, or a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or religious leader.
- 2 Accept yourself the way you are. It is important to accept yourself for who you are right now. Realize that there’s nothing wrong with you for being shy, different, or just not very social. Your worth as a person isn’t determined by how many friends you have, so don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.
- If your peers try to make fun of you, stand up for yourself. Don’t get into a physical fight, but do let people know you aren’t a pushover.
- If you want to make more friends in the future, accepting yourself as you are now is an important first step.
- 3 Decide if you even want to be more social or not. Despite what society and other people might tell you, it’s perfectly okay to prefer spending time by yourself. There is nothing wrong with being quiet, introverted, and reserved. If you decide you don’t mind not having close friends, don’t let anyone tell you your preference is wrong.
- However, keep in mind that being alone all of the time is not healthy either. You may not want to be as social as other people, but having some degree of socialization is healthy.
- 4 Consider whether you might have social anxiety or another condition. If being around people makes you nervous, ask yourself whether social anxiety could be holding you back from making friends. Other conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and autism can also make it difficult to befriend others.
- If you think you have a mental health disorder, ask your parents to take you to a doctor or therapist.
- 5 See a counselor or therapist. If you feel persistently sad or hopeless, talk to your school counselor or a therapist. They can help you get to the bottom of your feelings and develop some strategies for coping socially.
- 1 Be polite and thoughtful. You don’t have to become close friends with anyone, but it’s smart to stay on good terms with your peers and teachers. Use good manners in your day-to-day life, and treat other people the way you want them to treat you.
- When you treat other people well, your peers won’t have anything to use against you, and you’ll have an easier time making friends in the future if you want to.
- 2 Join a club or group for something that interests you. High school and college provide plenty of opportunities to get involved in interesting activities. Look for programs offered by your school or community center. Participating in a club or group can be a good way to stay connected to other people without having to become close friends with them.
- For instance, you could join a science club, a book discussion group, or a sports team.
- You can also check out Meetup.com to find people who will share your interests.
- 3 Spend time with a pet. Animals can be wonderful companions, especially dogs. Some people even find that animals are better friends than people. If you don’t already have a pet, ask your parents about adopting one.
- Consider adopting a shelter dog or cat. These animals often have a hard time finding good homes, but they can make very loyal pets.
- Having a dog may also help you to break the ice when you are out walking with your dog. For example, someone might compliment your dog, and this could be a good opportunity to strike up a conversation, such as by saying, “Thank you! Do you have a dog?”
- Having a dog or cat might also provide you with something to chat about with neighbors or new acquaintances. For example, if someone brings up their pet, then you could say, “Oh, I just adopted a cat/dog myself. I really enjoy the companionship.” Then, you could show a picture of your pet and talk with the person about your pets.
- 4 Work or volunteer. Search job boards and volunteer sites on the internet for positions that interest you. Working and volunteering are good ways to get involved with your community and interact with other people regularly.
- Start small. Even a job at McDonald’s or Starbucks will help you save money for the future.
- Volunteering for a cause you care about will make you feel good, and the experience will give you a leg up when you search for jobs or apply to college.
- 5 Practice your social skills. If you’re not spending time with friends often, your social skills might be rusty. Look for opportunities to practice introducing yourself to people, keeping a conversation going, and making people feel comfortable around you.
- If you aren’t sure why you don’t have friends and you know your social skills are a bit rusty, then this could be a potential explanation. However, keep in mind that having rusty social skills is often indicative of a deeper problem, such as a fear of rejection. Talk with an adult you trust, like a parent or a teacher, to talk about why you might be having some issues with social interactions.
- 1 Act interested. If you want to make friends, there are a few tips you can follow to increase your chances of success. In general, people like to talk about themselves. So, as a rule-of-thumb, you can connect with others by asking them their stories.
- Opt for open-ended questions or statements that allow the person to share as much as they like as opposed to questions which lead to simple “yes” or “no” answers. You might ask at an event, “So, how do you know the host?” or “What kinds of things do you do for fun?”
- 2 Be an, In addition to being able to strike up the conversation and get people talking, you also need to be an active listener. Make occasional eye contact, nod in agreement, and use sounds to prompt the person to continue talking.
- Engaged listeners make great friends because many people often want to vent their problems or share their points of view. Practice being fully engaged while you are listening and be ready to respond with a statement that summarizes what you just heard.
- For example, you might say, “It sounds like you had a really rough day” to sum it up after the speaker is done talking.
- 3 Disclose something personal. Vulnerability is a necessary and truly beautiful ingredient in a friendship. Self-disclosure is one of the many things that distinguish friends from acquaintances. You might tell your friend about your parent’s divorce, but you may not share that info with a random person. Make a minor self-disclosure to show the person that you trust them.
- Think of something small you can share with the other person about yourself like “I had a pretty rough term last school year. My parents got divorced.” Then, see how they handle it to determine if the friendship goes any further.
- 4 Risk being rejected. If you’re ready to take your connection with someone to the friendship stage, you’ll have to be willing to take a risk. If you and a potential friend have been hanging out in a group setting, invite the person to a one-on-one outing. This shows that you would like to get to know them beyond the group.
- Say, “Hey, you seem really cool. Would you like to catch a movie together this Saturday?”
- Question Is it too late to make friends? Professional School Counselor Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
- Question My roommates are not my friends. What can I do? Licensed Professional Counselor Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
- Question What if I don’t have any friends?
Ask a Question Advertisement Co-authored by: Professional School Counselor This article was co-authored by, Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9).
She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards. This article has been viewed 552,071 times.
- Co-authors: 73
- Updated: September 9, 2022
- Views: 552,071
Categories: While living without friends during your school years can be tough sometimes, you don’t have to have a big social circle to be happy and productive. Instead, develop satisfying hobbies and find other ways to meet your social needs. Develop a new hobby to give your emotions an outlet, like drawing, writing, sculpting, or coding.
You can also improve your mood and self-esteem by getting some exercise, like running, swimming, or biking. If you’re still craving social time, join a club or group for something that interests you, like a book discussion group, sports team, or science club, to stay connected to other people. You can also work or volunteer to get involved with your community and interact with others on a regular basis.
To learn how to treat yourself to a fun solo day on the town, keep reading!
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 552,071 times.
“The way this article points out the advantages of being alone is beautiful. It really helps you embrace solitude by showing the variety of things people can do to build up their personal lives and discover who they are rather than relying on friends.”,”
: 4 Ways to Live Without Friends During School Years
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Can 14 and 12 be friends?
A 14-year-old can date a 12-year-old, but usually, the partner is only a year older/younger. So yes. They can be friends.
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Is it normal to have no friends at 11?
Ask the expert: My 11-year-old daughter is struggling to make friends Q My daughter is 11 and going into 6th class this September, but she is having a difficult summer. She has always found it hard to make many friends as she can be quite shy and not forward in groups.
This means she can be left out of some of the invitation lists for parties in her class. I always try not to make a big deal of this and support her the best way I can. This year, things seemed to be better because she developed a good friend from her class who lives near us so they often met for play dates.
The girl went away for the beginning of the summer and my daughter missed her. When she came back, things were different. They met up for a play date and my daughter came back a little upset. There was another girl from the class at the play date and my daughter felt left out.
The friend said something to my daughter that upset her – she would not tell me the exact words but it made my daughter think her friend preferred the older girl. Since then, my daughter has been moping around the house. I casually mentioned something to the other mother and she said she thought the play date went fine and did not notice anything.
Should I do anything to help my daughter or will it blow over? I want to make sure everything goes well for her before she starts back to school. A Though good friendships are very important to children’s wellbeing, learning how to make and keep friends is far from easy and can be a big challenge for lots of children as they grow up.
I think many of these challenges can peak at your daughter’s age, when the start of puberty brings heightened self-consciousness and sensitivity as well as an increased desire to make relationships outside the family. At 11, the pressure to fit in becomes intense and children worry about which group they are in or who really are their best friends, and so on.
In addition, during this time it is normal for children to fall in and out of friendships as they experiment and learn about relationships. This means the potential for hurt, upset and feeling excluded are high and this is especially true for young children who may not yet have learned the necessary social skills to deal with these challenges.
- While it is not a good idea to micromanage your children’s friendships, most children will need their parents’ support from time to time.
- While you can’t make decisions about friendships for your daughter, you can expose her to good friendship opportunities, help her learn social skills and be there as a supportive coach as she learns to manage the ups and downs of relationships.
Below are some ideas on how to help your daughter with her current dilemma. It is good that your daughter is talking to you about what happened with her friend, but at the moment she is not telling you all the details. It would be useful if she could tell you exactly what the friend told her so you can understand why she might have felt excluded.
- If she talks openly then you can help her put things in perspective.
- For example, she could have misinterpreted what the girl said when they met up.
- As you talk, make sure you don’t adopt a simple blaming stance towards the other girl which will only make things worse.
- Instead, the goal is to to listen supportively to help your daughter understand her own feelings and those of the other girl.
As you listen, you could also acknowledge how hard it might have been to meet her friend after a gap and how difficult it might have been to have the other girl present at the play date. In my experience, three-way or group play dates can be fraught with problems as they can make exclusion more likely, particularly at this sensitive age.
For example, you could offer to invite the friend back to your house for a one-to-one play date in the near future to allow them to reconnect and get over the last incident.Explore with your daughter how this might go well, what they might do together, and how they could simply move on from the previous incident, and so on.In additionto reaching out to the original friend, it is important to help your daughter build some other friendships.
Because of the volatile nature of changing friendships at this age, it is best if your daughter has a few potential friendship groups in different contexts. These can include the school class, neighbours, special interests, cousins and so on. This can help to ensure that she is not over-dependent on one person or one context.
Explore with your daughter other potential children she could make friends with. In my experience, children often get over-focused on one popular friend who doesn’t value them in the same way, when there are often other children they know who are more like them, and who would make better friends at this time.
You can facilitate her making new friends by taking her to interests she enjoys, reaching out to identified children’s parents, and arranging one-to-one play dates, and son on. Dr John Sharry is a social worker and psychotherapist and co-developer of the Parents Plus programmes.
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Do middle school friends last?
Benefits of Healthy Friendships – It’s only natural for tweens to make their friends a priority and, at this point in their development, they may prefer the company of their friends over the company of their parents and other family members. This should not be a concern to you, but rather something to enjoy.
Be sure you don’t make your child feel guilty for placing such importance on their friendships, it’s a normal part of the development and only means that your child is growing their circle of trust to include others outside of the family. Children need a strong network of friends at this age to help deal with life and to have fun while growing up.
Many long-lasting friendships may not only survive middle school, but they may actually grow stronger as shared experiences and common interests are discovered. Even friends who attend different schools or are a grade apart in school may still have enough in common to enjoy one another’s company.
- Dealing with school problems (such as a hard teacher or a school bully ) together
- Enjoying time together after school
- Getting another point of view when dealing with a problem
- Having someone stick up for you
- Having someone to talk to or confide in
- Keeping one another out of trouble
- Knowing you’re not going it all alone
- Sharing common interests
Is it normal to be lonely in middle school?
It’s Normal to Feel Lonely Sometimes – Some common reasons you might feel lonely include:
- Moving to a new neighborhood
- Changing schools
- Your parents are getting a divorce
- Your older brother or sister moved out
- All your friends have romantic partners and you don’t
- Fights with friends
- Being bullied
- Seeing posts on social media about activities you weren’t invited to
How many friends does the average 13 year old have?
Majorities of teens have a close friend of a different gender or a different race or ethnicity – Fully 98% of teens say they have one or more close friends: 78% say they have between one and five close friends, while 20% have six or more close friends. Just 2% of teens say they do not have anyone they consider a close friend. Similar majorities extend across various demographic groups.
- However, there is some variation on this question based on household income.
- Teens from lower-income families (those earning less than $30,000 a year) are significantly more likely than teens in other income groups to report that they do not have any close friends (7% of lower-income teens say this, compared with 1% of teens from higher-income households).
By the same token, teens from households earning more than $75,000 per year are more than twice as likely as low-income teens to say they have more than five close friends (24% vs.11%). Teens typically point to their school as an important venue for making friends – 87% say they have a close friend from their school.
Today’s teens are a part of the most racially and ethnically diverse generation in American history, and this reality is reflected in the fact that six-in-ten teens report having a close friend who is of a different racial or ethnic background than they are. A similar share of teens (61%) identify someone of a different gender as a close friend, and close to half (46%) say they have a close friend of a different religion.
Despite the prominence of school as a venue for friend formation, teens’ friendships are not confined to school campuses or local neighborhoods. Around one-third (35%) of teens say they have a close friend who lives far away, while 15% say they have a close friend they first met online. In some cases, the nature of teens’ friendships varies little based on their demographic characteristics. For instance, white, black and Hispanic teens are equally likely to say they have a close friend of a different race or ethnicity. Similarly, comparable shares of boys and girls have a close friend of a different gender.
- But in other cases, these differences are more prominent.
- Most notably, white teenagers (52%) are significantly more likely than blacks (25%) to report that they have a close friend with a different religious background.
- And mixed-gender friendships are more common among older teens: 67% of teens ages 15 to 17 have a close friend of a different gender, compared with 52% of teens ages 13 to 14.
Looking specifically at the role of the internet in the formation of close friendships, the likelihood of a teen developing a close friendship with someone they first met online varies by a number of factors. Teens ages 15 to 17 are more likely than those 13 to 14 to say they have a close friend they first met online (18% vs.11%).
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What age do kids make friends?
When will my baby start to develop friendships? Your baby will express preferences for certain people from an early age, and will express delight when they see them. You might see these preferences as young as 6 weeks. By about 6 months you should definitely see your baby taking a stronger interest in other children.
Friendships usually develop when children are around 4 years old. Building a friendship takes emotional skills, social skills and some self-control. By consistently responding to your wee one in a kind and empathetic way you’ll be developing their ability to understand themselves, and understand and be empathetic towards others.
It’s a bit like watering a seed – if you keep on watering it, it’ll eventually grow and blossom! Here are some tips for helping your baby build friendships in the future: : When will my baby start to develop friendships?
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How can I find friends at 12?
Download Article Download Article As you become a teen, the way you build friendships will change. Whether you are introverted, recently moved to a new school, or are just learning how to communicate with others, it pays to build a few crucial skills. First and foremost, you need to choose compatible friends.
- 1 Notice people in your classes. Math class might not be your favorite pastime, but it can be a great place to make friends. One of the benefits to being a teen is that you go to school with hundreds of potential friends. The people in your classes are going to be close to your age, and if nothing else, you’ll have that class in common.
- You could create a study group for a class. While you’re studying and sharing notes, you might find that you have more in common with people in the group.
- 2 Look for other teens in your neighborhood. Outside of school, you can look for people your age out in the community. Go out to places where teens often hang out (e.g. pool) or volunteer in the community. You could also get a job at popular hang out spots.
- For example, if you decide to work at the movie theater, you will probably meet quite a few people coming in and out to watch movies. An even better option might be to work as a lifeguard at a pool.
- 3 Join extracurricular activities at school. Most schools provide a host of extracurricular activities for students. Take advantage of this friend making opportunity by choosing an activity that most interests you. Chances are that other teens in the same activity will have things in common with you.
- If you are interested in music, you might want to join a band or choir. If you like to run, try joining a track team. These groups will give you opportunities to make new friends.
- 4 Go to clubs and public events in your area. Outside of school, communities often have their own groups and events for teens. Take advantage of these gatherings to give yourself the opportunity to make friends that live near you. This is a particularly good way to make friends in the summer or during other school breaks.
- For example, if your neighborhood has something like community garden club, consider joining to make new friends.
- 1 Be aware of your body language. Your body language can send the message that you are open and ready to talk to someone. It can also send the message that you’d rather be left alone. If you are nervous and uncomfortable, you may accidentally be sending messages that suggest that you’d rather be left alone than talk to people. This will discourage people from approaching you.
- For example, sitting with your arms or legs crossed gives the impression that you are closed off to other people.
- Smiling at people will signal that you notice them and are open to talking to them.
- 2 Observe their body language. Just like your body language is important, the other person’s body language can give you a hint as to how they are feeling. If they seem closed off, they may be having a bad day or not feel like talking. If they are smiling and enjoying themselves, you might have more luck approaching them.
- For example, if someone is sitting off to themselves with their arms crossed in front of them, they may not be open to being approached.
- If someone smiles at you, they may be interested in talking to you.
- 3 Make eye contact. Eye contact is important when you are trying to approach someone. If you look at them and they look away, they may be busy or not interested in talking. On the other hand, if they make eye contact with you, that is a good time to say something to them.
- For example, if you make brief eye contact with someone, reach your hand out and introduce yourself. Say something like “Hi, I’m Mike.”
- 4 Drop a quick compliment. Most people enjoy being complimented. If you are having trouble approaching people to start conversations, try dropping a compliment on strangers as you walk by. There is no need to stop and try to initiate a conversation. You could say something like:
- I love those shoes!
- Awesome hair!
- That’s a cute dog!
- 5 Ask a question. If you want to engage someone in conversation, you will do well to put the ball in their court. When you ask someone a question, they generally answer you. This is especially true if the question follows a compliment or is relative to the situation.
- For example, you might say, “Awesome hair! Who cuts it?”
- 6 Comment on the situation. You will often find yourself in social situations with people you don’t know. If you want to talk to one of them, you can start the conversation by commenting on the situation. After all, at the very least you have one thing in common – you are both in the same place.
- For example, you might say something like, “I didn’t expect there to be music here.”
- You might also try asking a question like, “So, what brings you out tonight?”
- 7 Realize that your insecurities are normal. If you feel nervous to go up and talk to strangers, you’re not alone. You should know is that almost everyone feels the same hesitation. Just realizing that these insecurities are shared by other people can help you to work through them and find the courage to talk to someone new.
- 1 Spend time with your friends. To really make and keep friendships, you have to spend time with people. Once you’ve introduced yourself and become acquainted with someone, time has to be invested to turn that into a friendship. Make it a point to hang out regularly and talk often.
- For example, you could have a tradition that you and your friends go out to eat every Saturday.
- 2 Be a good listener. Friendships are a two-way street. If you want to keep your friends, you need to be an active listener, This means that you should maintain eye contact when someone is speaking, confirm to them that you are hearing them (e.g. a nodding occasionally), and avoid interrupting.
- For example, if your friend is telling you about something that happened after school yesterday, keep eye contact with them instead of checking your phone.
- 3 Communicate in an assertive way. Keeping good friends also means that your needs are met. In order for your friends to know what you need from them, you have to be assertive (not aggressive). This means clearly stating your stance on things (such as which movie to watch), but in a respectful way.
- For example, there is no need to call someone else’s movie stupid just because it isn’t the movie you chose.
- 4 Share personal thoughts and experiences. It is important that your friends feel close to you. Sharing memories and personal experiences will help you and your friends bond. Just do not share too much too quickly. You want to be sure that you can trust your friend, and that you don’t overwhelm them.
- For example, you might tell someone you’ve known for a long time about your family conflicts, but only tell someone you’ve known for a short time about a family vacation.
- 5 Keep your friends’ secrets. Your friends are likely to confide in you as well. When they do, keep it to yourself. If you tell other people, you will betray your friend’s trust and they will not trust you as much in the future.
- The exception to this is when your friend tells you that they might hurt themselves or someone else. In that case, you should seek help for your friend.
- 6 Stay open minded. You and your friends will inevitably disagree on some things. When that happens, remember that they are your friend and that you respect them. Agree to disagree, but do not belittle your friends.
- For example, if you discover that your friend does not like the same music as you, just agree to disagree. Belittling their music or genre will just hurt your friendship.
- If your friends like different things, it might be worthwhile to try them out. You might like them, too.
- 7 Show up for your friends. One of the most important things a friend can do is show up when another friend is in need. If your friend needs someone to talk to, or help with something, you should try your best to be available. You should also expect the same treatment in return.
- For example, if a friend is going through a breakup and needs someone to talk to, be there for them.
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- Question How do I make friends if I’m really awkward? Alicia Oglesby is a Professional School Counselor and the Director of School and College Counseling at Bishop McNamara High School outside of Washington DC. With over ten years of experience in counseling, Alicia specializes in academic advising, social-emotional skills, and career counseling. Professional School Counselor Expert Answer Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer. Try joining a club at school! Pick something that you’re interested in and just hang out. You’ll make friends eventually. Joining a school organization that you’re interested in will make it a lot easier to find people with similar hobbies.
- Question Why is it so hard to make friends as a teenager? Alicia Oglesby is a Professional School Counselor and the Director of School and College Counseling at Bishop McNamara High School outside of Washington DC. With over ten years of experience in counseling, Alicia specializes in academic advising, social-emotional skills, and career counseling. Professional School Counselor Expert Answer Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer. Kids at school can be very cliquish, and a lot of kids latch on to one friend group and never let go of them. It can be a little overwhelming and scary to make friends as a teenager, but it gets a lot easier.
Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement Article Summary X If you’re a teen, making new friends might feel scary, but there are a few simple tricks that will make the entire process a lot easier.
Join extracurricular activities, which are a great way to meet friends with similar interests. Outside of school, go to a local cafe, volunteer, or go to events for teens at your local library to meet new and interesting people. When you’re ready to talk to someone, try opening with a compliment or a question.
If you feel insecure or nervous, know that you’re not alone! Approaching new people can be scary, but if you’re sincere and kind, you’re bound to make new friends. To learn how to nurture your new friendship, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 463,275 times.
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What to do if a student has no friends?
Try role-playing with him some common social situations (for example, asking if he can join in a game on the playground). Also, give him some ideas for things to talk about with classmates. You also might want to put on your social director’s hat and orchestrate his involvement with peers.
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