How To Make Friends In High School When You Are Shy?


How To Make Friends In High School When You Are Shy
2. Spend Time with Your Friend’s Friends – How To Make Friends In High School When You Are Shy Hanging out with friends of friends can be a great way to meet new people. It’s always less awkward if you have someone to introduce you and something to talk about.
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Is it OK to be shy in high school?

5 Ways to Shake Shyness

Having a shy style isn’t necessarily a problem. It’s perfectly OK to take time to warm up to new people and situations. But shyness blocks some people from being as comfortable or sociable as they’d like to be. Some people want to feel less shy so they can have more fun socializing and being themselves around others. Here are some tips for overcoming shy feelings:

  1. Start small with people you know. Practice social behaviors like eye contact, confident body language, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable around. Smile. Build your confidence this way. Then branch out to do this with new friends, too.
  2. Think of some conversation starters. Often, the hardest part of talking to someone new is getting started. Think of conversation openers, like introducing yourself (“Hi, I’m Chris, we’re in the same English class”), giving a compliment (“That jacket looks great on you”), or asking a question (“Do you know when our report is due?”). Being ready with a conversation starter (or a few) makes it easier to approach someone.
  3. Rehearse what to say. When you’re ready to try something you’ve been avoiding because of shyness — like a phone call or a conversation — write down what you want to say beforehand. Rehearse it out loud, maybe even in front of the mirror. Then just do it. Don’t worry if it’s not exactly like you practiced or if it’s not perfect. Few of the things more confident-seeming people do are perfect either. Be proud that you gave it a go. Next time, it’ll be even better because it will be easier.
  4. Give yourself a chance. Find group activities where you can be with people who share your interests. Give yourself a chance to practice socializing with these new people, and get to know them slowly. People who are shy often worry about failing or how others will judge them. Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying. If self-criticism plays a role for you, ask yourself whether you’d be this critical of your best friend. Chances are you’d be much more accepting. So treat yourself like your own best friend. Encourage yourself instead of expecting to fail.
  5. Develop your assertiveness. Because shy people can be overly concerned with other peoples’ reactions, they don’t want to rock the boat. That doesn’t mean they’re wimpy or cowardly. But it can mean they are less likely to be assertive. Being assertive means speaking up for yourself when you should, asking for what you want or need, or telling other people when they’re stepping on your toes.

Most of all, be yourself. It’s OK to try out different conversational approaches you see others using. But say and do what fits your style. Being the real you — and daring to let yourself be noticed — is what attracts friends. Reviewed by: Date reviewed: October 2020 : 5 Ways to Shake Shyness
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Why is my 16 year old so shy?

Why Some Teens Are Shy – Teens may be more likely to have unhealthy coping skills. So whereas an adult who feels shy may still greet someone or may force themselves to attend functions, shy teens may be more likely to avoid people or steer clear of optional social gatherings.

Studies show that in general, adults are more likely to be shy than teenagers. This may be because teens are usually surrounded by peers much of the time. Genetics can play a role in why some teens experience moderate or severe amounts of shyness.   Teens whose parents grew up being very shy may be more likely to experience shyness.

Life experiences can also be a factor. A teen who has had negative experiences when trying new things, speaking up, or when approaching people, may become less outgoing over time. Teens who grow up with overprotective parents may also be more likely to be shy.
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Is it normal to be shy at 15?

If you are a parent of a shy adolescent, it is common to wonder whether your teenager’s timid behavior is negatively impacting their future. A 2016 study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that about half of all teens in the United States describe themselves as shy.

  • Many parents worry whether shy behavior is limiting their child’s ability for normal development.
  • They question whether and when to push their teenager into more social interactions.
  • Shyness is a personality trait that affects an adolescent’s temperament.
  • A shy teen may be reluctant to enter some social situations or take longer to warm up to new friends.

Most adolescents feel shy at least occasionally, but can eventually adjust and enjoy participating in social activities with their peers. If the teenager’s shyness leads to avoiding new experiences, or limiting interactions with new people, it can lead to Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD).
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Is it hard for shy people to make friends?

Why Is It Difficult For Introverts To Make Friends? – One of the main reasons that introverts have a hard time making friends is that they are often seen as shy. People may not approach them because they seem uninterested or aloof. Introverts themselves may feel uncomfortable approaching a random stranger.
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How many friends does an average 15 year old have?

Nearly half of teens say they at least sometimes spend time in online groups or forums, and the types of forums they gravitate toward tend to vary by gender – How To Make Friends In High School When You Are Shy Online groups and forums allow teens and adults alike to interact with a broad pool of people who share common traits, interests and experiences. Teens and young adults in particular have access to a wide range of age-specific online forums where they can seek out health-related information, discuss political and social issues, play games with their friends or have a safe haven to explore their identity, How To Make Friends In High School When You Are Shy And although boys and girls are equally likely to ever join an online group, boys are twice as likely as girls to say they often spend time in these groups (15% vs.8%). Certain types of online groups are particularly popular among teens today. About four-in-ten teens (41%) report participating in online groups that center around hobbies such as gaming, and a similar share (40%) participates in groups with a focus on humor.

  • Around one-quarter of teens say they spend time in groups talking about pop culture, sports or fashion.
  • More modest shares – around one-in-ten – report being involved in online groups that focus on identity, politics or religion.
  • Participation in different types of online groups varies by gender; certain types of online groups are more appealing to boys than girls, and vice versa.

Boys are roughly twice as likely as girls to visit online groups centered around hobbies, including gaming or sports, whereas girls are more likely than boys to visit online groups about fashion and health and wellness, as well as groups oriented toward people with specific characteristics (such as LGBT or people of color).
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Is shyness attractive?

Shy people don’t think they’re more important than others But it is a trait that most of us find very likable and attractive in others. In fact, psychologists have consistently found that both men and women rate humility as one of the most desirable traits in a partner.
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Is shyness caused by parents?

Possible causes of shyness – Some of the possible causes of shyness, often working in combination, may include:

Genetics – aspects of personality can be decided, at least in part, by the individual’s inherited genetic makeup. Personality – emotionally sensitive and easily intimidated babies are more likely to grow up to be shy children. Learned behaviour – children learn by imitating their most influential role models: their parents. Shy parents may ‘teach’ shyness to their children by example. Family relationships – children who don’t feel securely attached to their parents or who have experienced inconsistent care-giving, may be anxious and prone to shy behaviour. Overprotective parents may teach their children to be inhibited and afraid, especially of new situations. Lack of social interaction – children who have been isolated from others for the first few years of their lives may not have the social skills that enable easy interaction with unfamiliar people. Harsh criticism – children who are teased or bullied by significant people in their lives (parents, siblings and other close family members or friends) may tend towards shyness. Fear of failure – children who have been pushed too many times beyond their capabilities (and then made to feel bad when they didn’t ‘measure up’) may have a fear of failure that presents itself as shyness.

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Why am I so shy and awkward?

We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission Here’s our process, Psych Central only shows you brands and products that we stand behind. Our team thoroughly researches and evaluates the recommendations we make on our site. To establish that the product manufacturers addressed safety and efficacy standards, we:

Evaluate ingredients and composition: Do they have the potential to cause harm? Fact-check all health claims: Do they align with the current body of scientific evidence? Assess the brand: Does it operate with integrity and adhere to industry best practices?

We do the research so you can find trusted products for your health and wellness. Social awkwardness is when you feel uncomfortable and out of place in social situations. It feels unpleasant, but being socially awkward has some benefits, too. Social situations, especially when meeting new people, can be awkward.

You may worry about saying the wrong thing, or say nothing at all while you overthink about saying the wrong thing. There might be some awkward laughing and uncomfortable silence. This is all typical from time to time. But if this is your everyday experience, it can be draining. And you’re not the only one to experience this.

According to psychologist Ty Tashiro’s book ” Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome,” around 15% of people have social skill challenges and communication difficulties that are considered to make them socially awkward.
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Why have I turned shy?

Why Are Some People Shy? – Shyness is partly a result of genes a person has inherited. It’s also influenced by behaviors they’ve learned, the ways people have reacted to their shyness, and life experiences they’ve had.

Genetics. Our genes determine our physical traits, like height, eye color, skin color, and body type. But genes also influence certain personality traits, including shyness. About 20% of people have a genetic tendency to be naturally shy. But not everyone with a genetic tendency to be shy develops a shy temperament. Life experiences also play a role. Life experiences. When people are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, how they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations. For example, if people who are shy approach new things little by little, it can help them become more confident and comfortable. But if they feel pushed into situations they don’t feel prepared for, or if they are teased or bullied, it can make them even more shy. The examples other people set can also play a role in whether a person learns to be shy or not. If the parents of a shy child are overly cautious or overprotective, it can teach the child to back away from situations that might be uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

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Does shyness go away with age?

Helping children with shyness – Shyness doesn’t always go away over time, but children can learn to be more confident and comfortable interacting with other people. These tips can help. Tips for babies and young children

Give your baby time to feel comfortable. Don’t make them go straight to an unfamiliar adult. Instead, encourage the adult to play with a toy near your child and use a calm voice.Stay with your child in social situations, like playgroups or parents groups, while encouraging them to explore. As your child gets more comfortable you can gradually move away for short periods. For example, sit on a chair with other adults while your child plays on the floor. You can move back to your child if you need to.Let your child know that their feelings are OK and that you’ll help them manage their feelings. For example, ‘I can see you feel a bit scared because you don’t know who’s at the party. Let’s look together before we walk in’.Avoid over-comforting your child. Over-comforting sends the message that you think this is a scary situation. And the extra attention might accidentally encourage your child’s shy behaviour. Praise ‘brave’ behaviour like responding to others, using eye contact, trying something new or playing away from you. Be specific in your praise. For example, ‘Quinn, I liked the way you said hello to the boy in the park. Did you notice how he smiled when you did that?’Try to model confident social behaviour so your child can watch and learn from you. For example, when someone says hello to you, always say hello back.

Tips for school-age children

Encourage playdates, either at your house or a friend’s house. If your child is invited to a friend’s house, they might feel more comfortable if you go with them at first. You could gradually reduce the time you spend with your child at other people’s houses.Start with social situations that involve just 1-2 other children and build up to interactions with a larger group of children over time.Practise show-and-tell or class presentations with your child at home. This will help your child feel more comfortable when they have to stand up in front of their class.Encourage your child to do some extracurricular activities. Try to find ones that encourage social behaviour – for example, Scouts, Girl Guides or a team sport.Coach your child before social gatherings so they know what to expect – for example, ‘People are going to want to talk with you today. Remember to look at Uncle Dan when he’s talking. If you don’t, he might think you’re not listening to him’.Avoid negative comparisons with more confident siblings or friends. Build your child’s self-esteem by encouraging even small steps towards being less shy.

If other people say your child is ‘shy’, it’s OK to correct them gently in front of your child. For example, ‘Lou takes a little while to warm up. Once they’re comfortable they’ll be happy to play’. This sends the message that you understand how your child feels, and they can deal with the situation when they’re ready.
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Are people born shy?

– About 15 percent of infants are born with a tendency toward shyness. Research has shown biological differences in the brains of shy people. But a propensity for shyness also is influenced by social experiences. It’s believed that most shy children develop shyness because of interactions with parents.

  1. Parents who are authoritarian or overprotective can cause their children to be shy.
  2. Children who aren’t allowed to experience things may have trouble developing social skills.
  3. A warm, caring approach to rearing children usually results in them being more comfortable around others.
  4. Schools, neighborhoods, communities, and culture all shape a child.
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Connections a child makes within these networks contribute to their development. Children with shy parents may emulate that behavior. In adults, highly critical work environments and public humiliation can lead to shyness.
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How to be shy in high school?

How to Be Shy at School: 15 Steps (with Pictures)

  1. 1 Be meek. To be meek means to be quiet, or to have a kind of gentle demeanor. Even though these are traits of a shy person, they can also be good qualities to possess. Meekness can lend itself to approachability, which can actually make you appear more marketable during things like job interviews in the future. Keep to yourself, especially if there is any kind of drama going on. Be humble and kind, and don’t let your ego get inflated.
    • Even if your goal is to keep people at a distance and not interact much with others, it still pays to practice being approachable for the future when it will pay off in your favor.
  2. 2 Avoid speaking too much. In class, you might sit closer to the back of the room and keep to yourself. Avoid raising your hand and volunteering during class discussions. If people are hanging out and talking in the hall, don’t join in. The less you speak up, the more shy you’ll appear.
    • Don’t let acting shy make you also appear rude. Don’t blatantly ignore someone if they speak to you, especially if it’s a teacher or person of authority.


  3. 3 Avoid participating at events or activities outside school. Shy people tend to stay away from social situations. Shy people can be socially awkward sometimes, and gathering in groups can be a source of anxiety. You can choose to not attend these events, but if you do go, keep to yourself at them. Sit quietly by yourself. You could bring a book to read or play on your phone. This will make you appear shy.
    • Events like parties, pep rallies, and sporting events are usually full of people being loud and crazy, so if you want to appear shy, you’ll want to act the opposite.
  4. 4 Let other people start conversations. Shy people have trouble initiating conversations. If you want to act shy, don’t approach people and start conversations. Let others talk first, whether one-on-one or in groups.
    • Shy people also have trouble keeping conversations going. Keep your conversations short and to the point.
  5. 5 Keep a small circle of friends. Since many shy people have difficulty getting close with people, try to only keep a few good friends that you spend time with regularly. Having a huge group of friends might make you come off as a popular or outgoing person, which isn’t really what you’re going for.
    • Feel free to act more like yourself around these close friends. Just because you want to act shy at school doesn’t mean you’ll want to cut yourself off from having any meaningful relationships at all.
  6. 6 Keep a book with you at school. Keeping your nose in a book when you’re in social situations can help you appear shy. It will make you look studious, rather than just socially awkward sitting there silently doing nothing. If you keep a novel with you to read at lunchtime, for example, it can help you keep to yourself.
  7. 7 Keep to yourself in class. As mentioned, you’ll want to avoid participating in class discussions, and only answer if the teacher calls on you directly. If the class breaks up to do group work, hang back on your own and do your own work. If you must be part of a group, do your work quietly and keep your eyes down on your paper.
    • Don’t avoid speaking to the teacher if they call on you. You don’t want to end up getting scolded or in trouble because you are acting shy.
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  1. 1 Wear muted or neutral colors. Rather than wearing bright or neon colors, wear lighter, more neutral tones. These tones are usually black, white, shades of brown, or even gray. These colors are far less likely to stand out in a crowd. Shy people want to blend in rather than stand out, so neutral clothing colors are a way to do that.
    • The advantage to stocking your closet with neutrals is that they are great universal colors. On days you want to stand out a little more, or maybe when you’re outside of school, these neutrals will pair well with brighter colors in outfits.
  2. 2 Avoid wearing flashy prints. Again, the goal is to blend in rather than stand out. Loud or flashy prints on your clothing don’t do a very good job at helping you blend in. Try to stick to solid colors, or simple prints like horizontal stripes. Consider avoiding t-shirts with logos, band names, or any other writing. These things could act as conversation starters, or reasons for strangers to approach you and ask about what’s printed on your shirt.
  3. 3 Wear simple outfits. Keep your hemlines modest, and try not to show too much skin. Try comfortable cardigans, simple jeans, and plain shoes. Try to avoid layering on accessories like costume jewelry. If you wear makeup, keep it to a minimum. Stick to neutral and natural colors.
    • Fashion is a quick way to draw attention to yourself. From the colors and prints of your clothing to how you style it, it’s best to always lean towards the muted, and subtle side of things when trying to act shy.
  4. 4 Keep a simple, traditional hairstyle. If you’re trying to blend in, dying your hair bright pink or putting it in a mohawk won’t really help your case. Keep your haircut simple and traditional, like a bob for girls or a simple crew cut for guys. Anything that doesn’t really stand out is a good option.
    • You still want to feel comfortable and good about yourself, so you’ll still want to pick a hairstyle you actually like!
  5. 5 Keep it modest. If you’re trying to act shy in a way that makes you come across as cute, then you’ll want to make sure the clothes you choose are modest. A cute, shy person wouldn’t wear revealing clothing. This kind of clothing would end up drawing attention to you rather than diverting it. A shy person in modest clothing can appear cute, approachable, and innocent.
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  1. 1 Avoid too much eye contact. When walking in the hallways, making eye contact, especially with people you know, could result in them starting a conversation. A shy person will want to avoid this. Keep your eye contact to a minimum so you can keep to yourself. Not looking at people is a sign to them that you aren’t interested in talking or interacting.
    • If you’re at lunch and want to be left alone, consider reading a book or doing homework. This way, you won’t find yourself looking around and end up inviting attention or unwanted conversation.
  2. 2 Keep some distance between yourself and other people. Even in crowded school hallways, try to keep to yourself physically. Shy people are sometimes made anxious by being physically close to other people. By keeping some distance between yourself and others, you’ll also be sending the message that you don’t want to interact with them.
    • If you are talking to someone, don’t stand close. Keep a few feet between your bodies. This will send a signal to the other person that you’re ready to leave at any moment, and they might end the conversation sooner.
  3. 3 Fold your arms. Folding your arms across your body is a defensive signal in body language. It’s sort of like you’re trying to protect yourself from the outside world, which is exactly what a shy person would do. Folded arms generally mean someone doesn’t want to be approached.
    • Remember: you’re trying to look shy, not bold or irritated. Fold your arms loosely, sort of like you’re giving yourself a hug, rather than folding them tightly and looking assertive. Keeping your shoulders a bit slouched and your head down will also help.
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  • Question How can I be shy and cute? Licensed Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). Try being quieter, stay in the background, and be more agreeable and less dominant. Appreciate others and their ideas.
  • Question How do I overcome social anxiety and shyness? Licensed Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). Social anxiety and shyness are different things. Shyness is sometimes a developmental thing or a personality thing, and the person is generally accepting of it. With social anxiety, contact with others is terrifying and painful and causes a lot of worry.
  • Question How do I stop being shy at school? Licensed Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). Try to start conversations with one person at a time. During lunchtime, don’t look down into a book; make eye contact with others to be more inviting. And say “yes” when someone asks you to join them for a conversation, class project, or have lunch.

Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by, Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.

  • Co-authors: 33
  • Updated: November 13, 2022
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 77,894 times.

“I was always chattering out of fear. This taught me to show others that I am afraid, and I don’t want to talk to anyone, which allowed me to have more meaningful friendships with people like myself. Thanks to the writer!”,”

: How to Be Shy at School: 15 Steps (with Pictures)
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Is it good to be quiet at school?

The Big Benefits of Classroom Quiet Time How To Make Friends In High School When You Are Shy Did you know that designated quiet time in the classroom yields mental and physical health benefits to both students and teachers? In fact, a 2015 study showed that just 15 minutes of quiet free time provided to high school students improved their mental health over the course of a school year.

  • Compared to their classmates, students that participated in quiet time had decreased anxiety and increased resilience against stressors.
  • These students also reported that they slept better, had more confidence and felt happier overall.
  • Quiet time for educators can be as simple as having coffee without any devices or a full meditation routine.

Either way, it’s been proven that moments of silence have many health benefits, such as increased focus, cognition and creativity, lower blood pressure, reduced muscle tension and improved communication skills. Teachers can enjoy quiet time at their or right alongside their students on,

For students’ quiet time, the right furnishings can make all the difference. Comfortable areas that feature or maximize the physical and mental health benefits. A comfortable let’s them sink into a book or get a bit of writing done, for example. Calming classroom rugs adorned with pastel or summer fireflies allow students to sit, lean or lay while they enjoy the silence.

Feeling safe and relaxed during quiet time gives the mind a real break, which in turn helps our brains navigate busy schedules and manage multiple tasks without adding undue stress or anxiety. Building a quiet reading space can be as easy as finding the right or creating a classroom reading corner with a theme that encourages creative thought while reading, writing and drawing.

  • For students of any age, surrounding lounge areas with books using standard or invites kids to read something new during their quiet time.
  • The child-sized holds plenty of books and lets students read while they relax on a cushioned mat.
  • Paired with a and a bit of blue or white construction paper, any classroom reading corner can feel like an undersea adventure.

Going outside is another way to use quiet time to recharge students and provide inspiration. Combine mindfulness with a bit of physical activity by taking advantage of school grounds with a class walk or by finding a spot to simply relax on the grass or on,

Absorbing the sights and sounds of nature for a few moments can be an important counterbalance to the world of screens and schedules both kids and adults experience. Having an effective quiet time means letting go a bit so your brain can relax. Across all ages quiet time can improve focus and allow time for reading, drawing, resting or any other simple and silent activities.

Whether it’s leaning against some pillows while drawing on a or picking up a new story in a, with just 15 minutes of quiet time educators and students can have lifelong benefits. Have questions? We’re here to help! Our experts are available by phone at,

  1. You can also get personalized assistance through our or by us.
  2. We’re available Monday-Friday, 8am-7pm.
  3. Sources Wendt, S., Hipps, J., Abrams, A. et al.
  4. Practicing Transcendental Meditation in High Schools: Relationship to Well-being and Academic Achievement Among Students.
  5. Contemp School Psychol 19, 312–319 (2015).

“What Is Quiet Time?” Responsive Classroom, 24 Oct.2017,, “An Ode to Silence: Why You Need It in Your Life.” Health Essentials, Cleveland Clinic, 7 Oct.2020,, : The Big Benefits of Classroom Quiet Time
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Is it attractive to be shy?

Shy people don’t think they’re more important than others But it is a trait that most of us find very likable and attractive in others. In fact, psychologists have consistently found that both men and women rate humility as one of the most desirable traits in a partner.
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Is it ok to be a little shy?

Shyness is usually associated with being quiet, insecure, and/or socially anxious, Being shy is not necessarily bad. We can all feel shy from time to time, so it’s alright to feel a little uncomfortable in new situations and with new people. If being shy is something you’d like to work on, there are ways to overcome these challenges, so you can still be shy and achieve your goals,

Some people are born more shy than others. Sometimes you can grow out of shyness and sometimes it can stay with you. Shyness is generally associated with new situations and can often pass; it can also attribute to the people you hang out with. For instance, you might feel shy on your first day of school or starting a new job where you don’t know anyone.

Over time you might start to make friends and your shyness may start to go away as you become more comfortable and confident in your new situation or with new people. Here are some situations where you might find yourself being more prone to shyness :

Public speaking, e.g. class presentations Speaking to someone you think is attractive Meeting new people Going to a new place Eating and drinking in public Exams Performing Talking to someone important, e.g. your boss or principal Job interviews

Quietly and passively Avoiding eye contact Avoiding social situations Speaking quietly Nervous behaviors, such as touching your hair or face a lot, tapping your toes on the ground, clicking a pen over and over, biting your nails etc.

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