How To Make Friends In High School And Become Popular?
Five tips for making friends in high school
- Tip 1: Be yourself. You don’t have to be a grandiose figure or social media influencer for people to like you.
- Tip 2: Try new things.
- Tip 3: Find common interests.
- Tip 4: Take opportunities to talk to new people.
- Tip 5: Be approachable.
- 0.1 What makes someone popular in high school?
- 0.2 Is it OK to not have friends in high school?
- 1 Why does my 16 year old have no friends?
- 2 What age do you stop making friends?
- 3 Why do my friends leave me out?
How do 17 year olds make friends?
5 Simple Tips To Make Friends Should you need urgent health advice please contact your GP or call NHS 111. In an emergency please visit A&E or call 999 Select your location for up-to-date news and information in your local area Making friends can be a little overwhelming and daunting for some people You have opportunities to make friends at every stage of your life, so being able to make friends easily is a helpful skill to develop. Hopefully these 5 simple tips will help you: You shouldn’t have to change who you are to make friends; trying to be someone else all the time is exhausting! Just be yourself and let others see the real you. A good friend will like you for who you are, and if they don’t, then they are not the type of friend that you want to have. Sometimes, meeting people can be difficult. Trying new hobbies or interests that get you out and about, helping you meet new people. This could involve volunteering locally, or joining a club at school or outside of school. Even simply saying ‘hello’ is a great way to start a conversation with someone. You could also try conversation starters, such as giving a compliment. For example, ‘I love your jacket, where’s it from?’ Try and keep the conversation going by asking open questions (those which invite people to say more than just ‘yes’ or ‘no’) as this will help you find out a bit more about the other person. From talking to someone, you may find out that you have similar interests or hobbies. Using this can help build a friendship as you have something in common that you can discuss or do together. Friendships take time and effort, but a good friendship will be worth the effort. Showing willingness to stay in touch will help build upon the friendship. You can also use this to get to know them better or arrange to meet up and do something. If you have any more questions on this area or would like to speak to somebody about this topic, have a look at the links or search for your local services in the blue box below.
Remember: Making new friends can be difficult and sometimes results in rejection. When this happens, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault or that you are a bad friend, it could simply be that that person was having a bad day or has different interests to you.
- Don’t let this put you off making new friends, even if you had a bad experience, as not everyone will be like this.
- Find out what services are available to you in your area.
- Remember your school nurse is always there to give you confidential help and support.
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What makes someone popular in high school?
‘Popular’ Kids Aren’t That Special In school, “popularity” is a slippery concept, with kids falling in and out of it for no apparent reason. The hierarchies of middle and high school can be as mystifying years later as they were at the time. But researchers have been studying “popularity” in a systematic way for a while now, and one question they’ve dug into is to what degree the actions and customs of kids considered to be popular dictate what everyone else does.
- In other words, how much is the rest of the school trying to be like the popular kids? What researchers tend to find is that, yes, popular kids do shape the behavior of the broader student body—but only to a point.
- Mitch Prinstein, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina and the author of, is familiar with these dynamics.
Research that he and others have done suggests that popular kids, predictably, have a good amount of influence over what Prinstein calls “relatively inconsequential things,” such as the music peers listen to and the clothes they wear., they also hold sway in the realms of sex, alcohol, and drugs.
Their influence is not necessarily negative, though that is the stereotype: The powers of the popular crowd, like volunteering or helping classmates who are having a hard time. If the cool kids do it, others might do it too. “The popular kids aren’t always pushing people to do bad things,” Prinstein told me.
Popular kids, of course, are not the only groups that middle and high schoolers look to when deciding how to be and what to do—they also take cues from their parents, their friends, the media, and so on. Prinstein and his research collaborators looked at how much of an influence these various constituencies held, and, he said, “what we find is that the popular kids aren’t the strongest influencers—it’s actually, really interestingly, that kids’ own attitudes and behaviors tend to fall almost exactly in the middle of what their parents tell them to do and what their best friends tell them to do.” He says that when he gives lectures to crowds of parents, he’ll often tell them, “You’ve got 50 percent of influence to use every day.” Close friends, then, seem to be a more powerful influence than popular kids.
But one arrived at a finding that adds some nuance to this: The research, by Tim Malacarne, currently a visiting professor of data science and sociology at Mount Holyoke College, indicated that the behaviors of students at the center of a high-school social network were no more influential than those of a randomly chosen peer when it came to predicting how likely any given student was to drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes.
Malacarne, though, was using a different definition of popularity—one based on who was friends with the people who had the most friends—because the data set he was using didn’t record students’ subjective assessments of who in their grade was popular.
His statistical model of popularity was an attempt to approximate those subjective assessments, though it more directly measures social connectedness than “coolness” or “popularity.” Interestingly, Malacarne found that the habits of the most well-connected people in that model seemed not to have an outsize impact on what their peers did.
Perhaps instead, as Malacarne speculates in the paper, “central individuals are influential, but as judges of behavior rather than models of it.” He also wonders, he told me, if his analytical method would detect different patterns when it comes to behaviors not accounted for in the data set he was working with—say, what clothes kids choose to wear.
- But social connectedness is not necessarily the same thing as popularity, and Prinstein pointed out to me that it matters a lot how a researcher defines who’s popular.
- Friendship reflects a close, dyadic relationship that includes companionship, emotional intimacy, et cetera,” he said.
- Popularity is not a relationship-based construct—it is reputation-based.
You can be very popular and have only a few people believe they are friends with you.” Usually, the two main determinants of “reputation-based” popularity in high school, according to Prinstein, are aggressiveness (“unfortunately, in order to make seem high on the totem pole, a lot of kids and adults sometimes try and belittle others”) and physical attractiveness.
- But he’s also found that a community’s own value system matters a lot.
- In communities where it’s very religious, then maybe your parents’ level of status at the church, for instance, might be an important determinant Whereas it might be the kid who is really high-achieving in a very academically oriented community,” he said.
Whatever definition one goes by, the social landscape of high school seems to matter well after graduation. Prinstein noted that even well into adulthood, the popular kids (in terms of “status and cool and everything”) are to have relationship problems, struggle with addiction, and get fired from their jobs.
- Meanwhile, being “high in likability” in adolescence is “a remarkable array of outcomes” later on, including higher pay and better health.
- There are these completely opposite outcomes for the two types of popularity,” he said.
- I think that this is something that people don’t spend a lot of time talking about.
Sometimes they even dismiss it as being just a superfluous adolescent thing, but it’s not,” Prinstein observed. “A lot of long-term studies have demonstrated pretty long-term effects that seemed to be related to how kids got along with their peers.” High school, in a sense, never really ends.
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Is it OK to not have friends in high school?
4 Ways to Live Without Friends During School Years
- 1 Be creative. Use your free time to develop a creative skill, such as drawing, writing, sewing, or sculpting. If you’re more into tech than art, try editing pictures in Photoshop or coding your own video games. Creativity gives you an outlet for your emotions, and your skills could even help you get a job someday.
- 2 Get some exercise. Working out is a great solitary hobby that improves your mood and self-esteem, as well as your health. If you don’t want to join a sports team, try running, biking, or swimming. You can also get a gym membership and lift weights or use the cardio machines.
- If you want to work out with a buddy, you could ask a family member to play soccer or tennis with you, or take your dog for a long walk.
- Joining a sports team might feel intimidating, but it can be a great way to meet new people.
- 3 Explore your town. You don’t need a group of friends to get out of the house and enjoy yourself. If there’s a museum in town you’ve never visited or a new restaurant you’re dying to try, treat yourself to a solo day out. You can also go to the movies, shop at your favorite store, or just stroll through a park on a nice day.
- If you can, consider getting a change of scenery by taking a bus or train to a different city for a day.
- 4 Learn a new skill. Keep yourself busy by mastering something you’ve always wanted to learn. Consider studying a new language, working on your cooking skills, or taking a free online course on a subject that interests you. You’ll feel good about yourself when you make progress, and your skill might come in handy in the future, too.
- 1 Consider the reasons why you do not have friendships. Not having friends may be from a variety of different causes. Take some time to consider your reasons. Also, keep in mind that you can choose to change your situation and seek out friends if you want. Some questions you might ask yourself to determine the reason why you don’t have friends at the moment include:
- Have you undergone a significant change recently? Going away to college or moving to a new city can be part of the reason why you may not yet have friends. Likewise, having a falling out with friends can lead to isolation. Did you recently lose a friend or group of friends for some reason?
- Are you naturally introverted? If you tend to prefer your alone time to spending time with other people, then you might be an introvert. If this is the case, then not having friends may be due to a preference for solitude. However, you can still have friends and maintain your solitude.
- Have you been struggling with emotional turmoil lately? If you have been feeling down for a while and unable to motivate yourself to go out and seek friendship, then this could also be part of the reason why you don’t have friends. If so, it is important to seek help. Talk to your school counselor, someone in the counseling center at your college, or a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or religious leader.
- 2 Accept yourself the way you are. It is important to accept yourself for who you are right now. Realize that there’s nothing wrong with you for being shy, different, or just not very social. Your worth as a person isn’t determined by how many friends you have, so don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.
- If your peers try to make fun of you, stand up for yourself. Don’t get into a physical fight, but do let people know you aren’t a pushover.
- If you want to make more friends in the future, accepting yourself as you are now is an important first step.
- 3 Decide if you even want to be more social or not. Despite what society and other people might tell you, it’s perfectly okay to prefer spending time by yourself. There is nothing wrong with being quiet, introverted, and reserved. If you decide you don’t mind not having close friends, don’t let anyone tell you your preference is wrong.
- However, keep in mind that being alone all of the time is not healthy either. You may not want to be as social as other people, but having some degree of socialization is healthy.
- 4 Consider whether you might have social anxiety or another condition. If being around people makes you nervous, ask yourself whether social anxiety could be holding you back from making friends. Other conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and autism can also make it difficult to befriend others.
- If you think you have a mental health disorder, ask your parents to take you to a doctor or therapist.
- 5 See a counselor or therapist. If you feel persistently sad or hopeless, talk to your school counselor or a therapist. They can help you get to the bottom of your feelings and develop some strategies for coping socially.
- 1 Be polite and thoughtful. You don’t have to become close friends with anyone, but it’s smart to stay on good terms with your peers and teachers. Use good manners in your day-to-day life, and treat other people the way you want them to treat you.
- When you treat other people well, your peers won’t have anything to use against you, and you’ll have an easier time making friends in the future if you want to.
- 2 Join a club or group for something that interests you. High school and college provide plenty of opportunities to get involved in interesting activities. Look for programs offered by your school or community center. Participating in a club or group can be a good way to stay connected to other people without having to become close friends with them.
- For instance, you could join a science club, a book discussion group, or a sports team.
- You can also check out Meetup.com to find people who will share your interests.
- 3 Spend time with a pet. Animals can be wonderful companions, especially dogs. Some people even find that animals are better friends than people. If you don’t already have a pet, ask your parents about adopting one.
- Consider adopting a shelter dog or cat. These animals often have a hard time finding good homes, but they can make very loyal pets.
- Having a dog may also help you to break the ice when you are out walking with your dog. For example, someone might compliment your dog, and this could be a good opportunity to strike up a conversation, such as by saying, “Thank you! Do you have a dog?”
- Having a dog or cat might also provide you with something to chat about with neighbors or new acquaintances. For example, if someone brings up their pet, then you could say, “Oh, I just adopted a cat/dog myself. I really enjoy the companionship.” Then, you could show a picture of your pet and talk with the person about your pets.
- 4 Work or volunteer. Search job boards and volunteer sites on the internet for positions that interest you. Working and volunteering are good ways to get involved with your community and interact with other people regularly.
- Start small. Even a job at McDonald’s or Starbucks will help you save money for the future.
- Volunteering for a cause you care about will make you feel good, and the experience will give you a leg up when you search for jobs or apply to college.
- 5 Practice your social skills. If you’re not spending time with friends often, your social skills might be rusty. Look for opportunities to practice introducing yourself to people, keeping a conversation going, and making people feel comfortable around you.
- If you aren’t sure why you don’t have friends and you know your social skills are a bit rusty, then this could be a potential explanation. However, keep in mind that having rusty social skills is often indicative of a deeper problem, such as a fear of rejection. Talk with an adult you trust, like a parent or a teacher, to talk about why you might be having some issues with social interactions.
- 1 Act interested. If you want to make friends, there are a few tips you can follow to increase your chances of success. In general, people like to talk about themselves. So, as a rule-of-thumb, you can connect with others by asking them their stories.
- Opt for open-ended questions or statements that allow the person to share as much as they like as opposed to questions which lead to simple “yes” or “no” answers. You might ask at an event, “So, how do you know the host?” or “What kinds of things do you do for fun?”
- 2 Be an, In addition to being able to strike up the conversation and get people talking, you also need to be an active listener. Make occasional eye contact, nod in agreement, and use sounds to prompt the person to continue talking.
- Engaged listeners make great friends because many people often want to vent their problems or share their points of view. Practice being fully engaged while you are listening and be ready to respond with a statement that summarizes what you just heard.
- For example, you might say, “It sounds like you had a really rough day” to sum it up after the speaker is done talking.
- 3 Disclose something personal. Vulnerability is a necessary and truly beautiful ingredient in a friendship. Self-disclosure is one of the many things that distinguish friends from acquaintances. You might tell your friend about your parent’s divorce, but you may not share that info with a random person. Make a minor self-disclosure to show the person that you trust them.
- Think of something small you can share with the other person about yourself like “I had a pretty rough term last school year. My parents got divorced.” Then, see how they handle it to determine if the friendship goes any further.
- 4 Risk being rejected. If you’re ready to take your connection with someone to the friendship stage, you’ll have to be willing to take a risk. If you and a potential friend have been hanging out in a group setting, invite the person to a one-on-one outing. This shows that you would like to get to know them beyond the group.
- Say, “Hey, you seem really cool. Would you like to catch a movie together this Saturday?”
- Question Is it too late to make friends? Professional School Counselor Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
- Question My roommates are not my friends. What can I do? Licensed Professional Counselor Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
- Question What if I don’t have any friends?
Ask a Question Advertisement Co-authored by: Professional School Counselor This article was co-authored by, Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
- She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor.
- She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University.
- Atie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9).
She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards. This article has been viewed 552,071 times.
- Co-authors: 73
- Updated: September 9, 2022
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Categories: While living without friends during your school years can be tough sometimes, you don’t have to have a big social circle to be happy and productive. Instead, develop satisfying hobbies and find other ways to meet your social needs. Develop a new hobby to give your emotions an outlet, like drawing, writing, sculpting, or coding.
You can also improve your mood and self-esteem by getting some exercise, like running, swimming, or biking. If you’re still craving social time, join a club or group for something that interests you, like a book discussion group, sports team, or science club, to stay connected to other people. You can also work or volunteer to get involved with your community and interact with others on a regular basis.
To learn how to treat yourself to a fun solo day on the town, keep reading!
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 552,071 times.
“The way this article points out the advantages of being alone is beautiful. It really helps you embrace solitude by showing the variety of things people can do to build up their personal lives and discover who they are rather than relying on friends.”,”
: 4 Ways to Live Without Friends During School Years
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What makes a girl popular in high school?
Download Article Download Article So you’re sitting in class. You look around you. You see a group of girls sitting near each other laughing, and having fun. You’re alone, once again, at your desk feeling sad and left out. If you want to be and feel as much admired as those girls, continue reading!
- 1 Be amicable and remain true to yourself. An important key to gaining popularity is to remain friendly and optimistic, as it can cause you to appear confident and draw people towards you. Make positive comments about others and be willing to help your classmates, but remember to take care of yourself as well. Additionally, when necessary, express your true feelings and thoughts in an appropriate manner. Although being amicable can be a vital element to building a strong reputation, you should be cautious about reining in too many emotions for the sake of maintaining an optimistic appearance. Otherwise, you may eventually appear fake to others or pile unnecessary stress and pressure upon yourself.
- 2 Build confidence. Even if you may feel insecure, appearing self-assured of yourself increases the chances of gaining attention, approval, and perhaps admiration. Small changes, such as straightening your posture and walking with long, quick strides, can transform your appearance and cause you to appear confident.
- A great way to build confidence is calling a friend or loved one and asking them what they like about you and what they think you best traits are. Hearing those positive reinforcements can really help you feel confident and great about yourself.
- 3 Befriend different people. A good way to gain attention and get gals and guys talk to you is to become friendly with your classmates, as well as people outside of your class. Although it may not be possible to become close friends with everyone, you can try to at least be on amicable terms with the majority of your class so that they think of you in a positive manner.
- Even if you dislike someone, remain polite and neutral so that they cannot accuse you of being negative.
- When maintaining friendships, remember to be realistic and avoid overwhelming yourself with too many meetings and events.
- Depending on how many friends you have, you may not be able to see them every day, so do your best to spread your time among them.
If you cannot spend a lot of time with certain friends, be sure to at least stop and ask how they are doing so that they do not feel abandoned or left out.
- Use these friendships to build a healthy support system for yourself, which can help you feel more fulfilled, happy, and balanced.
- Family members, therapists, and coaches can also be a part of this support system.
- 4 Have a pleasant, relaxed personality. You can try being open and friendly towards others, as long as you are comfortable. Furthermore, while you should not erase your personality for the sake of popularity, assess yourself and decide if there are any highly negative habits that may upset your reputation. For instance, if you have a tendency to be overly loud around others or spread rumors, you can do your best to stop doing that.
- 5 Remain updated about gossip, Although you should not partake in spreading rumors or become heavily involved in others’ personal lives, you can keep an ear out for gossip so that you know about current events in your school. However, avoid blackmailing your classmates, tearing down their character, or fishing too frequently for gossip; otherwise, your reputation may be tarnished, and others might view you in a negative light. Advertisement
- 6 Maintain your grades. Although it can be easy to ignore your studies in favor of fun, you should remember your priorities. You are in school to gain an education so that you are well-prepared and equipped for a future career which can lead towards success. Your current surroundings and social circles will not last forever, so it is important to prepare for the future. Furthermore, having good grades will boost your reputation, cause you to appear intelligent, and perhaps prompt people to seek your assistance.
- 7 Use social media. Presenting a positive image of yourself online can help you gain people’s approval and give them a better idea of your personal identity. Follow your classmates and friends so that they may follow you in return. Post appropriate images that reflect your personality and interests, and be sure to include various pictures so that they are new and unique.
- Look at other popular girls’ accounts for inspiration. Based on the style of their pictures, what are your first impressions of the person? If you are pleased with their style, think of a way that you can imitate it while remaining as original as possible. Avoid completely copying someone; otherwise, people may label you as a copycat.
- If you want to, edit your pictures. However, experience and hours of editing isn’t necessary, especially since you can simply find a nice filter to enhance your images. Be sure that you keep your editing as light as possible so that your natural beauty shines through, allowing others to see you as you truly are.
- Try not to become absorbed by social media or allow your life to revolve around it. Allow yourself to take a break from it, and avoid spending too much time with the camera.
- Be careful about who you share your pictures with, as well as what you post. For instance, avoid posting your location or landmarks that will allow people to determine your whereabouts. Furthermore, remember that your pictures represent your personality, affect your reputation, and can be spread by others. Do not allow unknown people to follow you, especially if they do not attend your school.
- 1 Maintain your health and physical appearance. A well-balanced, organic diet can help boost your health while leaving space for some treats, such as candy and chips. Protein and calcium are important. Although you should eat what you like, remember to maintain control over your eating habits and avoid frequently consuming high-fat, unhealthy foods. To get a better idea of how you eat, you can start a food diary to mark down your food while planning future meals. If you want, you can also look up healthy recipes to try. To remain fit, be sure to exercise for at least thirty minutes a day. If you have a tight schedule, you can split the time up into three ten-minute sessions. Running, yoga, sports, walking your dog, or dancing are all good ways to remain active.
- 2 Have good hygiene. Maintain basic habits, such as daily showers, brushing and flossing your teeth, and keeping your face clean with cleanser, toner, and moisturizer.
- 3 Have smooth skin. Wash your face every day with a face wash. Put a moisturizing face cream on every time after you wash your skin. Do not put Vaseline or sticky body cream on your face.
- 4 Accessorize. Popular girls care about their appearance, so to make your fashion or outfit even more cute by wearing some accessories. Don’t be afraid to go for a nice long necklace or maybe even five skinny brackets. Even check in magazines to check the popular trends.
- 5 Have gorgeous hair. Cutting it short is cute, or if you want long hair, you can do more things with it. It depends on whether you want it short or long. If you want, get some highlights or colored streaks. Make sure they look good on you. Side bangs and layers are good too.
- Hair is a massive part of your look. If your hair is naturally straight, straighten it further so that it is perfectly straight and then see the look of shock on other people’s faces when you inform them it’s naturally that style! If your hair is naturally curly or wavy, you can enhance that too or straighten it if that is what you want, not changing who you are. At school, carry around with you or have in your locker a giant hairbrush so that you can brush your hair with a minimum amount of strokes at a time, creating the illusion that your hair is always perfect.
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- If you’re going to wear makeup, only wear eye shadow, mascara, concealer, BB cream, powder, bronzer, blush, lipstick or even shiny lip gloss.
- If you wear a school uniform, just do the accessories and shoe part.
- If you have crooked teeth, consider braces.
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- Don’t tell others what you are going to wear. Most of the time when these girls ask what you are wearing, it’s to brag to you about what they are wearing, so with a few dull descriptive words they will quickly get bored and you can ask them back. Try to always be the one asked.
- Be prepared for the haters and know it’s because they are jealous of you.
- Don’t wear anything inappropriate for your school dress code, even if your school doesn’t have one, dressing like that looks very trashy, not good.
- If bullying gets physical, tell an adult as soon as possible.
Advertisement Article Summary X If you want to become the most popular girl in your class, be friendly and optimistic, which will draw others to you. While it might not be possible to be good friends with everyone in your class, be nice to everyone so you’re thought of in positive terms.
- Another way to gain attention is to appear self-assured by straightening your posture, maintaining eye contact, and speaking in a confident tone.
- If you want to use social media to boost your image, make sure to post appropriate images that reflect your personality and interests.
- Instead of a series of selfies, take pictures of your pets, delicious meals, friends, and social gatherings.
To learn how to maintain good grades to become more popular in school, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 309,112 times.
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Why does my 16 year old have no friends?
Dr. Wolf: My child has no friends From “Every weekend, when I know most of the kids in his grade are out doing stuff with friends, my Ryan is always home. Nobody calls him and he seems to have nobody to call. He’s a nice kid. He just doesn’t seem to have any friends.
It breaks my heart.” One of the hardest things for a parent to watch is their teenage child seemingly having no friends. Week after week – when not in school – there he is in his room by himself again. There are many reasons why a child may not have many, or any, friends. She might be noticeably different, either physically or intellectually.
He may lack social skills or a have a personality that puts off others his own age. He might not share the same interests as his classmates (for example he may hate sports). Or maybe the family has moved and their teen has never been able to break into any social group.
And of course there is the phenomenon of early adolescence, where kids seemingly divide into two groups. There’s the popular kids – usually kids with outgoing personalities and advanced social skills – and then everybody else, who often feel left out. This situation has a built-in cure, for by the middle of high school, though the popular kids remain, most others have formed smaller groups based on similar interests, and these groups usually hold up through high school.
But what if it is pretty evident that your teenager just doesn’t have friends? What if you have known all along that your kid is seen as different by his peers? What can you do? Certainly you want to try to find activities where your teen might meet others his age.
Often the most available source can be school clubs. If that doesn’t pan out, you’ll want to keep trying. If your kid has poor social skills, you may want to seek out resources that provide social skills training. Again, your kid’s school can be a good resource. But often there is not an easy or fast solution, and you are stuck with the reality that your child is mainly alone.
That said, you still have an important and very useful role. First off, you need to deal with your own pain at seeing your child’s plight. Grieve, feel badly for him – but privately. Communicating your pain to him can only make him feel worse. “I don’t have any friends and I make my mother feel bad.
Now I really feel like a loser.” You need to recognize that his solitude is not necessarily a tragedy. Recognize his pain, by saying things like, “I know that maybe sometimes you feel bad being alone a lot.” But you also need to help him build a life that he can feel good about. What helps build self-esteem? Having numerous friends certainly does.
So too can having a sense of accomplishment after you’ve tried something and met success, as it creates the belief that you have the potential for a good life ahead of you. Self-esteem can also come from having hobbies you care about. No, I am not Ryan with lots of friends.
- No, I am not Ryan who is really good at ice hockey.
- But I am Ryan who is the biggest Maple Leafs fan in the world.
- How do you help with this? Focus on what can build him a better life.
- Make sure he does as well as he can in school.
- Encourage him to get into activities that seem best suited to his interests and skills – a sport, a musical instrument, an artistic endeavour, a job.
Share his enthusiasm. It is a paradox, of course, because for many teens sharing anything with you is the last thing that they want. But persist. Also, though she might not always want it, be there for her as a companion. Your company may be her second choice, but it can still be an enjoyable and sustaining one.
I don’t want to play down the sadness that a teen who is often alone may feel. But I want to emphasize that it’s not necessarily a disaster. Nor does the kid himself want to see it that way. “Yeah, I miss having friends and sometimes that gets me down. But most of the time, when I am just by myself, I have a good time.
I really do. The last thing I want is to always feel sorry for myself.” Lastly, one of the most important things you can do is to reflect a joy for his life as it is, so that he may see it that way, too. While you may want to cure him of not having friends, it’s important to support him in creating an enjoyable life.
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How many friends does a 16 year old have?
16 Ways to Make Friends in High School & College RIGHT NOW | How to be Popular in School
Majorities of teens have a close friend of a different gender or a different race or ethnicity – Fully 98% of teens say they have one or more close friends: 78% say they have between one and five close friends, while 20% have six or more close friends. Just 2% of teens say they do not have anyone they consider a close friend. Similar majorities extend across various demographic groups.
- However, there is some variation on this question based on household income.
- Teens from lower-income families (those earning less than $30,000 a year) are significantly more likely than teens in other income groups to report that they do not have any close friends (7% of lower-income teens say this, compared with 1% of teens from higher-income households).
By the same token, teens from households earning more than $75,000 per year are more than twice as likely as low-income teens to say they have more than five close friends (24% vs.11%). Teens typically point to their school as an important venue for making friends – 87% say they have a close friend from their school.
- Today’s teens are a part of the most racially and ethnically diverse generation in American history, and this reality is reflected in the fact that six-in-ten teens report having a close friend who is of a different racial or ethnic background than they are.
- A similar share of teens (61%) identify someone of a different gender as a close friend, and close to half (46%) say they have a close friend of a different religion.
Despite the prominence of school as a venue for friend formation, teens’ friendships are not confined to school campuses or local neighborhoods. Around one-third (35%) of teens say they have a close friend who lives far away, while 15% say they have a close friend they first met online. In some cases, the nature of teens’ friendships varies little based on their demographic characteristics. For instance, white, black and Hispanic teens are equally likely to say they have a close friend of a different race or ethnicity. Similarly, comparable shares of boys and girls have a close friend of a different gender.
- But in other cases, these differences are more prominent.
- Most notably, white teenagers (52%) are significantly more likely than blacks (25%) to report that they have a close friend with a different religious background.
- And mixed-gender friendships are more common among older teens: 67% of teens ages 15 to 17 have a close friend of a different gender, compared with 52% of teens ages 13 to 14.
Looking specifically at the role of the internet in the formation of close friendships, the likelihood of a teen developing a close friendship with someone they first met online varies by a number of factors. Teens ages 15 to 17 are more likely than those 13 to 14 to say they have a close friend they first met online (18% vs.11%).
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What age do you stop making friends?
It happens to all of us as we move through life: Our circle has slowly started migrating to another city, we have gone through one or two big life transitions ourselves, or maybe we’ve outgrown a number of friendships. A 2020 study conducted by Cigna revealed that 61 percent of Americans, or three in five adults, reported feeling lonely — a 7-percent increase from 2018.
- The data doesn’t lie: We are hungry for deep, meaningful connections.
- But what makes adult friendships — and cultivating meaningful adult friendships — increasingly more difficult to establish than they were at a younger age? There are a slew of factors: competing responsibilities, work (and in the United States, overwork), big moves and life transitions, the time that’s required to maintain healthy romantic partnerships and raise a family, and then there’s the lack of trust from those who have been scathed by friends before.
As author of We Should Get Together and Connected From Afar and connection coach Kat Vellos puts it in an email interview, “Our ability to develop intimacy in a world dominated by impatience and short attention spans, Even when people want to have more fulfilling friendships, many folks feel flummoxed about how to turn an acquaintance into a BFF.” Danielle Bayard Jackson, a licensed educator and friendship coach, was working among high-powered, career-focused women at large companies and noticed how often the conversations began leaning toward friendship — or the lack of it.
That’s when I made the connection of, oh my gosh, this is an issue at every stage. At every stage, we’re trying to figure out how to navigate friendship,” she says. Research tells us that, for both men and women, the age of 25 is when most of us start losing friends. “Suddenly, your friends disappear, or you all start taking new life directions as you graduate from college,” Jackson says.
“You adopt new values. And so, you look up, and you think, ‘Where did all my people go?'” So, what are some tangible things you can do if you’re in need of some new friends?
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Is it OK for a 18 to be friends with a 15?
Absolutely, if they have similar interests. Friendship has more to do with interests than just age. If you’re wondering if they should date?
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Can 21 and 16 be friends?
Yes, people of all ages can be friends. Friendships are not bound by age, but know your limits. People of all age groups can share common interests.
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Why don’t I make friends easily?
Download Article Download Article If you’re struggling with the fact that you don’t make friends easily, accepting the situation can make it easier to cope – and to change for the better. You might even realize you’re happy with your personality and your social circle just the way they are.
- 1 Stop beating yourself up. Worrying about your social life won’t change anything, so try to relax. Think positively instead of punishing yourself with negative thoughts, You’ll have an easier time attracting friends if you’re kind to yourself.
- For instance, stop telling yourself things like, “I can’t talk to people.” Replace those thoughts with something like, “It’s OK to feel nervous around new people sometimes.”
- 2 Realize that not everyone has to like you. You can’t please everybody, and if you try, you might lose what makes you uniquely likable. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to be friends with you. It just means you weren’t a good fit for each other. Advertisement
- 3 Look at the friendships you see around you. It might seem like everyone you know has a happy, thriving social life – but look again. Plenty of friendships aren’t as healthy as they seem on the surface. When you notice the imperfections in other people’s relationships, you’ll be less likely to hold yourself to an impossible social standard.
- For instance, some friendships are based on convenience instead of mutual liking. In other friendships, one person is using the other for attention, popularity, or money.
- 4 Be aware that not everyone is naturally social. Some people are more extroverted, meaning they get energy from being around others and tend to be loud and outgoing. Other people are more introverted, meaning they like to spend time alone and may find extensive social interaction exhausting and possibly difficult.
- Introverted people tend to be reflective, creative, and value deep relationships. Introverts can still be social and charming, just in a different way. They may prefer quieter, more intimate discussions, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
- Keep in mind that personality is a spectrum, and most people fall somewhere between extraversion and introversion.
- It’s also important to realize that many friendly, outgoing people weren’t born that way. Plenty of people have improved their social skills through practice, and you can do the same if you want to.
- 5 Decide whether you want to change. Ask yourself whether you’re happy the way you are. Maybe you value friend quality over friend quantity. If so, there’s no need to change anything, no matter what other people might say. If you do decide you want to change, that’s okay too – just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not to please others.
- Many shy or introverted people feel perfectly content with a small circle of friends. Not everyone has to be outgoing and chatty.
- 1 Make a list of your positive traits. Build your confidence by writing down the personal qualities you’re proud of. Keep these traits in mind when you start to feel critical of yourself or shy around other people.
- If you want to make more friends, think about your qualities that make you a good friend. For instance, maybe you’re compassionate, accepting, and trustworthy.
- 2 Spot what’s getting in the way of you making friends. Be honest with yourself and think about what goes wrong when you try to make friends. It’s not much fun to analyze your flaws, but once you know why making friends is hard for you, you’ll be able to change your behavior.
- A few common issues that make it hard to find friends include shyness, social anxiety, complaining a lot, and expecting too much from new acquaintances.
- If you’re not sure why you struggle to make friends, ask someone you trust for their perspective. Make sure you’re prepared to hear the answer, though.
- 3 Turn weaknesses into strengths. Instead of trying to get rid of your flaws, look for ways to turn them around. Using these traits to your advantage is usually easier than trying to change your whole personality.
- If you’re not very talkative, for instance, you could practice being a more active listener, so people feel comfortable opening up to you.
- 4 Learn to enjoy your own company. Become more secure in yourself by getting comfortable with spending time alone. Pick up some solo hobbies that you look forward to doing on a regular basis. During quiet moments, take the opportunity to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and hopes for the future.
- When you’re comfortable being alone, you’ll feel better about yourself no matter how many friends you have. You’ll also be less likely to rush into unhealthy friendships just for the sake of having friends.
- 1 Be friendly and positive. Put a smile on your face when you go out, even if you feel nervous. Treat other people with courtesy and thoughtfulness. Instead of complaining, put a positive spin on your comments. Other people will like being around you if you’re upbeat and happy.
- 2 Get involved in activities you enjoy. If you’re shy about meeting new people, start by getting out of the house and doing things you like. Breaking the ice with someone new is easier when you can connect over an activity or a shared interest.
- For instance, you could join a group related to one of your hobbies, volunteer for a cause you care about, or sign up for a competition.
- 3 Rely on the people around you for support. You may already have a stronger support network than you realize. People like parents, teachers, coaches, and siblings can support and inspire you as you build up your strengths. Make time for the people you care about, and don’t be too shy to ask for help and advice when you need it.
- 4 Choose your friends carefully. Don’t rush to befriend people you just met. Get to know people slowly, and invest your time and energy into those who care about you and treat you well. It’s better to have one close, trustworthy friend than it is to have many shallow friendships.
Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement Article Summary X It can be hard if you don’t make friends easily, but by accepting who you are you can build a social life that you enjoy.
It’s important that you don’t beat yourself up about not making friends easily, as worrying about it won’t change anything. Know that it’s completely normal for not everyone to like you because you can’t please everyone. Try to figure out what’s getting in the way of you making friends and work on this.
Maybe it’s shyness, social anxiety, or that you expect too much from new acquaintances. To try and make some friends, get involved in activities you enjoy, like volunteering for a cause you’re passionate about or joining a hiking club. For more tips from our Counselor co-author, like how to choose your friends carefully, read on! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 220,883 times.
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Do high school best friends last?
4 Things You Should Know About Friendships After High School As we move on to new chapters in our lives, there will be big changes happening to each and every one of us. Whether some of us are going to college, a trade school, the military, etc., it is important to know that not everyone has the same path, and some friends will part ways.
- After high school, reality and adulthood hit many people very hard.
- In most cases, your friends become busy, you become busy, and those unbreakable bonds are put to the ultimate test once school is over.
- Of course, not all of your friendships will end, there are some that will continue long after high school, but people do go their separate ways and that is totally okay.
No matter what, the bonds you build with people will always matter and have an impact on your life, but life after high school is an entirely different ballgame. Here are 4 things to keep in mind as you and your friends graduate from high school:
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How many friends does the average person have?
In general, based on 2021 survey data, the average person in America has between 3 and 5 close friends. According to this survey: almost half (49%) report having 3 or fewer close friends. over one-third (36%) report having between 4 and 9 close friends.
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Why do my friends leave me out?
#6 Check that you clearly expressed your availability – Often getting left out can result from simple miscommunications:
- Maybe your friends thought you were too busy with your job to go shopping on a weekday.
- Perhaps you accidentally texted them the wrong date or time for an event, and they planned something else without you.
- Maybe you just forgot to confirm a clear “yes” or “no” to an invite.
Action Tip: To avoid being left out, make sure you are clearly communicating when you have free time to hang out. Better yet, create your plans and invite them. Send your friends a quick text on a group chat about an open window of time that you’d like to make plans for. ↑ Table of Contents ↑
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How long does it usually take to make friends in high school?
How Long Does It Take to Make a Friend? Making friends can be daunting, something I after moving to a new city. You might hit it off with an acquaintance, but what’s the next step? And how long does it take to move past “getting to know you”? Unfortunately, there’s no manual for this crucial life skill. Hall surveyed 112 college students every three weeks during their first nine weeks at a Midwestern university. He also gave a one-time questionnaire to 355 American adults who had moved to a new city in the past six months. In these surveys, the newcomers picked a friend or two and reported how much time they spend together, what activities they do, and how close the friendship is (how emotionally close and committed they feel, and how much they admire their friend’s unique traits).
It takes students 43 hours and adults 94 hours to turn acquaintances into casual friends. Students need 57 hours to transition from casual friends to friends. Adults need, on average, 164 hours. For students, friends became good or best friends after about 119 hours. Adults need an additional 100 hours to make that happen.
“Everyone wants to have friends, but you can’t have friends without making them,” says Hall. “Making friends takes time.” Why does it take adults so much more time to make friends than students? Hall speculates that there might be something about student life that facilitates friendship—perhaps the close quarters of college living fosters fast connections.
- It could also be that college students overestimate how deep their friendships are.
- But time on its own does not breed intimacy.
- It depends how we spend that time, as Hall found when he analyzed what activities friends did together.
- Talking, it turns out, can be hit or miss.
- In general, spending more time talking didn’t make student or adult friends feel closer.
But student friends did tend to be chummier when they engaged in certain types of talking—namely, catching up about their lives, talking playfully, having serious conversations, and showing love, attention, and affection. Student friends who engaged in small talk—about current events, pets, sports, movies, or music—actually tended to become more distant over time.
- Shared activities don’t always help us bond, either.
- For study participants, spending time together on shared interests or projects—such as traveling or exercising, partying or shopping, joining teams or groups, or going to church—didn’t seem to move the needle on feelings of closeness.
- Nor did spending time together at work or school, places you’re obligated to be anyway.
But a few activities were more common in closer friendships: relaxing and hanging out and (for adults) watching movies and playing video games. In other words, much as we might wish for one, there may be no set formula for making a friend. Ultimately, this research underscores that friendship is an investment.
- Time spent with one potential comrade is time you can’t spend with another, and those hours matter.
- For students who were able to turn an acquaintance into a casual friend or a friend into a good friend during the study, they (on average) doubled their number of hours in that person’s company.
- Meanwhile, they spent half as much time with other friends, and those friendships didn’t evolve.
“You have to work on the ones that count,” says Hall. “Time spent together, especially leisure time, can be thought of as an investment toward future returns on,” That investment can take months, as I saw firsthand. As Hall points out, friendship isn’t a one-sided endeavor.
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How many friends should you have in high school?
There’s no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What’s more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
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