How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School?

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How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School
5. Help your child recognize possible friends. – Your child may not recognize the kid who could be a friend. Talk about who your child likes to spend time with, either at school or outside of it. Point out who they talk about in positive ways. Sometimes kids aim to be friends with kids who have very different values.
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Why does my middle schooler has no friends?

Dr. Wolf: My child has no friends From “Every weekend, when I know most of the kids in his grade are out doing stuff with friends, my Ryan is always home. Nobody calls him and he seems to have nobody to call. He’s a nice kid. He just doesn’t seem to have any friends.

It breaks my heart.” One of the hardest things for a parent to watch is their teenage child seemingly having no friends. Week after week – when not in school – there he is in his room by himself again. There are many reasons why a child may not have many, or any, friends. She might be noticeably different, either physically or intellectually.

He may lack social skills or a have a personality that puts off others his own age. He might not share the same interests as his classmates (for example he may hate sports). Or maybe the family has moved and their teen has never been able to break into any social group.

And of course there is the phenomenon of early adolescence, where kids seemingly divide into two groups. There’s the popular kids – usually kids with outgoing personalities and advanced social skills – and then everybody else, who often feel left out. This situation has a built-in cure, for by the middle of high school, though the popular kids remain, most others have formed smaller groups based on similar interests, and these groups usually hold up through high school.

But what if it is pretty evident that your teenager just doesn’t have friends? What if you have known all along that your kid is seen as different by his peers? What can you do? Certainly you want to try to find activities where your teen might meet others his age.

Often the most available source can be school clubs. If that doesn’t pan out, you’ll want to keep trying. If your kid has poor social skills, you may want to seek out resources that provide social skills training. Again, your kid’s school can be a good resource. But often there is not an easy or fast solution, and you are stuck with the reality that your child is mainly alone.

That said, you still have an important and very useful role. First off, you need to deal with your own pain at seeing your child’s plight. Grieve, feel badly for him – but privately. Communicating your pain to him can only make him feel worse. “I don’t have any friends and I make my mother feel bad.

Now I really feel like a loser.” You need to recognize that his solitude is not necessarily a tragedy. Recognize his pain, by saying things like, “I know that maybe sometimes you feel bad being alone a lot.” But you also need to help him build a life that he can feel good about. What helps build self-esteem? Having numerous friends certainly does.

So too can having a sense of accomplishment after you’ve tried something and met success, as it creates the belief that you have the potential for a good life ahead of you. Self-esteem can also come from having hobbies you care about. No, I am not Ryan with lots of friends.

  1. No, I am not Ryan who is really good at ice hockey.
  2. But I am Ryan who is the biggest Maple Leafs fan in the world.
  3. How do you help with this? Focus on what can build him a better life.
  4. Make sure he does as well as he can in school.
  5. Encourage him to get into activities that seem best suited to his interests and skills – a sport, a musical instrument, an artistic endeavour, a job.

Share his enthusiasm. It is a paradox, of course, because for many teens sharing anything with you is the last thing that they want. But persist. Also, though she might not always want it, be there for her as a companion. Your company may be her second choice, but it can still be an enjoyable and sustaining one.

I don’t want to play down the sadness that a teen who is often alone may feel. But I want to emphasize that it’s not necessarily a disaster. Nor does the kid himself want to see it that way. “Yeah, I miss having friends and sometimes that gets me down. But most of the time, when I am just by myself, I have a good time.

I really do. The last thing I want is to always feel sorry for myself.” Lastly, one of the most important things you can do is to reflect a joy for his life as it is, so that he may see it that way, too. While you may want to cure him of not having friends, it’s important to support him in creating an enjoyable life.
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What to do when your child has no friends at school?

Give your child opportunities to practice social skills as often as you can. Extracurriculars outside of the school day can be a great way for children to connect with peers that share their same interests. Encourage your child to take up a sport, join a club, play a new instrument, etc.
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Should a 12 year old have friends?

Now Is the Right Time! – As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your child’s/teen’s success. Helping your child/teen grow healthy friendships is essential. Through relationships, your 12-year-old child/teen develops a sense of belonging.

They come to better understand themselves through their interactions with you, their teachers, and their peers. Children/teens age 12 are in the process of carving out their identity, and their measuring stick is often their peers’ opinions and approval. This directly impacts their self-awareness.1 Whereas, in their earlier years, you defined their identity through your reflections, guidance, and stories, now peers will provide valuable input as your child/teen attempts to figure out what they are passionate about and what kind of person they are becoming.

Not surprisingly, children/teens who feel a sense of belonging and connection to their peers have a greater sense of wellbeing today and in the future. And, it’s not about the quantity of friends but about the quality. Research that examined teen relationships at the ages of 15 and 16 showed that those with one close friend rather than a large group (with fewer intimate relationships) reported higher self-worth and lower levels of anxiety and depression.2 But, friendships require time and care.

Research also reveals that it takes about 50 hours to develop a casual friendship and more than 200 hours to develop a close friendship.3 So, when your child/teen is spending hours doing a whole of lot of – what you might deem – nothing with their pal, you can rest assured that the time spent with friends can be a nurturing source of support and growth.

Yet, there are challenges. “She’s always staring at me. I must look weird. Or maybe she just hates me,” you may hear from your eleven-year-old. You may feel like these comments are suddenly coming out of nowhere, but, in fact, this is a normal, healthy step in your child’s/teen’s development.

This newfound ability to see from another’s perspective can be compared to wearing new glasses — though you can clearly see better, you are still adjusting to your new perspective. You may see flaws on your face that were never apparent before. You may also miscalculate what you think you are seeing and fall down a number of times before adjusting.

Your children/teens can become highly self-conscious as they learn about and attempt to explore the thoughts and feelings of their peers. They begin to hear and may even invent criticisms of their character, their appearance, and their interests, fearing the worst — rejection.
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How many friends should a 12 year old have?

Every child is different – Dr. Busman notes there is also a difference between children who are shy and children who are simply more introverted and prefer spending their down time reading or drawing by themselves. “Different children in the same family can have different social limits and degrees of comfort.

  • A child who prefers quiet time or being in small groups isn’t necessarily avoiding other kids.” But it’s essential that more introverted children still get opportunities to make friends. Dr.
  • Busman recommends knowing how much your child can handle and setting expectations accordingly.
  • It’s enough for some kids to find just one thing they like to do once a week.
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Finally, it’s important that parents not place too many of their own social expectations on children. Dr. Rooney advises keeping things in perspective. “Kids need just one or two good friends. You don’t have to worry about them being the most popular kid in their class.”
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Why does my child lack social skills?

Social Skills Problems In Children – Treatments & Symptoms How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School Social skills allow us to create and maintain healthy and satisfying relationships, they help us to know what to say, make good decisions, and how to behave in different social situations. Being skilled in social interactions leads to increased success in academic performance, behavior, social and family relationships, and involvement in extracurricular activities.

  1. While we can all have awkward social moments, children and adolescents with social skill weaknesses routinely have trouble connecting with people and making and keeping friends.
  2. For these children, learning to get along with others is challenging, whether at school, in sports, or with friends.
  3. If you notice your child displaying issues with social skills at a young age, our can help them improve these skills before they get too difficult to manage.

Symptoms seen in children with weak social skills can include difficulty in any or all of the following three steps involved in social interaction:

Doesn’t understand facial expressions or body languageIs a poor listener and looses the point of what is being saidHas little interest in social interactionsNot noticing rejection actions by others

Is overly literal and doesn’t get sarcasmDoesn’t know how to properly greet people, request information or gain attentionHas difficulty with perspective taking

Shares information in inappropriate waysInterrupts or blurts out answersConstantly moves arounds and fidgetsGoes off-topic or monopolizes conversationsDoesn’t adapt language to different situations or people

Children and adolescents can show weaknesses in social skills due to a variety of factors, and deficiencies can become more apparent as children age and social landscapes become more complex. Weak social skills are commonly found in children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Non-verbal Learning Disability (NVLD), and Social Communication Disorder (SCD).

  • Environmental factors, past failures, anxiety or depression can also play a role for some children.
  • Many children do not outgrow their weakness in social environments, but social skills training can be effective in improving strategies and creating better social interactions.
  • Social skills group can offer kids and teens a safe place to learn and practice social skills with peers, striving to create a more “natural” social interaction.

: Social Skills Problems In Children – Treatments & Symptoms
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Why is my child not making friends at school?

Why Kids Have Trouble Making Friends

How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School If a child is lonely, offer to play. Choose something both of you enjoy, like doing a puzzle or going on a hike. Try to get others, like friends and family, to pinch-hit as playmates too. How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School Some kids have trouble making friends because they haven’t had a chance to make them. Head to a local playground. Throw a ball around or play a game, and see if others join. How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School Sometimes, kids get stuck in a rut in their own neighborhood. Offer a fresh start by introducing them to new kids. Try a library, a park, or another spot you haven’t been to. How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School Some kids find it easier to make friends while playing online video games or on social media. Make sure to monitor what kids do online so it’s safe. How To Help Your Child Make Friends In Middle School Most schools have a daily lunch group of kids, either in person or virtual, hosted by a teacher to jump-start friendships.

Why do some kids not have friends? This can be a painful question to ask. When kids aren’t invited places or don’t have anyone to hang out with, it can be hard not to wonder — and worry. Making and keeping friends is a skill. Some kids develop it naturally at a young age, while others need more time.

In some cases, kids simply haven’t met anyone they can connect with. Different challenges can also get in the way. Some kids get too nervous or anxious to talk to others. Some can start a conversation, but they have trouble coming up with things to talk about. Or they might talk about something other kids aren’t interested in, without noticing the other kids tuning out.

When kids struggle with making friends, it might not have anything to do with their personality. It also doesn’t mean that a child isn’t likeable or funny. It may just mean the child needs a hand building social skills.
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What happens when a child grows up without friends?

As argued, socially isolated children are at increased risk of health problems in adulthood. Furthermore, studies on social isolation have demonstrated that a lack of social relationships negatively impacts the development of the brain’s structure.
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At what age do kids start making good friends?

How do young children make friends? – How young children make friends will depend on their age and development, Toddlers don’t have the skills yet to make friends and are likely to play with the children you introduce them to. At this age, some toddlers will be more social than others.

  1. At 3 years old, children often meet others at playgroup or child care and may be able to name their friends and want to play with them.
  2. Sometimes children this age don’t have a clear idea who their friends are.
  3. By age 4, children usually have friends at preschool or day care.
  4. They can tell the difference between a friend and other children they know.

Some find it easier to make friends than others. Your child might love interacting with other children, or they may be quieter and prefer to watch rather than join in. Many play with different children every day. Children can have different types of friendships, including best friends, friends they play with in a group, or imaginary friends,
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Is it OK to have no friends in middle school?

4 Ways to Live Without Friends During School Years

  1. 1 Be creative. Use your free time to develop a creative skill, such as drawing, writing, sewing, or sculpting. If you’re more into tech than art, try editing pictures in Photoshop or coding your own video games. Creativity gives you an outlet for your emotions, and your skills could even help you get a job someday.
  2. 2 Get some exercise. Working out is a great solitary hobby that improves your mood and self-esteem, as well as your health. If you don’t want to join a sports team, try running, biking, or swimming. You can also get a gym membership and lift weights or use the cardio machines.
    • If you want to work out with a buddy, you could ask a family member to play soccer or tennis with you, or take your dog for a long walk.
    • Joining a sports team might feel intimidating, but it can be a great way to meet new people.

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  3. 3 Explore your town. You don’t need a group of friends to get out of the house and enjoy yourself. If there’s a museum in town you’ve never visited or a new restaurant you’re dying to try, treat yourself to a solo day out. You can also go to the movies, shop at your favorite store, or just stroll through a park on a nice day.
    • If you can, consider getting a change of scenery by taking a bus or train to a different city for a day.
  4. 4 Learn a new skill. Keep yourself busy by mastering something you’ve always wanted to learn. Consider studying a new language, working on your cooking skills, or taking a free online course on a subject that interests you. You’ll feel good about yourself when you make progress, and your skill might come in handy in the future, too.
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  1. 1 Consider the reasons why you do not have friendships. Not having friends may be from a variety of different causes. Take some time to consider your reasons. Also, keep in mind that you can choose to change your situation and seek out friends if you want. Some questions you might ask yourself to determine the reason why you don’t have friends at the moment include:
    • Have you undergone a significant change recently? Going away to college or moving to a new city can be part of the reason why you may not yet have friends. Likewise, having a falling out with friends can lead to isolation. Did you recently lose a friend or group of friends for some reason?
    • Are you naturally introverted? If you tend to prefer your alone time to spending time with other people, then you might be an introvert. If this is the case, then not having friends may be due to a preference for solitude. However, you can still have friends and maintain your solitude.
    • Have you been struggling with emotional turmoil lately? If you have been feeling down for a while and unable to motivate yourself to go out and seek friendship, then this could also be part of the reason why you don’t have friends. If so, it is important to seek help. Talk to your school counselor, someone in the counseling center at your college, or a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or religious leader.
  2. 2 Accept yourself the way you are. It is important to accept yourself for who you are right now. Realize that there’s nothing wrong with you for being shy, different, or just not very social. Your worth as a person isn’t determined by how many friends you have, so don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.
    • If your peers try to make fun of you, stand up for yourself. Don’t get into a physical fight, but do let people know you aren’t a pushover.
    • If you want to make more friends in the future, accepting yourself as you are now is an important first step.
  3. 3 Decide if you even want to be more social or not. Despite what society and other people might tell you, it’s perfectly okay to prefer spending time by yourself. There is nothing wrong with being quiet, introverted, and reserved. If you decide you don’t mind not having close friends, don’t let anyone tell you your preference is wrong.
    • However, keep in mind that being alone all of the time is not healthy either. You may not want to be as social as other people, but having some degree of socialization is healthy.
  4. 4 Consider whether you might have social anxiety or another condition. If being around people makes you nervous, ask yourself whether social anxiety could be holding you back from making friends. Other conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and autism can also make it difficult to befriend others.
    • If you think you have a mental health disorder, ask your parents to take you to a doctor or therapist.
  5. 5 See a counselor or therapist. If you feel persistently sad or hopeless, talk to your school counselor or a therapist. They can help you get to the bottom of your feelings and develop some strategies for coping socially.
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  1. 1 Be polite and thoughtful. You don’t have to become close friends with anyone, but it’s smart to stay on good terms with your peers and teachers. Use good manners in your day-to-day life, and treat other people the way you want them to treat you.
    • When you treat other people well, your peers won’t have anything to use against you, and you’ll have an easier time making friends in the future if you want to.
  2. 2 Join a club or group for something that interests you. High school and college provide plenty of opportunities to get involved in interesting activities. Look for programs offered by your school or community center. Participating in a club or group can be a good way to stay connected to other people without having to become close friends with them.
    • For instance, you could join a science club, a book discussion group, or a sports team.
    • You can also check out Meetup.com to find people who will share your interests.
  3. 3 Spend time with a pet. Animals can be wonderful companions, especially dogs. Some people even find that animals are better friends than people. If you don’t already have a pet, ask your parents about adopting one.
    • Consider adopting a shelter dog or cat. These animals often have a hard time finding good homes, but they can make very loyal pets.
    • Having a dog may also help you to break the ice when you are out walking with your dog. For example, someone might compliment your dog, and this could be a good opportunity to strike up a conversation, such as by saying, “Thank you! Do you have a dog?”
    • Having a dog or cat might also provide you with something to chat about with neighbors or new acquaintances. For example, if someone brings up their pet, then you could say, “Oh, I just adopted a cat/dog myself. I really enjoy the companionship.” Then, you could show a picture of your pet and talk with the person about your pets.
  4. 4 Work or volunteer. Search job boards and volunteer sites on the internet for positions that interest you. Working and volunteering are good ways to get involved with your community and interact with other people regularly.
    • Start small. Even a job at McDonald’s or Starbucks will help you save money for the future.
    • Volunteering for a cause you care about will make you feel good, and the experience will give you a leg up when you search for jobs or apply to college.
  5. 5 Practice your social skills. If you’re not spending time with friends often, your social skills might be rusty. Look for opportunities to practice introducing yourself to people, keeping a conversation going, and making people feel comfortable around you.
    • If you aren’t sure why you don’t have friends and you know your social skills are a bit rusty, then this could be a potential explanation. However, keep in mind that having rusty social skills is often indicative of a deeper problem, such as a fear of rejection. Talk with an adult you trust, like a parent or a teacher, to talk about why you might be having some issues with social interactions.
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  1. 1 Act interested. If you want to make friends, there are a few tips you can follow to increase your chances of success. In general, people like to talk about themselves. So, as a rule-of-thumb, you can connect with others by asking them their stories.
    • Opt for open-ended questions or statements that allow the person to share as much as they like as opposed to questions which lead to simple “yes” or “no” answers. You might ask at an event, “So, how do you know the host?” or “What kinds of things do you do for fun?”
  2. 2 Be an, In addition to being able to strike up the conversation and get people talking, you also need to be an active listener. Make occasional eye contact, nod in agreement, and use sounds to prompt the person to continue talking.
    • Engaged listeners make great friends because many people often want to vent their problems or share their points of view. Practice being fully engaged while you are listening and be ready to respond with a statement that summarizes what you just heard.
    • For example, you might say, “It sounds like you had a really rough day” to sum it up after the speaker is done talking.
  3. 3 Disclose something personal. Vulnerability is a necessary and truly beautiful ingredient in a friendship. Self-disclosure is one of the many things that distinguish friends from acquaintances. You might tell your friend about your parent’s divorce, but you may not share that info with a random person. Make a minor self-disclosure to show the person that you trust them.
    • Think of something small you can share with the other person about yourself like “I had a pretty rough term last school year. My parents got divorced.” Then, see how they handle it to determine if the friendship goes any further.
  4. 4 Risk being rejected. If you’re ready to take your connection with someone to the friendship stage, you’ll have to be willing to take a risk. If you and a potential friend have been hanging out in a group setting, invite the person to a one-on-one outing. This shows that you would like to get to know them beyond the group.
    • Say, “Hey, you seem really cool. Would you like to catch a movie together this Saturday?”
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  • Question Is it too late to make friends? Professional School Counselor Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
  • Question My roommates are not my friends. What can I do? Licensed Professional Counselor Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
  • Question What if I don’t have any friends?

Ask a Question Advertisement Co-authored by: Professional School Counselor This article was co-authored by, Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

  • She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor.
  • She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University.
  • Atie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9).

She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards. This article has been viewed 552,071 times.

  • Co-authors: 73
  • Updated: September 9, 2022
  • Views: 552,071

Categories: While living without friends during your school years can be tough sometimes, you don’t have to have a big social circle to be happy and productive. Instead, develop satisfying hobbies and find other ways to meet your social needs. Develop a new hobby to give your emotions an outlet, like drawing, writing, sculpting, or coding.

You can also improve your mood and self-esteem by getting some exercise, like running, swimming, or biking. If you’re still craving social time, join a club or group for something that interests you, like a book discussion group, sports team, or science club, to stay connected to other people. You can also work or volunteer to get involved with your community and interact with others on a regular basis.

To learn how to treat yourself to a fun solo day on the town, keep reading!

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 552,071 times.

“The way this article points out the advantages of being alone is beautiful. It really helps you embrace solitude by showing the variety of things people can do to build up their personal lives and discover who they are rather than relying on friends.”,”

: 4 Ways to Live Without Friends During School Years
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How many friends should a 12 year old have?

Every child is different – Dr. Busman notes there is also a difference between children who are shy and children who are simply more introverted and prefer spending their down time reading or drawing by themselves. “Different children in the same family can have different social limits and degrees of comfort.

  • A child who prefers quiet time or being in small groups isn’t necessarily avoiding other kids.” But it’s essential that more introverted children still get opportunities to make friends. Dr.
  • Busman recommends knowing how much your child can handle and setting expectations accordingly.
  • It’s enough for some kids to find just one thing they like to do once a week.

Finally, it’s important that parents not place too many of their own social expectations on children. Dr. Rooney advises keeping things in perspective. “Kids need just one or two good friends. You don’t have to worry about them being the most popular kid in their class.”
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Why can’t my 11 year old make friends?

Ask the expert: My 11-year-old daughter is struggling to make friends Q My daughter is 11 and going into 6th class this September, but she is having a difficult summer. She has always found it hard to make many friends as she can be quite shy and not forward in groups.

  1. This means she can be left out of some of the invitation lists for parties in her class.
  2. I always try not to make a big deal of this and support her the best way I can.
  3. This year, things seemed to be better because she developed a good friend from her class who lives near us so they often met for play dates.

The girl went away for the beginning of the summer and my daughter missed her. When she came back, things were different. They met up for a play date and my daughter came back a little upset. There was another girl from the class at the play date and my daughter felt left out.

  • The friend said something to my daughter that upset her – she would not tell me the exact words but it made my daughter think her friend preferred the older girl.
  • Since then, my daughter has been moping around the house.
  • I casually mentioned something to the other mother and she said she thought the play date went fine and did not notice anything.

Should I do anything to help my daughter or will it blow over? I want to make sure everything goes well for her before she starts back to school. A Though good friendships are very important to children’s wellbeing, learning how to make and keep friends is far from easy and can be a big challenge for lots of children as they grow up.

I think many of these challenges can peak at your daughter’s age, when the start of puberty brings heightened self-consciousness and sensitivity as well as an increased desire to make relationships outside the family. At 11, the pressure to fit in becomes intense and children worry about which group they are in or who really are their best friends, and so on.

In addition, during this time it is normal for children to fall in and out of friendships as they experiment and learn about relationships. This means the potential for hurt, upset and feeling excluded are high and this is especially true for young children who may not yet have learned the necessary social skills to deal with these challenges.

While it is not a good idea to micromanage your children’s friendships, most children will need their parents’ support from time to time. While you can’t make decisions about friendships for your daughter, you can expose her to good friendship opportunities, help her learn social skills and be there as a supportive coach as she learns to manage the ups and downs of relationships.

Below are some ideas on how to help your daughter with her current dilemma. It is good that your daughter is talking to you about what happened with her friend, but at the moment she is not telling you all the details. It would be useful if she could tell you exactly what the friend told her so you can understand why she might have felt excluded.

  1. If she talks openly then you can help her put things in perspective.
  2. For example, she could have misinterpreted what the girl said when they met up.
  3. As you talk, make sure you don’t adopt a simple blaming stance towards the other girl which will only make things worse.
  4. Instead, the goal is to to listen supportively to help your daughter understand her own feelings and those of the other girl.

As you listen, you could also acknowledge how hard it might have been to meet her friend after a gap and how difficult it might have been to have the other girl present at the play date. In my experience, three-way or group play dates can be fraught with problems as they can make exclusion more likely, particularly at this sensitive age.

For example, you could offer to invite the friend back to your house for a one-to-one play date in the near future to allow them to reconnect and get over the last incident.Explore with your daughter how this might go well, what they might do together, and how they could simply move on from the previous incident, and so on.In additionto reaching out to the original friend, it is important to help your daughter build some other friendships.

Because of the volatile nature of changing friendships at this age, it is best if your daughter has a few potential friendship groups in different contexts. These can include the school class, neighbours, special interests, cousins and so on. This can help to ensure that she is not over-dependent on one person or one context.

Explore with your daughter other potential children she could make friends with. In my experience, children often get over-focused on one popular friend who doesn’t value them in the same way, when there are often other children they know who are more like them, and who would make better friends at this time.

You can facilitate her making new friends by taking her to interests she enjoys, reaching out to identified children’s parents, and arranging one-to-one play dates, and son on. Dr John Sharry is a social worker and psychotherapist and co-developer of the Parents Plus programmes.
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